AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for While in Toronto

by DuchessAvari

person Katone
schedule August 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Love you, Isa! Hope all goes well with you know what audition! Miss you too much! Hopefully I'll get to fly up for TIFF, so save me a Gala tic! Meanwhile, keep sending me ideas!
Love you and your "stories."
Kat
person anonymous
schedule May 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Is this a Mary Sue? It sure sounds like one.
person sky
schedule May 15, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Dude you gotta continue this!!!!!!!!It was fuckin awesome!!
person Mila
schedule May 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
awesome!!Please please update soon!!
ps: e-mail m ewhen you update plz!
person Nefretiri
schedule April 17, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You should do more.....maybe from Hayden's POV?
person anonymous
schedule October 12, 2004 at 12:00 AM
This suspiciously sounds like a Mary Sue wannabe. Your female lead seems to have an enourmous ego and borders on being too slutty. In one part it sounds like she's trying to make sure he stays drunk enough so she can have sex with a star! Just because she's a female doesn't make getting the partner drunk for sex is any less kosher. Also, you need to double check your spelling because there are too many spelling mistakes. Toning down the girl's tendency to drool about herself and making her more believable could help your story immensely.
schedule October 9, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Sexeh. <333 Love it.