AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for About a dream

by SweetEire

person Fanny
schedule August 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Hi Laura,
wow 2 ff at once. And both are very good.
I like your plot and I like your characters.
Continue, please.
Hug Fanny
person jw
schedule August 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love it! But there are a few mistakes you need to be careful of.

1. Verb tense, you switch from First Person I to Third Person He/she/we/ and they
2. Also make sure to correctly seperate the paragraphs and dialogue appropreately.\

You might want to get a beta reader to check for errors.

Otherwise, I loved the plot, and I think you have a good story. But once you take care of the errors, it'll be even better.

person Jessica
schedule August 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow, this was very good. I am glad I inspired you to write this and you are also a very talented writer. I hope the next one comes out soon, because I want to read what happens. Great Job

Jessica