Liar (It Takes One to Know One)

Someone was lifting me off the ground. Two sets of arms were around me. I opened my eyes. It was so dark. I heard gravel crunching beneath our feet. Then I saw a tire out of the corner of my eye. Then another. Then I saw some steps that led up into a bus. I was inside it. I was on a bed. Something made a loud noise. Adam's death came flooding back into my mind. I started crying. I pulled away from the arms that were around me and screamed at them to leave me alone. I screamed for Adam.

"Dude, you should just send her home." Someone smacked someone. Hard.

"Fuck Gerard! What the fuck man?! Jesus!" Someone was walking away. Black.



I felt coldness on my face. I opened my eyes again. I was under the covers of Gerard's bed. He was sitting beside me wiping my face with a washcloth. He smiled down at me. I started crying softly when I saw him.

"I'm sorry," was all I could say. He shushed me quietly and shook his head. He wiped away my fresh tears and stroked my hair gently. I tried to calm down because I needed to know what exactly happened. I sat up and leaned against the headboard. I took the cloth from Gerard and pressed it to my swollen eyes.

"What happened? Is he..." I looked up at Gerard. He looked down. I knew. I started crying again. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. Gerard just held me. I pushed myself as far into his chest as I could and clung to him until it felt like my tears were all dried up. It must have been an hour or better. He rocked me softly back and forth and held me close; his hand on the back of my head, caressing my hair.

"Let's get some sleep, okay?" He finally said. I sat up and nodded, wiping my face with my hands and sniffling loudly. I got up and used the bathroom while Gerard straightened the bed up some. Mikey and Frank were sitting in the living room. When I came back out of the bathroom, I glanced at them to see a red handprint on the side of Frank's face. He looked over at me and immediately cut his eyes away from mine. I remembered hearing someone slapping someone else. Then I remembered the words I heard that accompanied the slap. I hated Frank at that moment, but decided not to confront him just then. I was too tired and exhausted anyway from all the crying. I just wanted to go to sleep and not dream. I went back into the bedroom and closed the door. Gerard was standing beside the bed taking his shirt off. I gasped aloud and then realized what I had done. Gerard looked over at me and I busied myself suddenly with smoothing the already smooth sheet over the bed. It was no time to be thinking sexual thoughts about Gerard. No matter how sexy he was, standing there unbuttoning his jeans and slipping them off to stand in nothing but his boxers before crawling on the bed and covering up. I looked down at what I had on. Jeans and a tank top. My pajama bottoms were dirty, so I decided I had no choice but to either sleep naked or in my tank top and panties. I sat down at the foot of the bed with my back to Gerard and slipped off my jeans. I turned to look at him over my left shoulder. He was on his right side with his head propped up on his hand. He was brazenly watching me and wasn't even trying to be discreet. I turned back around and pulled my socks off. Gerard may not have been shy about undressing in front of me, but I was definitely just the opposite. I reached up behind me and folded the blankets down some. Then I stood up really fast and jumped underneath them. I scooted down and bunched my pillows up under my head. I closed my eyes and sighed. It felt so good to lie down. But it was awkward to be in the same bed with Gerard, especially since we were as undressed as we were. Turning over onto my stomach, I slid my arms under my pillows and tried to get comfortable. I looked over at Gerard, who was facing me with his head resting on his folded elbow. He was looking at the window behind me. The dim moonlight glistened in his eyes. He blinked, and then I couldn't tell if he was still looking at the window or at me because it was so dark. But when he smiled, I knew he was looking at me. I smiled back.

"Goodnight," I said in a low, cracked whisper.

"Goodnight," he replied, closing his eyes and sighing. He turned over away from me. I glanced at the clock and saw it was 11:06pm. I hoped that sleep would come fast. I closed my eyes and relaxed. It wasn't long before I felt myself drifting off.



A tremendous noise jolted me from my sleep. I sat bolt upright in bed, alarmed and scared. It sounded like a loud roaring. I looked over at Gerard, who hadn't stirred at all. I suddenly felt the whole bus vibrating, and then rolling. I cursed at myself under my breath, realizing that we were leaving to head to the next venue like Gerard had told me earlier. He hadn't moved at all because he was probably used to it. I lay back down and pulled the covers up to my chest. It felt so weird to be lying down in a big bed inside a moving vehicle. It was a little like being on a docked boat when the tide came in; rocking and swaying; the boat working against the water. I almost felt seasick, but not. It was different. I turned over on my left side and tried getting comfortable enough to fall asleep again. Gerard turned over just then and was right in front of my face with his own. Seeing him asleep was like having an angel fall down from heaven in front of me. It was beautiful. His thick lashes were closed down over his eyes. His dark eyebrows relaxed and emotionless; his lips slightly parted. Some loose strands of his hair had fallen across the bridge of his perfect nose. I wanted to take a picture so I could remember it forever. I smiled at his innocence. Before I knew it, I had slipped into a dream.



Gerard and I were on a picnic in an old abandoned cemetery. We were sitting on a blanket sipping sweet tea and eating chicken salad sandwiches. It was bright and sunny and we were smiling at each other. Then suddenly, it became almost as dark as night, and ominous clouds began rolling in over us. Thunder rang out from the skies and cold wind whipped dead leaves and debris all around us. I looked down into my glass and saw the rippled reflection of Adam. I screamed and dropped the glass. It shattered and the pieces fell to the ground, forming the words "I'll kill you" on the blanket. I screamed in horror and looked over at Gerard. He was covered in blood and had a gun in his hand. It was pointed at me, and he raised it up to my face and cocked the hammer. Then his face changed into Adam's and he began to cackle wickedly. He pulled the trigger and everything went black.



I opened my eyes and looked around, a horrified look on my face. I was sweating and breathing hard, and fresh tears were soaking into my pillow. I looked over and saw Gerard watching me intently.

"Are you alright?" I wiped my forehead and nodded, sitting up and uncovering. I threw my legs over the edge of the bed and sighed. The clock showed 4:18am, and I realized we were still on the road. Gerard sat up and scooted over to me and rubbed my back. I turned to look at him briefly and then turned back and leaned forward to rest my elbows on my knees. "Bad dream again?" Gerard asked softly.

"Yes," I said, my voice disconnected and raspy. It didn't even sound like me. I let out a loud, deep sigh and swung my legs back up onto the bed and lay back again. Gerard lay down too and beckoned for me to come closer to him. He opened his arms and I scooted over to him, pressing my back into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and gently caressed my arm with his left hand. He lay his head down on mine and kissed the top of my ear. It made me shiver, but not in a bad way. I lifted my left hand up behind me and cupped his left cheek, stroking it with my thumb. He turned his face into my palm and kissed it. I turned in his arms to face him and kissed him unabashedly. I wrapped myself around him as he held on tight to me. We drifted off to sleep again, wrapped up in each other. Thankfully, I didn't dream anymore that night.