rate_review Reviews

That was amazing. Chapter 5 was so good. Please post A.S.A.P.

That was very hot, I quite enjoyed it. I especially liked the last line, because, well he is Superman :).

Okay, I'm sorry, I'm going to cheat and review both You Can't Control Destiny and its sequel here. I'm being lazy.
I loved You Can't Control Destiny! I thought it was just fantastic. I can't pass any judgement as to whether your characters were "in character", but whether true to the real thing or not, they were very believable and easy to empathise with. Plenty of supporting plot too- decent character development to balance out the adult themes, so that the story had substance.
The sequel, however I appreciate on an entirely different set of values. So far we haven't seen much to reveal anything new about the characters, but there is a lot of toe curling writing. In that sense, I think perhaps you don't need to worry so much about connecting it to the original story- in fact, I think this migth even work better removed from You Can't Control Destiny because really, it feels like the goals of the stories are very different.
Perhaps I am stepping over the line of what is acceptable commentary on a story, but I'm going to go for it anyway- I read through all of your stories, and noticed that your depiction of Hayden has followed a pretty steady development. He seems to get more dominant in each new story. I'm not going to attempt to psychoanalyse you over it- but I thought that it was interesting that your 'sweet, nice-guy' character seemed to deteroirate considerably with each new work. Take, for example, the Hayden from 'The War'- he is almost diametrically oppposed to the depiction offered up in 'You Can't Control Destiny'. Not so different from the Hayden described in 'You STILL Can't Control Destiny', though.
Speaking of which, the latest chapter of YSTILLCCD had me in stitches. The humour was a nice change of pace. Great work.

Gee, Eridani! Thanks for the indepth feedback. I'm glad you like the stories and you are right about a couple things. They are definitely not like each other and I didn't mean them to be. In the case of YSCCD, they trust each other with their inner selves and so are more inclined to explore the physical side of their relationship. And, yes, Hayden has gotten more aggressive in the stories since YCCD. However, I am working on one where he is not quite that aggressive. I didn't think he was real aggressive in Mine To Give, either. But, I get called on the carpet at times for making him too nice! When I get around to writing this next chapter, Natalie is going to pull his plug a bit in a way he doesn't expect. Their wedding is a week away and I just can't have him act like he's been acting. The spiritual and emotional side of their relationship will be more on display. I do, however, hope to keep humor going in places. Maybe Natalie will find out that his brother and sister know about the table! ;-) pensfan

Superman, damn, that's hot.

another great chapter!! thank you for updating!!!

i love this story. especially Hayden. His so sexy! and wicked!
Poor natalie.*evil smile* update soon if u can.

LOLOL! I can't believe that this just gets better and better. Loved the ending to 5. Hilarious, and brilliant. More soon of ANY story please, Bonnie

thanks so much for updating!! i love all ur stories!!

Holy Smoly! That was effing hot.

Is that then end of this story are do you have more torment in store.