greener grass

Her hair doesn’t smell sweet. It doesn’t smell like anything. Her skin isn’t feathers on my fingertips. It is just flesh. Her kiss doesn’t make my lips quiver or swell. As a matter of fact, I think my mouth just reacts to hers because of training. The sound of her voice doesn’t send shivers down my spine and our conversations are just to fill awkward silence.
She is my girlfriend. My Melanie. We have been together for nearly 2 years.
I don’t pretend to really love her and she doesn’t pretend that she’s clueless about that. We are together out of sheer convenience. I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life and neither does she. Yes, at 24 I am scared of spending my life alone.
It’s not that she’s a bad person. She’s very attractive and intelligent. There just isn’t that spark between us. Oh well. It halves the rent and I can always get laid.
She’s lying on the couch reading. The book is some cheesy inspirational novel. You know the type. Some girl has a terrible obstacle to surmount but still, she overcomes it and is so successful and she finds love in the arms of a very caring pussy whipped guy. It’s kind of funny that people like reading those things if you think about it. It just makes me feel guilty. I mean I’m a perfectly healthy guy who isn’t starving in the streets or anything crazy like that and I’ve never done anything all that incredible. I don’t know why people get off on books like that. That’s just the way Melanie is though.
It’s about 11 pm and we both have work in the morning so she’s all dressed down for bed. She’s wearing a pair of my boxers and a big t-shirt. The t-shirt has stains and the elastic on my boxers has frayed to the point of shabbiness. Her hair is up and still wet from when she took a shower. She has no makeup on so her slight acne is more visible. Her lips are pale and her eyes don’t stand out. All and all she’s just not desirable right now.
“Gerard.” she says, not even bothering to put her book down.
“Hmm?” I acknowledge her.
“When was the last time we made love?” she asks.
“I don’t know. A few weeks ago maybe.” I respond. I really don’t want to and it’s obvious that she does.
She puts her book down and walks over to me. She climbs into my lap and put her arms around my neck and kisses me lightly on the lips.
“Too long.” she says.
“We have to get up in the morning.” I say with disinterest, “Besides we don’t have any condoms.”
“Oh come on. Live a little. Let’s be irresponsible. Be a little tired at work. As for the condom situation I trust you enough not to have anything. You can pull out.” she kissed my neck and rubbed her hands along my sides. “I want you.”
“I’m tired anyway Melanie. Another night.” I say pushing her off of me. I get up and walk into the bedroom. I set my alarm and crash into bed.