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October 13, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Dammit, darlin', you keep writing fics like this and I might just become a slash fan.
I think my favorite part was the voyeuristic feel you get. Not so much because we're the reader and it's third person omni, but because of Mike discovering the journals. Seeing Billie's feelings first reflected through the mirror of his poetry/observations and then through the mirror of Mike's perceptions is powerful and I like it.
There's also a trueness here that I wasn't expecting. I like how you start with random poems and then give a sense of urgency by simply labeling one poem a year. Added that, putting all the focus on 1989 as a specific "when it all began" kind of mushroom cloud is great. I think one of the things I enjoy about your pieces is that you don't seem to have any kind of issue with slash fic, or rather, you don't feel the need to explain the characters' feelings into the ground with endless "i know he's straight, but..." you just let the characters go where they will and expect the reader to have the maturity to understand it. (Good job on that, by the way) The only thing I wonder about is how does it all go back to normal after the "one night"?
Obviously it doesn't, judging from the ending, if anything things keep spiraling downward. But does Billie get distant? Or do things just stay the way they are until he offs himself and then everybody with the exception maybe of Mike go "wtf?" Oh, and what does Adrienne think of all this? I'd almost want to see a sequel that's maybe Mike and Adrienne trying to make some sense of what happened. Just because she's been married to the man for however long, arguebly there's no way she didn't sense something.
But that's me rambling.
Otherwise, excellent go of it!
xox cherie,
Saphire
I think my favorite part was the voyeuristic feel you get. Not so much because we're the reader and it's third person omni, but because of Mike discovering the journals. Seeing Billie's feelings first reflected through the mirror of his poetry/observations and then through the mirror of Mike's perceptions is powerful and I like it.
There's also a trueness here that I wasn't expecting. I like how you start with random poems and then give a sense of urgency by simply labeling one poem a year. Added that, putting all the focus on 1989 as a specific "when it all began" kind of mushroom cloud is great. I think one of the things I enjoy about your pieces is that you don't seem to have any kind of issue with slash fic, or rather, you don't feel the need to explain the characters' feelings into the ground with endless "i know he's straight, but..." you just let the characters go where they will and expect the reader to have the maturity to understand it. (Good job on that, by the way) The only thing I wonder about is how does it all go back to normal after the "one night"?
Obviously it doesn't, judging from the ending, if anything things keep spiraling downward. But does Billie get distant? Or do things just stay the way they are until he offs himself and then everybody with the exception maybe of Mike go "wtf?" Oh, and what does Adrienne think of all this? I'd almost want to see a sequel that's maybe Mike and Adrienne trying to make some sense of what happened. Just because she's been married to the man for however long, arguebly there's no way she didn't sense something.
But that's me rambling.
Otherwise, excellent go of it!
xox cherie,
Saphire
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October 12, 2005 at 12:00 AM
OMG...That was so good...and so sad. I feel so bad for Billie Joe.I can't wait to see another one of your stories. If you ever consider putting anyone in your stories I'll be your guinea pig! (Just in case Name's Stephanie...And I love Mike!!!) Cause you're just awesome like that!
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October 9, 2005 at 12:00 AM
That ending has me a little scared.....
Nice description and everything, though. I enjoyed reading it.
Nice description and everything, though. I enjoyed reading it.
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October 7, 2005 at 12:00 AM
dude, this was fucking awsome, you did a fucking amzing job, i was like so drawin into this story i cant even explan it, well i wanna be in one of your stories that would be awsome, hehe meh name is shawna, you should really think about putting me it one.
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October 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
So sad! But still, very good. Now you are a smut master AND an angst master. Why do I even bother trying to write my own? lol.
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October 6, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Beautiful . . .sad, yet so amazing. I feel so bad for Billie Joe in this one . . .it's hard to tell what's more heartbreaking: the rape in "How we got here" or him being so depressed and heartbroken in this. Obviously I loved it . . .can't wait for your next one.