Jesse's Adventures

"Hi, this is Jesse McCartney. My friend, the actor Jeremy Sumpter and I helped this guy the Doctor. Turns out he's a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. He's regenerated a lotta times but now he's in his like 34th body or sumthin but he's fucking hot. We helped him out and now, Jeremy and I stayed with him, for we fell in love with him and each other and we have adventures in the past and the future and even the present in other times and other planets and shit like that. It's fucking unreal. And Jeremy and I have found that we are gay and we have to figure out if we ever decide to leave the TARDIS, oh, that's the Doctor's time and space machine, how to tell the world and our fans we are fucking gay and loving every minute of it. So far we've stopped the Master, faced death in the far past of Earth's Australian islands, seen volcanoes blow off, blown each other off, faced down a witch who took us over to have our bodies, been to 1600s and met historical figures who wanted to hang us, met sexy Adam from Phillie, young Joey from the past in the 30s, this sexy guy who looks like the guy from BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, Jamie Barber but is really a Time Lady/Lord the Rani, and seen death galore in the future of Earth ruled by a bastard President who wants to become a devil god and cause the near end of the world using Ice Warriors and Fendelleen while also using people as food! It's fucked up! I, myself was on the Moon trapped as a rape victim or near rape victim, as a target for the President's hit men...but I found a Cyberman who was escaping...we relaxed a bit but the Doctor wants to go back in time and turn a tree back into what it was --a hunk called Luke Ward but first he has go to the year 8 billion on an elevator party ride and the year 11 billion to an abortion clinic to find out how! Luke's sexy as hell. I also loved having non stop sex with Jeremy, Adam, the Doc, who hates being called the Doc, on the Eye Or Orion and in the TARDIS where we relaxed for a bit...Check it all out in the Televison--Doctor Who section, and oh, it's very very very adult..."