rate_review Reviews

"OHH....oh my ballls..."

LOL... I've heard guys say a lot of things during sex, but never that...

I hate people who can't accept criticism. And so what if you spent six months on a story? JK Rowling spent years and years developing Harry Potter, she got rejected several times, but she didn't throw a childish fit, did she?

Whatever, I'm late in reviewing this, and it's all been said and done, I just wanted to put my opinion in. Your lack of maturity just totally wrecked your story for me.

Im defensive because Im tired of being the only one that DOES get this kind of cirticism. You wanna know the truth? I didnt even WRITE this for Twiggy, I wrote it as a one off for another site. I decided to incorporate him later when I got stuck during "She Was the Only One". And do NOT go off about that one, I worked for over six months on it. I didnt WANT these to be about anything more than the needs of another race, and how that affects the humans they chose. Im not even attached to them overmuch. But I wont say that Im not proud of the eroticism that I chose to present. If I wanted to take it into deeper status, you wouldve known a hell of alot more about Jenna. I didnt WANT to, so I didnt do it. I was at work on another story where I did, so I chose that one for my "depth".

I go over my entire novel at least once every day. Im proud of it, its been in the works for over a year. I hope to post it here someday when its done, and although I spend so much time and thought on it, youll still find fault with it. What Im saying is tit for tat. If I have to accept your criticisms, then you have to aceept mine, and I dont see you doing that.

Oh and I know plenty of people who announce thier orgasms, I do, and alot of my partners have. I think its erotic to know just to know the breaking points. I just find it VERY hard to believe that theres nothing positive at all in what I do.

R

I thought she was another species, I don't know of any race in existance that has litters or tails. . . Incandecent was alos a story about passion, and you mistentreperted it. Which is fine, each to there own. I have a problem with furries and so I had a problem with this story.

A good passionate word: Mourir. . .

First of all Ryanne, spelling and grammar do count. How would you publish a novel with shitty grammar? I believe I heard somewhere that you are trying to write one, and no one is going to publish it unless you fix your grammar.

And I didn't read your story just to point out grammar mistakes.

And you didn't use powerful words, my dear, you used ahhh's and ohh's in your dialogue. A real writer doesn't have to do that. They use discriptive words like you did in your other "paragraphs" to describe the sounds they are making.

And I do write my own stories. In fact, I write original fiction, and therefore I have to develop my characters a hell of alot more than you could ever imagine.

If you were to pull out all the stops, the story would have a real plot, proper grammer and puncuation, and no run on sentences.

I'm sorry if you're used to blind adoration, but I'm sick of seeing fanfiction with no depth.

And I am sorry that I mistook your "race" for another species, but it seems to me that it was a furry.

I am not however sorry that you do not know how to use a thesarus or a comma.

And Ryanne, honey, you would not reply if you didn't care about my opinion. Even aknowledging I reviewed showed that you do care that I think.

First, I dont WANT my novel published, Im doing it for ME. Grammer does NOT count in stories like these. Im not going to use word to make sure the story I wrote out of passion puts its periods in where they should be. Im taking you into the situation, not taking you to school.

Im defending my WORK, and I dont believe you HAVE to use proper grammer to write a good passion. Sorry if you couldnt see past it to enjoy it.

And Incandescent made no sense. It had no point, and was written with a veil of gauze over it that made it just an over romantic poem, not a story. And it was boring. You know what I hate in the fiction world....NO POINT! Make one.

I thought I also pointed out in the story that the RACE had been aroudnd for millions of years. Now who isnt reading?

Get over it Nessa, and go publish a perfect story with grammer and using a thesarus. I REFUSE to edit my stories, and I never will. Theyre written for the situation not puncuation. So fuck off.

R

Actually Incandescent did have a point, it was a poetic take on a relationship between pogo and Twiggy, when he was being abused, it actually said a lot if you read between the lines and looked through the symbols. One must understand symbolism to comprehend it.

By the way, grammar is essential in all forms of writing, grammar is what connects you to your readers. Grammar is the base of communication, and it's a pity you don't see that.

Were I if to this write you not will understand. It takes sometime, but without grammar in everyday we would all talk and sound like Yoda. Read your stories out load and tell me that they make perfect sense.

I don't want to argue with you, I'll let Nessa do it she is far better than I, it just irked me that you cannot look beyond the obvious and see beauty in truly powerful words. Your words do not inspire me, they are erotic words like:

Love meat and sausage of love.

Dictionaries and thesauruses are your friends as a writer and the fact that you do not wish to use them tells one something about your disposition. If I weren't so happy I just say 'bitch-boy' hump his upright bass I'd yell more, but unfortunately an hour long conversation with Hanson seems more appealing right about now.

-QoS

PS: She gave you constructive criticism and you chose not to improve no wonder you are heinous, you chose not to make yourself a better person. Pity Pity.

The situation was what you wrote this for? Well either way, the situation was also horribly done. It appears that you put absolutely no thought into it. And if you don't want to get critiqued for the technicalities - don't post.

Simple enough, isn't it?

You remind me of a defensive thirteen year old with a napoleon complex.

Plus, you say incandescent had no point? This one shot has no real point. It's mindless sex. Which I don't really mind - don't assume I critique for just depth and grammar.

This story was the most boring, illiterate thing I've ever read - aside from stories with net speak.

At least incandescent had grammar and punctuation, symbolism - even interesting word choice going for it.

This story has nothing. No point, no plot, shitty paragraphs, bad punctuation, little to no character development, poor word choice, obvious lack of vocabulary, no interesting back story, nada.

Personally, I think you have potential - but you need a thesaurus and a grammar class. You need more character development, and definitely need to take more time with your stories.

If you truly love writing, you'd take the time needed to develop the skill, instead of slapping a few shitty euphemisms, a girl with a tail, and a beloved musician into what you call a story.

All I'm asking is that you take a few moments to re-read your stories and fix what makes them shit - it's not hard. It's what real writers do - proofread, edit, and use criticism constructively. Without that you're just wasting everyone's time.

QoS, I dont see YOU taking on any criticism very well, in fact, you just laugh it off as "you dont get it".

I feel my charachters DO have depth, and I challenge you to proove where they dont. Yeah, I did this as a one off, and I didnt need to go into epic poetry to do it. I could do that, I find it boring. What words are erotic? Besides words that describe a lightbulb. Insidious, grandiose, indescernable, epic, how about haughty, despicable, blousy, snobbery?

The reason I dont take these criticisms are because Im not writing these for perfection in anything. If I wanted to do that, Id open up word and write a perfectly puncuated one off gauzy poem and call THAT passion. I dont want to. I want to write with power. And not power in that editorial way that makes watercolors into Monets, no matter how bad they are.

I love the men I write about, an respect them deeply. I put my own emotions, and my own ideas into the situations that I put them in, and Im sorry if its not poetic or noone gets raped. And dont argue depth with me, I simply dont believe you when you tell me my characters dont have it.

Ill make sure my next story is a barely engaging yawnfest with big words and perfect puncuation K?

R

You're not listening to what we're saying. We're saying this story has nothing to it - including passion. It's not only the shitty grammar and punctuation that bothers us - it's the lack of character development and passion that makes it what it is - that being a waste of time.

Stop picking through what we've said. We're not just attacking it's technical errors - we're also commenting on it's lack of passion - it's lack of emotion that we get from it as the readers. You don't see what we see simply because it's your own work, and you think it's passionate because you have passion for it. We see no passion. It's not inspiring, it doesn't hit us. We may be mean - but at the same time we're trying to get you to convey what we see when you defend your story so vigorously - we're trying to get you to put that same heart into that story so that we can get out of it what you do.

But you're obviously stuck where you are - so I'm going to leave the conversation after this. You will just choose to ignore our pointers, and continue to write stories that the readers don't connect with. That's your choice. And it's your choice to drive readers away because it's not something they care about. Readers need to care about your characters to care about the story. That's something you don't seem to understand.

And just because a story is great on the technical side, does not mean it's always horrible on the plot and depth side - stop trying to defend your lack of knowledge on the technical side by saying that a story with great technical aspects leaves the reader snoring. Because it's not true. In fact, when the grammar is proper - the reader will like the story more because the sentences make more sense, and they don't have to re-read everything to understand it.