Phone Call from Santa
folder
Singers/Bands/Musicians › Green Day
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
5
Views:
1,548
Reviews:
10
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Singers/Bands/Musicians › Green Day
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
5
Views:
1,548
Reviews:
10
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Green Day. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Phone Call from Santa
***DEDICATED WITH OODLES OF LOVE AND HUGS AND CANDY CANES TO ERM FOR THE INSPIRATION! I WUV YOU!!!***
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own.
A/N: Billie and Mike have twin girls again. Bailey and Kayla. Tre and Adie are married with a little boy named Benjamin.
There's no sex at the beginning. It's a weird fucked up storyline with sex at the end.
Phone Call from Santa
Part One
"I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need."
It was Christmas Eve. Mike was going insane.
Billie was covered in tape and wrapping paper, and the girls were covered in candy cane stickiness. Tre, Adie, and Ben were due over any minute. Something in the oven was burning, but he couldn't find any potholders. The radio was playing a bad version of a bad Christmas song entirely too loud and now the cat had a mouse hanging from it's mouth, so now the girls (and Billie) were screaming.
Mike kicked the oven, turned off the radio on his way to the living room, grabbed a towel and yanked the mouse from the cat, throwing it in the trash, and answered the doorbell.
The girls resumed eating candy canes, but Billie was still whimpering from the anguish of seeing a dead mouse when Tre, Adrienne, and Ben entered the house.
The smoke alarm went off and Mike cursed, running into the kitchen and turning off the now smoking oven. He couldn't even remember what Billie had put in it. He finally found a potholder and pulled the black lump that resembled absolutely nothing out and placed the pan on the stove.
Billie was crying into Adrienne's shoulder now and Tre was feeding the kids more sugar. Mike leaned against the counter and fished in his pocket for his cigarettes. He couldn't help but smile as Billie sobbed the entire story of the dead mouse out to Adrienne and how 'Mike saved us all'.
Billie was terrified of mice and spiders. It was cute. Or else terribly annoying.
Mike sighed and put the cigarettes on the counter, going upstairs. He wasn't gone two minutes before the phone rang.
Adrienne answered it and handed it to Billie. "It's for you."
Billie stood up and wiped at his cheeks, walking into the next room. "Hello?"
"Hello, Billie."
Billie didn't recognize the voice. "Err, hi. Who is this?"
"It's Santa."
The shriek that came from Billie was enough to make the dogs next door look around. "Is it really? How do I know you're not a fake?"
"Today you ate bagels for breakfast and you're wearing a blue sweater."
Billie grinned. "It is you."
"What do you want for Christmas this year?"
Billie thought for a minute. "I want the girls to have a good Christmas." he said sincerely. "And I want Mike to not be stressed. His shoulders are hurting because he gets really tense around Christmas."
"Anything for yourself?" Santa asked.
"Well, a good Christmas romp wouldn't hurt." Billie started when he felt two arms circle around his waist from behind.
"Who ya talkin' to?" Mike whispered.
"Santa." Billie said without missing a beat.
"Santa?" Mike asked.
"Merry Christmas, Billie." Santa said. "And tell Mike not to be so skeptical. Christmas is a time for miracles."
"Bye, Santa." Billie said. "Merry Christmas." He hung after the line disconnected. "I love you Mike. I'm sorry I burnt the cookies."
Mike kissed Billie's cheek. "I love you, too. Now let's go back to the front room. The girls want to sing Christmas carols."
*
"Jingle bells, fu--" Mike put his hand over Billie's mouth before he could sing a spur of the moment naughty Christmas carol in front of three young children.
"What the fuck'd you do that for?" Billie said, only it sounded more 'whadafuyathafo' as Mike's hand was still securely over his mouth.
"What's got you in such a good mood all of a sudden?" Tre asked. "First you were fucking bawling," Mike and Adie both sighed, "and now you're through the roof. What kind of weed are you smoking?"
"I got a phone call from S-A-N-T-A." Billie said, after he pulled Mike's hand away from his mouth.
"I think you misspelled Satan." Tre said. "That's S-A-T-A-N, but I'll give you credit since you're a slow learner."
"What's Statan?" Kayla asked.
"A bad, bad man." Adie said before her husband could say anything else. She shot him a pointed look as he opened his mouth. It quickly shut again.
"Bad, bad man. Statan's a bad, bad man, Bailey." Kayla said, trying to steal her sister's candy cane.
A candy cane scuffle ensued which ended with Benjamin screaming 'Statan Statan Statan' at the top of his lungs, Kayla and Bailey being sent to time out, and Billie bitching about the candy cane stickiness in his hair.
"Billie," Adie said, "what would Santa think if he heard you saying things like that?"
Billie's eyes widened and he clasped his hands over his mouth, pulling them away long enough to whisper, "I'm sorry".
"Is Daddy gonna get coal in his socking?" Kayla asked from the corner of the room.
"Quiet." Mike warned. "You're in time out. Talk again and time starts over."
"You're so mean." Billie said. "It's Christmas Eve. I can't believe you put them in time out."
"They were pulling each other's hair." Mike said, giving Billie a look similiar to the one Adie had given Tre.
"But you pull my hair all the time." Billie whined.
"I don't think this is an appropriate conversation for the kids." Adie said from the couch.
"I wasn't talking about that." Billie said. "How bad of a father do you think I am? Seriously, one word and you think I'm going to say 'sex' in front of them." His eyes widened. "Shit."
"Daddy, wha's sex?" Kayla asked from the couch.
"Quiet." Mike said again. "You're in time out."
Tre was laughing so hard tears were streaming out of his eyes.
Adie rolled her eyes heavenward. "Why, God, why?"
"Statan Statan Statan!" Benjamin sang, jumping on the couch.
***
It calmed down after Tre and Adie left--promising to be over by noon the next day--and the girls were tucked into bed, left whispering about Santa and reindeer.
Mike and Billie were sitting on the couch in front of the fire, Billie between Mike's legs. "Billie, who was really on the phone earlier?" Mike asked.
"Santa." Billie said.
"Billie Joe." Mike said, sternly. "Who was it, really?"
"It was Santa." Billie said. "And he said you shouldn't be so skeptical and Christmas is a time for a miracles."
"Billie . . . was it a guy? Another guy?" Mike asked softly.
Billie pulled away and stood up. "It was Santa. Not another guy. It's Christmas. How could you even think that?"
He grabbed a pack of cigarettes off the TV and opened the door to go outside.
"Billie, I don't care if it is California, put on a pair of shoes."
"No." Billie said stubbornly. "And don't wait up. I'm going to watch for reindeer.
*
"That wasn't very nice." a voice said from behind Mike. "You shouldn't fight on Christmas."
"I thought I told you to stay--" Mike froze. That wasn't a female voice. Slowly, afraid of the burglar he was going to see, he turned.
The speaker was hidden mostly by the shadows. "Why put a damper on his happiness?"
"Get the fuck out of my house." Mike said, reaching around on the floor for something he could hit the guy with. "Take whatever you want, but get the fuck out of my house."
The man shook his head sadly and Mike's eyes widened as the stranger stepped into the light. Mike had seen the pictures often enough to have his jaw drop, even though he'd never met the man.
"Holy shit, what the fuck did Billie put in that wine?"
"I see you recognize me."
"Kind of hard not to." Mike said. "I'm going to bed."
The man stretched out a hand and grasped Mike's wrist tightly. "You aren't going anywhere. You see, I'm the ghost of Christmas past. And we're going on a visit."
Mike fainted and Billie's father swore.
---
Well...
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own.
A/N: Billie and Mike have twin girls again. Bailey and Kayla. Tre and Adie are married with a little boy named Benjamin.
There's no sex at the beginning. It's a weird fucked up storyline with sex at the end.
Phone Call from Santa
Part One
"I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need."
It was Christmas Eve. Mike was going insane.
Billie was covered in tape and wrapping paper, and the girls were covered in candy cane stickiness. Tre, Adie, and Ben were due over any minute. Something in the oven was burning, but he couldn't find any potholders. The radio was playing a bad version of a bad Christmas song entirely too loud and now the cat had a mouse hanging from it's mouth, so now the girls (and Billie) were screaming.
Mike kicked the oven, turned off the radio on his way to the living room, grabbed a towel and yanked the mouse from the cat, throwing it in the trash, and answered the doorbell.
The girls resumed eating candy canes, but Billie was still whimpering from the anguish of seeing a dead mouse when Tre, Adrienne, and Ben entered the house.
The smoke alarm went off and Mike cursed, running into the kitchen and turning off the now smoking oven. He couldn't even remember what Billie had put in it. He finally found a potholder and pulled the black lump that resembled absolutely nothing out and placed the pan on the stove.
Billie was crying into Adrienne's shoulder now and Tre was feeding the kids more sugar. Mike leaned against the counter and fished in his pocket for his cigarettes. He couldn't help but smile as Billie sobbed the entire story of the dead mouse out to Adrienne and how 'Mike saved us all'.
Billie was terrified of mice and spiders. It was cute. Or else terribly annoying.
Mike sighed and put the cigarettes on the counter, going upstairs. He wasn't gone two minutes before the phone rang.
Adrienne answered it and handed it to Billie. "It's for you."
Billie stood up and wiped at his cheeks, walking into the next room. "Hello?"
"Hello, Billie."
Billie didn't recognize the voice. "Err, hi. Who is this?"
"It's Santa."
The shriek that came from Billie was enough to make the dogs next door look around. "Is it really? How do I know you're not a fake?"
"Today you ate bagels for breakfast and you're wearing a blue sweater."
Billie grinned. "It is you."
"What do you want for Christmas this year?"
Billie thought for a minute. "I want the girls to have a good Christmas." he said sincerely. "And I want Mike to not be stressed. His shoulders are hurting because he gets really tense around Christmas."
"Anything for yourself?" Santa asked.
"Well, a good Christmas romp wouldn't hurt." Billie started when he felt two arms circle around his waist from behind.
"Who ya talkin' to?" Mike whispered.
"Santa." Billie said without missing a beat.
"Santa?" Mike asked.
"Merry Christmas, Billie." Santa said. "And tell Mike not to be so skeptical. Christmas is a time for miracles."
"Bye, Santa." Billie said. "Merry Christmas." He hung after the line disconnected. "I love you Mike. I'm sorry I burnt the cookies."
Mike kissed Billie's cheek. "I love you, too. Now let's go back to the front room. The girls want to sing Christmas carols."
*
"Jingle bells, fu--" Mike put his hand over Billie's mouth before he could sing a spur of the moment naughty Christmas carol in front of three young children.
"What the fuck'd you do that for?" Billie said, only it sounded more 'whadafuyathafo' as Mike's hand was still securely over his mouth.
"What's got you in such a good mood all of a sudden?" Tre asked. "First you were fucking bawling," Mike and Adie both sighed, "and now you're through the roof. What kind of weed are you smoking?"
"I got a phone call from S-A-N-T-A." Billie said, after he pulled Mike's hand away from his mouth.
"I think you misspelled Satan." Tre said. "That's S-A-T-A-N, but I'll give you credit since you're a slow learner."
"What's Statan?" Kayla asked.
"A bad, bad man." Adie said before her husband could say anything else. She shot him a pointed look as he opened his mouth. It quickly shut again.
"Bad, bad man. Statan's a bad, bad man, Bailey." Kayla said, trying to steal her sister's candy cane.
A candy cane scuffle ensued which ended with Benjamin screaming 'Statan Statan Statan' at the top of his lungs, Kayla and Bailey being sent to time out, and Billie bitching about the candy cane stickiness in his hair.
"Billie," Adie said, "what would Santa think if he heard you saying things like that?"
Billie's eyes widened and he clasped his hands over his mouth, pulling them away long enough to whisper, "I'm sorry".
"Is Daddy gonna get coal in his socking?" Kayla asked from the corner of the room.
"Quiet." Mike warned. "You're in time out. Talk again and time starts over."
"You're so mean." Billie said. "It's Christmas Eve. I can't believe you put them in time out."
"They were pulling each other's hair." Mike said, giving Billie a look similiar to the one Adie had given Tre.
"But you pull my hair all the time." Billie whined.
"I don't think this is an appropriate conversation for the kids." Adie said from the couch.
"I wasn't talking about that." Billie said. "How bad of a father do you think I am? Seriously, one word and you think I'm going to say 'sex' in front of them." His eyes widened. "Shit."
"Daddy, wha's sex?" Kayla asked from the couch.
"Quiet." Mike said again. "You're in time out."
Tre was laughing so hard tears were streaming out of his eyes.
Adie rolled her eyes heavenward. "Why, God, why?"
"Statan Statan Statan!" Benjamin sang, jumping on the couch.
***
It calmed down after Tre and Adie left--promising to be over by noon the next day--and the girls were tucked into bed, left whispering about Santa and reindeer.
Mike and Billie were sitting on the couch in front of the fire, Billie between Mike's legs. "Billie, who was really on the phone earlier?" Mike asked.
"Santa." Billie said.
"Billie Joe." Mike said, sternly. "Who was it, really?"
"It was Santa." Billie said. "And he said you shouldn't be so skeptical and Christmas is a time for a miracles."
"Billie . . . was it a guy? Another guy?" Mike asked softly.
Billie pulled away and stood up. "It was Santa. Not another guy. It's Christmas. How could you even think that?"
He grabbed a pack of cigarettes off the TV and opened the door to go outside.
"Billie, I don't care if it is California, put on a pair of shoes."
"No." Billie said stubbornly. "And don't wait up. I'm going to watch for reindeer.
*
"That wasn't very nice." a voice said from behind Mike. "You shouldn't fight on Christmas."
"I thought I told you to stay--" Mike froze. That wasn't a female voice. Slowly, afraid of the burglar he was going to see, he turned.
The speaker was hidden mostly by the shadows. "Why put a damper on his happiness?"
"Get the fuck out of my house." Mike said, reaching around on the floor for something he could hit the guy with. "Take whatever you want, but get the fuck out of my house."
The man shook his head sadly and Mike's eyes widened as the stranger stepped into the light. Mike had seen the pictures often enough to have his jaw drop, even though he'd never met the man.
"Holy shit, what the fuck did Billie put in that wine?"
"I see you recognize me."
"Kind of hard not to." Mike said. "I'm going to bed."
The man stretched out a hand and grasped Mike's wrist tightly. "You aren't going anywhere. You see, I'm the ghost of Christmas past. And we're going on a visit."
Mike fainted and Billie's father swore.
---
Well...