rate_review Reviews

You made me cry!!! Great story I love the poetry

Dear shivingdeep,
"Anon" was 100% correct. As far as grammer goes, it doesn't show that you're very good with it either. So, maybe you should just let her decide herself. The grammer isn't BAD but it isn't good. It's okay.

Aside from that, it wasn't TO bad. Could have been better.

Girl I only got this far for reading. Awesome job! I will read more later. You keep up the good work and don't let anyone diss ya!

Thanks for the feedback!! I hope you will be as pleased with Fallen 2 as you are with this one.

this is one of the best stories i evr read. it was awesome. i love te fact that you write it in the first person point of view.
it makes me feels like i'm the one telling the story. i thank you for it. you did a very good job in writng it. again good job.

Dear Annon, this story is off da hook. Thanks for giving my girl here some grammar suggestions, and i'm sure that she appreciates them. On the otherhand, babygirl has 356 freakin hits, so OBVIOUSLY people are reading it and eating it up.

Don't think I'm being harsh b/c I didn't like the story. I don't think the story was that bad, it could be better if you made some changes. The tense was the biggest problem I had. I didn't finish reading the story b/c I honestly got sick and tired of deciphering the tenses. You switch verb tenses way too much. Sometimes you have to stick with one and never falter. I think the story will be so much better if you would just stick with one tense. The easiest tense is past. Also, if you were to be more descriptive and not so fast pace I think the story will be better. You also have to watch your time reference. You easily switch back to six months and so forth and the readers are left confused. Work on these things and I think the story will be better.