rate_review Reviews

Cute start..evil place to stop...keep going!

NO FREAKIN WAY!!!!!!!!^.^ Yay another fantastic writer to add to my lists of ongoing authers!!!!! Yay!!!! Wow i liked this a lot!!!!! I cant wait to see what the next chappie is!!!!!! OH OH OH Will Ville have a pain fedish in this one????!!!!!!1 YAY!!!! VAM lovin...not enough of it in this world....I still dont know why Bam has yet to come out with himself being gay,,,,,Villes body and personality is just to damn hot to deny!!!!!!!!Ahhhhhh thell come out someday!!!!!And when that day comes all us authers are gunna come togather and PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep it up hun!!!!!!!!
----~Pyra~

Hey....OMFG i love it...this rocks....i can't wait till you put up another chapter

Eeeeeh. For your first, it's not too bad. It's got some great potential, but the spacing and such bugs me. It'd be a lot easier if you'd spaced it into proper paragraphs. ^^;

I know, constrictive reviews suck ass but meh. That's my job.

-x-Valo

It's not bad, not great. Your spacing is really annoying, it makes it hard to read. Try putting spaces between paragraphs and dialouge - it looks so much better.

This could be really bad or surprisingly good. The whole Bam loves Ville, Ville loves Bam but they can't tell each other thing has been done so many times. So try and make sure you make it interesting and change things up a bit, instead of the normal 'omg I luv u! letz fuk!' You know what I mean?

I'm not bashing you or anything, just trying to be helpful. :) Good luck with this, I think you can do it.