blind love
folder
Singers/Bands/Musicians › HIM
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
9
Views:
3,098
Reviews:
48
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Singers/Bands/Musicians › HIM
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
9
Views:
3,098
Reviews:
48
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
blind love
Hey this is my new fic and I'm really nervous about it. This is a short chapter until i find out what people think, please review!!
Bam entered his room and flopped down on the bed, burrying his face in the pillows and letting out a scream of frustation.
Ville ahd been staying over at Bam's for the last two weeks before he headed back to Finland, and, as usual, they'd slept in the same bed; a habit grown from all the nights of getting too drunk and passing out then waking up in the morning next to each other.
This time though was different. Bam had gotten up in the night and on his way back from the bathroom he happened to glance at Ville who was still sleeping peacefully. His heart clenched almost painfully at the sight of the innocent looking man in his bed and he felt a sudden, unexpected urge to find out what Ville's pouty lips would feel like pressed aginst his own. The desire to do it was so strong that he'd taken a few steps towards the bed before he'd realized what he was about to do. Disgusted with himself, he'd spent the rest of the night sleeping in one of the spare rooms.
He'd thought he would be able to forget about it but it seemed his mind had decided that it liked the new direction it was taking and was determined to stay that way. It made the last couple of days with Ville difficult, trying to fight his new-found lust for his friend while pretending that nothing was wrong was draining. Ville acted like nothing was wrong the whole time even though it was obvious Bam was treating him differently.
Bam had just got back from taking Ville to the airport and although he was relieved he would have to fight off urges to jump Ville's body, he was also upset as he knew it could be months before they'd see each other again. He lay on his bed for hours, trying to analyze why he was suddenly having these feelings but in the end, he decided the headache it was causing wasn't worth it.
He sighed heavily, idly watching his screensaver, which happened to be screen shots from Haggard, the movie he'd directed. Finally he decided to get up and surf the net for a while to take his mind off things. He went to open up his internet but found it was already connected.
**Fucking Novak, why does he have to use my computer** He clicked onto his history, curiosity making him wonder what Novak had been looking at. It didn't come as a suprise to him when lesbian porn came up on the screen when he clicked on one of the links.
The adverts made him laugh though as he read the list on the side of the page. "Get a larger penis in two weeks" one read. "Bored, dirty housewives on webcam for your pleasure" read another.
His laughter died though as he found an advert for another website. It was a gay and lesbian personals site, where you could chat to others and hopefully find your perfect person. His mouse arrow hovered over the link before he took a deep breath and clicked. The screen popped up and Bam found himself looking at a picture of two guys making out. He tried hard not to imagine Ville and himself like that as he read the welcome note that informed him he couldn't look at people's profiles unless he signed up and created a free profile himself.
**Oh why not? I've come this far and it'll be funny to see if I get any messages.** He thought to himself, and he started filling out the form.
**Screen name?... oh I know!** He typed in 'all my friends are dead' , his favourite turbonegro song and added 'villevalo' as his password knowing he'd never forget it. He filled in all his details including all his favourite things but he hesitated when it asked for his real name. **I cant put my real name, what if some of the fans see this** He thought for a few moments before typing in 'Cole', knowing that most people wouldn't work out who he was from his middle name. He put in 'open minded' for his sexual orientation. He may have been on a gay and lesbian site but it didn't mean he had to admit to people all over the world what he was still denying to himself. He hesitated again before clicking on the link to submit his profile.
"Thank you, 'all my friends are dead' your profile has been accepted." Flashed up onto his screen and Bam laughed to himself as he shut down the computer and went out to skate.
He forgot all about the website until a few days later when he was watching a group of people of t.v debate whether or not homosexuality was a sin, which didn't make him feel any better about his current state of mind. He switched the television off and sat down on front of his computer, logging onto the website and his profile on it, nervously.
"Welcome, 'all my friends are dead' you have 10 new messages in your inbox." He gaped in suprise. He hadn't expected many messages, especially as he hadn't uploaded a photo. He quickly read through the messages. A lot of them were from pervy older men who wanted to know if he had a webcam or if he wanted to be their boytoy and meet them for sex. which he deleted quickly.
Some, though, seemed genuine guys that wanted to get to know him and he replied to them all, one of them catching his eye more than the others. It read: "Hi, I saw you were new and I thought I'd drop a note to say welcome. I love your screen name by the way, Turbonegro are a great band. One last thing, and please don't be offended, but in my experiance, people who say their open minded usually mean they're gay or bisexual but are too scared to admit it. Hope to hear form you soon."
The screen name given was 'hearts and daggers' and Bam read his profile before replying. He found out that the guys name was William, he was bisexual and that he moved around a lot. They had the same tastes in music and for some reason that made Bam feel more comfortable. He typed back his response slowly, making sure he thought through every word.
"Hey, thanks for the welcome. I'm glad there's someone on here that has decent taste in music. I don't recognize your screen name, should I? I'm not offended by your comment, just a little suprised at how blunt you were about telling me. I'm kinda the leader among my friends so I'm not used to people being that brutally honest with me. I'm not sure about my sexuality, I used to be but now it's just really confusing. I'll stop whining now and go."
He sent the message and browsed a couple of profiles, still feeling a little weird about it all. He jumped slightly when his inbox started to flash, indicating that he had a new message. He clicked on the link and found another message from 'hearts and daggers'
"I know what you mean. Most people are brain washed by the lame pop music in the charts and they don't bother looking for decent rock bands. My screen name is something I made up so don't worry that you don't recognize it! Sorry about being so blunt with you but it's not good to keep something like that repressed, believe me, I know. It's hard at first but it gets better. If you don't mind me asking, what happened to make you question yourself? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. If you wanna chat on msn, add me. heartsanddaggers@hotmail.com."
Bam opened up his msn page and added him before going back to worrying about how to reply. He didn't ahve to worry for long though as his instant messenger popped up.
love is death incarnate says: Hi, you got my message then!
Jackass extrodinaire says: Hi
love is death incarnate says: so are you gonna tell me what happened or are you gonna tell me to fuck off and mind my own business?
Jackass extrodinaire says: I might as well tell you, I can't tell anyone else and it's freaking me out
love is death incarnate says: I'm all ears (or eyes, whatever!)
Jackass extrodinaire says: I have this friend and he stays over when he's in town. We sleep in the same bed together cos we've passed out like that drunk so many times, we do it out of habit now I suppose. But the last time he stayed over, I oke up in the middle of the night and found myself thinking things about him that I shouldn't.
love is death incarnate says: You mean, sexually?
Jackass extrodinaire says: Yeah and it won't go away. I think it's affecting our friendship cos I was acting weird around him since it happened and he hasn't called me since he left a week ago.
love is death incarnate says: Does he have any idea?
Jackass extrodinaire says: I don't think so. I've always been straight as a ruler until that night
love is death incarnate says: Well, is he straight?
Jackass extrodinaire says: I'm pretty sure he's Bi as he's always kissing guys but I don't think he ever goes any further with them. Look, I have to go cos my friends are back, talk to you later?
love is death incarnate says: Ok, I'll talk to you soon and don't worry about your friend not calling you, I'm sure he's just been busy or something.
Jackass extrodinaire says: Yeah thanks.
Jackass extrodinaire appears to be offline
Bam shut down his computer and ran downstairs to see his friends, hoping that William was right and Ville would call him soon. What he didn't know however, was that on the other side of the world, on his laptop computer, he'd just left a stunned and shocked Ville staring at the conversation they'd just had.
Bam entered his room and flopped down on the bed, burrying his face in the pillows and letting out a scream of frustation.
Ville ahd been staying over at Bam's for the last two weeks before he headed back to Finland, and, as usual, they'd slept in the same bed; a habit grown from all the nights of getting too drunk and passing out then waking up in the morning next to each other.
This time though was different. Bam had gotten up in the night and on his way back from the bathroom he happened to glance at Ville who was still sleeping peacefully. His heart clenched almost painfully at the sight of the innocent looking man in his bed and he felt a sudden, unexpected urge to find out what Ville's pouty lips would feel like pressed aginst his own. The desire to do it was so strong that he'd taken a few steps towards the bed before he'd realized what he was about to do. Disgusted with himself, he'd spent the rest of the night sleeping in one of the spare rooms.
He'd thought he would be able to forget about it but it seemed his mind had decided that it liked the new direction it was taking and was determined to stay that way. It made the last couple of days with Ville difficult, trying to fight his new-found lust for his friend while pretending that nothing was wrong was draining. Ville acted like nothing was wrong the whole time even though it was obvious Bam was treating him differently.
Bam had just got back from taking Ville to the airport and although he was relieved he would have to fight off urges to jump Ville's body, he was also upset as he knew it could be months before they'd see each other again. He lay on his bed for hours, trying to analyze why he was suddenly having these feelings but in the end, he decided the headache it was causing wasn't worth it.
He sighed heavily, idly watching his screensaver, which happened to be screen shots from Haggard, the movie he'd directed. Finally he decided to get up and surf the net for a while to take his mind off things. He went to open up his internet but found it was already connected.
**Fucking Novak, why does he have to use my computer** He clicked onto his history, curiosity making him wonder what Novak had been looking at. It didn't come as a suprise to him when lesbian porn came up on the screen when he clicked on one of the links.
The adverts made him laugh though as he read the list on the side of the page. "Get a larger penis in two weeks" one read. "Bored, dirty housewives on webcam for your pleasure" read another.
His laughter died though as he found an advert for another website. It was a gay and lesbian personals site, where you could chat to others and hopefully find your perfect person. His mouse arrow hovered over the link before he took a deep breath and clicked. The screen popped up and Bam found himself looking at a picture of two guys making out. He tried hard not to imagine Ville and himself like that as he read the welcome note that informed him he couldn't look at people's profiles unless he signed up and created a free profile himself.
**Oh why not? I've come this far and it'll be funny to see if I get any messages.** He thought to himself, and he started filling out the form.
**Screen name?... oh I know!** He typed in 'all my friends are dead' , his favourite turbonegro song and added 'villevalo' as his password knowing he'd never forget it. He filled in all his details including all his favourite things but he hesitated when it asked for his real name. **I cant put my real name, what if some of the fans see this** He thought for a few moments before typing in 'Cole', knowing that most people wouldn't work out who he was from his middle name. He put in 'open minded' for his sexual orientation. He may have been on a gay and lesbian site but it didn't mean he had to admit to people all over the world what he was still denying to himself. He hesitated again before clicking on the link to submit his profile.
"Thank you, 'all my friends are dead' your profile has been accepted." Flashed up onto his screen and Bam laughed to himself as he shut down the computer and went out to skate.
He forgot all about the website until a few days later when he was watching a group of people of t.v debate whether or not homosexuality was a sin, which didn't make him feel any better about his current state of mind. He switched the television off and sat down on front of his computer, logging onto the website and his profile on it, nervously.
"Welcome, 'all my friends are dead' you have 10 new messages in your inbox." He gaped in suprise. He hadn't expected many messages, especially as he hadn't uploaded a photo. He quickly read through the messages. A lot of them were from pervy older men who wanted to know if he had a webcam or if he wanted to be their boytoy and meet them for sex. which he deleted quickly.
Some, though, seemed genuine guys that wanted to get to know him and he replied to them all, one of them catching his eye more than the others. It read: "Hi, I saw you were new and I thought I'd drop a note to say welcome. I love your screen name by the way, Turbonegro are a great band. One last thing, and please don't be offended, but in my experiance, people who say their open minded usually mean they're gay or bisexual but are too scared to admit it. Hope to hear form you soon."
The screen name given was 'hearts and daggers' and Bam read his profile before replying. He found out that the guys name was William, he was bisexual and that he moved around a lot. They had the same tastes in music and for some reason that made Bam feel more comfortable. He typed back his response slowly, making sure he thought through every word.
"Hey, thanks for the welcome. I'm glad there's someone on here that has decent taste in music. I don't recognize your screen name, should I? I'm not offended by your comment, just a little suprised at how blunt you were about telling me. I'm kinda the leader among my friends so I'm not used to people being that brutally honest with me. I'm not sure about my sexuality, I used to be but now it's just really confusing. I'll stop whining now and go."
He sent the message and browsed a couple of profiles, still feeling a little weird about it all. He jumped slightly when his inbox started to flash, indicating that he had a new message. He clicked on the link and found another message from 'hearts and daggers'
"I know what you mean. Most people are brain washed by the lame pop music in the charts and they don't bother looking for decent rock bands. My screen name is something I made up so don't worry that you don't recognize it! Sorry about being so blunt with you but it's not good to keep something like that repressed, believe me, I know. It's hard at first but it gets better. If you don't mind me asking, what happened to make you question yourself? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. If you wanna chat on msn, add me. heartsanddaggers@hotmail.com."
Bam opened up his msn page and added him before going back to worrying about how to reply. He didn't ahve to worry for long though as his instant messenger popped up.
love is death incarnate says: Hi, you got my message then!
Jackass extrodinaire says: Hi
love is death incarnate says: so are you gonna tell me what happened or are you gonna tell me to fuck off and mind my own business?
Jackass extrodinaire says: I might as well tell you, I can't tell anyone else and it's freaking me out
love is death incarnate says: I'm all ears (or eyes, whatever!)
Jackass extrodinaire says: I have this friend and he stays over when he's in town. We sleep in the same bed together cos we've passed out like that drunk so many times, we do it out of habit now I suppose. But the last time he stayed over, I oke up in the middle of the night and found myself thinking things about him that I shouldn't.
love is death incarnate says: You mean, sexually?
Jackass extrodinaire says: Yeah and it won't go away. I think it's affecting our friendship cos I was acting weird around him since it happened and he hasn't called me since he left a week ago.
love is death incarnate says: Does he have any idea?
Jackass extrodinaire says: I don't think so. I've always been straight as a ruler until that night
love is death incarnate says: Well, is he straight?
Jackass extrodinaire says: I'm pretty sure he's Bi as he's always kissing guys but I don't think he ever goes any further with them. Look, I have to go cos my friends are back, talk to you later?
love is death incarnate says: Ok, I'll talk to you soon and don't worry about your friend not calling you, I'm sure he's just been busy or something.
Jackass extrodinaire says: Yeah thanks.
Jackass extrodinaire appears to be offline
Bam shut down his computer and ran downstairs to see his friends, hoping that William was right and Ville would call him soon. What he didn't know however, was that on the other side of the world, on his laptop computer, he'd just left a stunned and shocked Ville staring at the conversation they'd just had.