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August 4, 2005 at 12:00 AM
yet again even more interesting. this is so addictive. here's cookies pocky and opudding to bribe you to continue.
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August 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
oh kisaki just has to be a bitch and get all of deg pissed off. please continue. here's cookies pocky and pudding to help you write more.
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August 2, 2005 at 12:00 AM
please continue . this story just keeps getting more addictive with each chapter. here's a platre of cookie to help you write faster.
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July 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
oh miyus having puppies. hehe if funny that you have everyone passing out. more please. here's some hot cocoa to help you write more.
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July 29, 2005 at 12:00 AM
uhm... it needs alot of work still. nothing youve written has really improved much. try harder, maybe? anyway, good luck. but you really need a lot of work at writing. im sure eventually you'll get better.
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July 24, 2005 at 12:00 AM
please, please get a beta! some sentences were just really difficult to decipher...
also, for ym taste, the story seams a bit rushed. maybe you should get a bit more into details and describtion, but that is only for my taste.
yours, Zera ^-^
also, for ym taste, the story seams a bit rushed. maybe you should get a bit more into details and describtion, but that is only for my taste.
yours, Zera ^-^
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June 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
*Glomps* I <333 you Kyo XShinya is my favorite pair XD
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June 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
o_O This was short...
...
...
But it was good anyway ^___^ 'cause I liked it a lot 'cause it has Kyo and Shinya acting like a pair of twats :P
I want to read more... and... keep please! Thank you!!! ^__^
...
...
But it was good anyway ^___^ 'cause I liked it a lot 'cause it has Kyo and Shinya acting like a pair of twats :P
I want to read more... and... keep please! Thank you!!! ^__^
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June 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Please, ask someone to beta your FFs..there are so many twisted letters in there.
It was okay in thge first chapter, but the second was kinda short and full of mistakes.
I like the story, but I just cannot read it..
Maybe some things like . , : ; - or something might help..the sentences arent structured at all, and sometimes you just start a phrase inside another.
You are confusing me..lol..
By the way, I like your name..yuuuuki !!!
..^-^..
Lord
It was okay in thge first chapter, but the second was kinda short and full of mistakes.
I like the story, but I just cannot read it..
Maybe some things like . , : ; - or something might help..the sentences arent structured at all, and sometimes you just start a phrase inside another.
You are confusing me..lol..
By the way, I like your name..yuuuuki !!!
..^-^..
Lord
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June 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Your grammar needs alot of work. If you split up some sentences, and changes some words around, I could actually tell what you're trying to say. You could use a beta, it would help alot and make your stories sound alot better. :3 It was a fair attempt tho.