rate_review Reviews

you have got to update this asap!!

Good story but need the second chapter and any other chapters. Please do them

No offence ... I read the first couple of lines, and stopped.
I find it hard to read stories which are not presented/layed out clearly enough.
Maybe you should find I beta, who would help you present you story in a better condition.
I'm sure you would get alot more people reading and reviewing you story if you did.
~ Mercika

Mmm, mm! That was pretty damn good! I wish Randy offered me a deal like that. lol It's turning out pretty good, you should continue. Just a bit of constructive criticism though, space out your paragraphs and re-check your spelling. Other than that, it's awesome.

For your first published fic this is quite nice, although it is rather lacking in some qualities. First of all the randomness of the time you spend on description gives an odd feel to the story; you write the surroundings with extreme detail but when it comes to the characters themselves it gets sparse, leaving them without much personality to speak of. The dialogue is another thing. You have Cena down perfectly but the others' lines are very out of character, and even worse, out of place. I'm referring to Randy getting all logical and reasonable when Cena interrupts their little...fun. The lines don't sound like something anyone might say in the situation, and I don't think I've ever heard the word "homoerotic" used outside very bookish context.
Other than those little hitches the fic is going very nicely and I'll be sure to come back to see how you're going to continue. After all, I'm just a yaoi-fangirl who likes wrestling just a little bit too much for her own good. ;)

Super cool keep on writing

Great job i like the story keep it up and can't wait for the next chapter

I thought it would flow with the dialogue, it seems that I'm wrong. I'm editing the story as to change all the little imperfections that are driving me crazy. Thank you, I'll remove the word at once.

sooo cool, keep updateing sounds wicked, damn im curious lol

good job real good job xxx

It's ok..., but I suggest you use a different word for "Fag" as it is a derogatory term, It does not mean gay (homosexual)... and please don't use that word anymore