Whyd You Have To Go And Make Things So Complicated

M. Shadows. Love of my life. I call him Matt… Joel Madden, my ex-fiancé. I got dumped for Hilary Duff…but the girl is pretty fucking awesome. Then there are Billy Martin and Zacky Vengeance, my best friends. And this is my fucking life.

I rolled over in my hotel bed. Zacky’s eyes were staring into mine. I look to my left; Billy’s ass is still dead asleep.
“Are you hung over?” He asked.
“No.” I smiled and shook my head.
“M. called looking for you earlier. I told him you would call him back when you woke up.” Zacky informed me.

I hadn’t talked to Matt in a few days. I think that he was still made at me sometimes for the whole Joel thing. After everything that had happened between M. and I, I felt that maybe I needed at change…and there was Joel.

I found myself looking at Zacky’s nose ring.
“Are you going to call him?” He asked.
I looked sighed and got up from between Billy and Zacky. I grabbed my cell phone off the nightstand and sat on the couch in the living space of our hotel room. I scrolled through my contacts until Matt Shadows appeared. I pressed send and held the phone to my ear. Ring…Ring…Ring… then a distant ‘FUCK’ followed by “Hello?”

“Zacky told me you called.”
“Yeah…um, how have you been?”
“Better.” I shrugged.
“I know the whole Joel and Hilary thing sucks, but I mean…you have Zacky and Billy. And even me.”
I smirked a little at his words. My Matt, he was such an angel. I couldn’t lie. I stilled loved him.
“So, maybe you can ride on our bus with us this week.” Matt said softly.
“Yeah, life with Hilary’s getting a tad old.” I bit my lip.
“Things between you and Joel have changed haven’t they?”
I bit my lip and held back the words that I wanted to blurt out. I love you, and I miss you!
“Yeah, they’ve changed a lot actually.” I sighed.
“Are you coming to the show tonight?”
“Why wouldn’t I go?” I responded.
“I don’t know…because Hilary’s going to be there…”
“I have no problems with that little drama queen…”I sighed.
“Well, hey, I’ll catch you tonight, okay?”
“Alright I’ll see you later, bye.” I hung up and walked back into the bedroom.
Zacky was laying on his back looking up at me and Billy was snoring loudly on the opposite side.
I took my spot in the middle of them and lay my head on Zacky’s shoulder.
“Why do things have to be so complicated?” I sighed.
“Joel and Matt are losers?” He laughed.
“No...They’re both sweethearts…just both like cheating on their girlfriends…or fiancé which ever it may be.” I responded.
“I can’t believe Joel broke of your engagement for a 17 year old.”
“Me either…”I bit my lip. “I mean, even after I left Matt for him.”
“Let’s get ready for the day, and I’ll even let you shower first!” Zacky smirked.
“Thanks.” I laughed a little.


Benji handed me another Smirnoff. I watched as A7X finished their set and leaned on Billy’s arm.
“Ready?” I asked.
“Yeah, I think so.” He smiled.
I hugged him as the other guys joined us to the side of the stage. I took a drink of my Smirnoff as “Unholy Confessions” concluded.
“I know it’s hurting you, But it’s killing me…” Matt sang the last verse and smiled at the audience.
I watched and Zacky and Syn played guitar back to back. It was awesome, almost like a mirror image.

A few hours later I was sitting in the hallway of the hotel next to Johnny. I wasn’t drunk, but very close to it. I stared at Matt who was fucking a groupie on the wall down the hall. As usual it was one huge party after a show. Billy sat down next to me as I took another drink of my White Russian.
“Where’s Zacky?” I asked leaning my head on the wall.
“I have no clue, but I hope it’s no where like where Joel and M are.” Billy sighed, drinking his straight Vodka.
“Let me guess, Joel’s committing statutory rape?” I asked.
“Yup…” Billy sighed.
“Looks like I’m going to bed then…”I stated, standing up.
I was a little wobbly at first, and then I finally began down the hallway to my hotel room. I walked against the wall, trying not to fall. I knew that Johnny and Billy were watching. Suddenly Joel’s hotel room door opened and he stepped out in front of me.
“Hey, are you okay Casey?” He asked.
I rolled my eyes; I wasn’t in the mood for this bullshit right now.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I responded.
“You’re drunk…” He said, putting his hand on my arm.
God, why won’t he just leave me alone?
“I’m fine…okay?” I glared.
“No, I’ll help you…come on…” He began.
I took a deep breath.
“Joel, just leave me alone, okay? You’ve already made my life miserable enough don’t you think?” I asked.
I pushed him away from me and continued towards my room.
“Casey!” He yelled, as Matt appeared out of the corner of my eye.
FUCK! Where the hell did he come from? And where the fuck was his groupie?
I sped up and tried to beat them to my room. I shoved the key in the door and pushed it open. Before I knew it Joel and Matt were in my room.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Casey?” Joel asked.
“What are you talking about?” I groaned.
“What the hell is with you being drunk all the time?” Joel responded.
“I’m not drunk, just fucking buzzed, okay. How about you go back to fucking your minor and Matt, you go back to fucking your little blonde groupie!” I rolled my eyes.
“You’re way to fucking out of control these days…” Matt responded.
“What the fuck does that mean Matt?” I glared.
Do NOT start with me Matthew!
“You have been getting drunk an a lot this tour. Last tour you weren’t near as bad!”
“Matt’s right Case…” Joel said sitting on the chair across from the bed.
I couldn’t even describe how awkward this was.
“There are major differences between this tour and the last.”
“Like what?”
“Let’s see Matt, last tour we were together…you cheated on me…thrice…yes thrice is a word and then me and Joely here got together…he proposed to me two months ago then broke off our engagement for some FUCKING PREPPY BLONDE who just happens to be a MINOR!” I glared.
Joel’s eyes narrowed, “Casey, you just fucking crossed the line…”
“You crossed the line when you cheated on me with that little blonde bitch!” I glared.
“You’re the one that left me…” Matt bit his lip.
“That was after you cheated on me with the same fucking groupie last time…and after everything we went through Matt…”
Some how neither of them seemed to care that they had both been in a serious relationship with me…
“Then why the hell are you here?” Matt asked.
“BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT ZACKY AND BILLY!” I screamed, breaking down.
I stared at the pocket in the front of my black A7X hoodie as Joel slowly stood up to leave…Matt sat down across from me where Joel had just been sitting.
“You need to calm down about this…” Matt whispered.
I didn’t say a word; I just stared at the skull and bat wings.
I loved Matt…more than he knew.
He slowly stood up and walked out the door. I felt tears come to my eyes.