Amnesia and Star Child

I was scared - shit - more than scared - I was plain terrified.
Leila was sitting next to me, watching as I rocked back and forth, not knowing that I was being flooded with those images and thoughts from places beyond anything that she knew.
Rosie was confused, not scared like me - but why the hell wouldn’t she come here and help me instead of sitting in a god damn tree watching me lose my mind?!
As I rocked, I was suddenly swept by something else - thoughts of a light riddled ship, something that one would think was a kind of cockroach without legs or a head - to describe it as best as I can. It’s surface was lined with countless lights, blue, pink, white, red, green, purple - some flashing at the rate of a relaxed heart beat, others flashing faster, while others not flashing at all, outlining the dark silhouette.
The ship, climbing gradually higher above what I was certain was Los Angeles city, began to turn, and all of a sudden it shot to the sky - speeding through the air so fast it became nothing more than a blur - and then - it was gone.
Leila spoke my name - bringing me back. I turned to her, and without even thinking, I leant over and hugged her, a feeling growing in my chest, building until suddenly it overwhelmed me. The urge to reproduce was dampened with another emotion - inconsolable loss.
I couldn’t hack it - my heart felt like it was breaking in half - and all of a sudden I was crying - bawling my eyes out like a fuckin’ baby.
I couldn’t think why I felt so miserable - I just felt like I lost something - something so important - so precious... And I didn’t know if it was ever coming back.
Leila cradled me in her arms for hours, rocking side to side slightly like she was pacifying an infant.
Hell - did I feel like one - blubbering like a wuss.
I calm down eventually, tears coming up dry.
I bury my nose into Leila’s shoulder and squeeze my eyes closed tightly and then open them again, taking deep breaths to settle it down.
Leila pulls away from the hug and traces her fingers over my hands.
“Are you alright?” She asks softly.
In that way of hers again, friendly and gentle - god that voice is pretty...
“Yeah - I... I - I’m fine. I guess...” I mutter - Leila just watches me searchingly.
“Sort of... No.” I admit at last, looking down at my hands.
She’s going to start probing me now...
We sit in silence for a while.
“Okay then. Mike, I’m going to be staying at the Inn down the road from here. Just ask for Leila Rosenwire at the desk and they’ll direct you through... Call or drop in if you want to talk or whatever...” Leila looks up at me with almost pleading eyes. “If it’s bad, for god’s sake don’t do anything stupid. Get help.”
She stands up and puts her hand on my shoulder again before leaving me.
I sit there, confused and uncertain.
“Rosie, get the fuck out of that tree.” I growl when Leila gets out of earshot.
There’s a muffled ‘thwump!’ as she lands, then a gentle loping of feet on the leaf litter.
“We’re going back.” I state firmly and get up; starting to walk back in the direction we had come.
I note the street name before we leave.