Track 02 - Cassis

WARNINGS: Minor arguments, minor coarse language, sexual references

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Mika couldn't get Ruki to talk. He'd blamed his 'snappiness' on missing her, to which Mika whinged about why it was her fault. All Ruki had to say was that it wasn't her fault; he just went through a 'childish' phase at the wrong moment. Mika didn't know what on earth he was talking about and just decided to give up. She then offered to help Ruki with the dishes but he ordered her to go and relax - in a fake serious tone, of course. She ended up grumbling to herself as she walked back to the lounge area, leaving Ruki to finish cleaning up. Standing just outside the kitchen doorway, Mika placed her hands on her hips and puffed her cheeks out ... she didn't know what to do until Ruki was done. Finally she just decided to examine Ruki's 'Entertainment Cabinet', which was a tall CD and DVD cabinet that stood beside the TV.

Standing at least a meter tall and with a single glass panel for the door, it was clearly visible that the thing was almost full. Mika kneeled down and sat on her legs after opening the door, and then slowly browsing over the contents - for movies he had a few Dramas, Classics, Theatrical, Horror, Sci-Fi and more. In the music column - practically every Luna Sea CD there was, or from what Mika could see; she wasn't sure. There was also a couple of other bands that she'd never heard of and didn't want to try pronouncing their names. Also, in it's own separate column, was all of Gazette's current CD's and DVD's to date ... even a couple from before they signed to PS Company. Mika hesitated as she reached over to pull out one of the bands Matina Label CD's - in looking at the back she realised it was their very first CD 'Wakaremichi' because the release date was April 2002.

"Our first single ... I can still remember that day".

Mika jumped when she heard Ruki's voice, and she also dropped the CD case too. It clattered to the floor in front of her and the cover flipped open; luckily the CD hadn't fallen out. Mika looked surprised up at Ruki who was standing just behind her and looking over her shoulder. She noticed he'd finally taken his thick black jacket off, revealing the tight long sleeve black shirt ... that was doing a good job of defining the toned shape of his body. Mika blushed as he crouched down and picked up the CD case to take the CD out - underneath the CD on the inside back cover was a photo of the group then ... minus Kai, plus Yune. Ruki stuck his finger through the hole of the CD and held it up to Mika.

"Did you want to listen to it?"

Mika smiled and shook her head.

"No it's okay ... I like the song, but I feel sad when I hear it."

"Hmm? How come?"

"Because you once said that if the band ever broke up, that'd be the very last song you'd play together ... I hate the thought of that happening, so it makes me sad each time I hear it".

Ruki nodded in understanding as he put the CD back into its case, closing it again. While staring at the front cover, he thought about back when the group had talked out what would happen if they did split.

"You know Mika ... it's great that you, your friends and our fans admire us that much ... but it'll have to end sooner or later. The Gazette won't be around forever, things change ... I hope you understand that".

"Yeah I know things change, but for now I'd like to remain ignorant of that fact. I'd just like to imagine that the Gazette would be around for a very long time ..."

Mika and her friends had that discussion when they first heard about Gazette's plans in the bonus footage for Nameless Liberty. Yes it was childish to think that the band would never break-up, but that was fine for them. Even Ruki and his band mates hated to admit it but eventually, there would be a time when they mutually decided enough was enough. It was heart breaking to think about. Ruki brushed his thumb one last time over the front cover before slipping it back into the cabinet.

"Well I can't stop you from thinking that ... but promise me you will accept it gracefully when the time comes. I'm not saying the band is splitting up now ... it could be five years, it could be ten years ... all I'm saying is be prepared".

Mika looked miserably at the floor and again started tangling her fingers anxiously. Ruki was right of course ... much as she hated to think about it. She nodded sadly.

"I know ... but lets not talk about it anymore, okay?"

"Alright ... and hey, even if we do split, that doesn't mean we won't stay friends. We'd still see each other-"

"But what if the reason you guys break up is because you have a fight?!"

That last comment from Mika came out as almost a shout because it was that much of a distressing subject for her. Ruki looked a little surprised at first but changed to a little smile.

"You've seen us all together in practice and away from the stage ... what do you think?"

Mika let out a long sigh and swallowed hard before looking back at the floor again - just because they were all fine with each other now didn't mean that in five or ten years, as Ruki had put it, that things would be the same. Finally Mika decided she had to stop worrying so much - things happened for a reason and there wasn't much that could be done about it. She looked up, took a deep breath and let it out slowly before smiling at Ruki.

"Okay ... once again your right. Ruki, I don't know how you put up with my constant sulking".

Ruki laughed, glad that she finally understood.

"Well ... it's part of you, and I love you for who you are".

Mika smiled warmly at him as he stroked her cheek softly with his thumb. Then she turned back to the cabinet and dragged her finger down the column of the bands concert DVD's. She stopped when she found the one she was looking for and held it up in front of her face so she was peering over the top - it was their very first concert 'Judgement Day'. Ruki raised both eyebrows.

"No way in fucking hell are we watching that!"

"Aww come on Ruki, if you let me watch this then I'll feel better. And remember you said you hate it when I'm sad!"

"I can think of many other ways to make you feel better than to watch that".

Mika had to lift the DVD case up a bit higher to hide her face completely because she was blushing. Then she decided to make fake crying sounds while hiding. Ruki hung his head and sighed in frustration before snatching the case from Mika and standing up.

"Alright we'll watch it ... go sit down".

"YAY!"

Mika squeaked before scrambling over to the sofa and crawling up to sit in the very middle, so the TV was directly in front of her. She brought her feet up into the sofa so her knees where against her chest, then hugging her knees while she eagerly waited for Ruki to set the DVD player. He'd already turned the TV on and slotted the disc into the player while effortlessly flicking through screens to find the video channel. By the time he found it, the screen was already a few seconds into the opening and he heard an excited giggle from Mika. With a little groan of embarrassment he let the TV remote slip from his hand onto the coffee table with a clunk before shuffling over to slump onto the sofa beside Mika. She reached up to his shoulders and pulled him back so her shoulder was stuck between him and the back of the sofa.

"Come on smile, its not that bad!"

She wrapped her arms around his arm and snuggled close to him while resting her head on his shoulder. Ruki forced a laugh and rested his head against hers.

"You're talking to the person who is about to watch himself on stage ..."

"Then why do you keep copies of them?"

Ruki instantly shut his mouth after that question - he kept them because in his spare time he liked to look back on how much the band had grown. But keeping that thought to himself, Mika just assumed she'd won and smiled as she went back to focusing on the concert. It was after only the first song that Ruki couldn't stand watching much more - the way he acted on stage back then ... it was only just over two and a half years ago. You can imagine how embarrassed he felt ... but he and the other guys were quick learners, so it hadn't taken them long to get their on-stage character right. And then halfway through the concert Ruki really needed a smoke. Mika pouted when he stood up.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Smoke-break ... your making me jealous that you're watching me on the scene".

"What do you mean jealous?!"

She heard a little chuckle from Ruki as he scooped up his cigarette pack from the little table by the backdoor that had his answering machine sitting on it. While he slid one of the glass doors aside to go out onto the veranda, Mika leaned forward to fetch the player remote. Pressing pause in the middle of 'The Murder's TV', she stumbled off the sofa and ran to join him. He hadn't sat down but was staring out over the tops of the other houses, apartments and streets. While absentmindedly tapping the butt of his cigarette against the pack to make sure the tobacco was packed in tightly, Mika opened the glass door slightly and shivered at the chilly air.

"Ruki aren't you cold out here?"

He glanced over his shoulder and smiled, shaking his head.

"No, I won't be long. Don't come out, it looks like it's about to snow again".

Even though Ruki's veranda was undercover it was still freezing when it snowed. As Ruki pressed the cigarette to his lips and cupped the lighter over the end to light it, he suddenly felt two arms slither around his waist and a warm body press against his back. Mika snuggled into his back with her eyes closed, noticing for the first time how broad his back and shoulders were, while also sneakily tracing her fingers over the definition of his chest and stomach. Ruki smiled to himself as he kept looking straight ahead, taking a short puff of his cigarette.

"Are you feeling me up?"

He asked in such a seductive tone that Mika suddenly realised what she was doing - sure she'd started off by tracing her fingers over his chest but then she'd somehow managed to find her hands up underneath Ruki's tight shirt. Her hands were placed flat against his body, one over his stomach, and the other over his chest. Mika was glad she was hidden behind Ruki because her face was over-heating and she bit her bottom lip sheepishly. What had gotten into her? How had she not realised and ended up with her hands exploring Ruki's body underneath his shirt?

"U-um ... I'm sorry, I didn't realise ... I-I ..."

Mika went to pull her hands away until she felt Ruki grip them with both of his hands.

"Hmm ... you don't have to stop".

That last comment sounded odd because he was talking with the cigarette stuck in the corner of his mouth. Ruki dropped his hands, pushed one into his jeans pocket while the other pinched the cigarette and took it from his mouth so he could blow a stream of smoke out. Mika paused, still snuggling against his back and with her hands still up under his shirt, thinking too much about what she could possibly be thinking. Here she'd asked Ruki to let her think about giving in to him, and yet there she was giving him reason to think she'd already made up her mind - which Mika hadn't but that wasn't the impression she was giving. Mika considered taking her hands away but to be honest, she really didn't want to. His skin was so smooth and warm, plus she liked the feel of the muscle in his chest.

"You know ... I've never done something like this before, to any of my ex-boyfriends. Probably because I've never actually thought about sexual intimacy before. But then again, my last boyfriend was in Junior High so I wasn't keen on the idea of sex when only fifteen ..."

Ruki made an 'hmm' sound, to show he was listening to her, plus he was in the middle of drawing back on his cigarette. Mika had thought about telling him of the belief she'd had drummed into her by her father, but he'd promised her he wouldn't do anything until she said so. So for the time being Mika just wanted to let things go and see how things went between them. Meanwhile in Ruki's thoughts, he understood what she was saying - for her growing up had been relatively easy until she hit the mid-teens and guys started noticing her. Then came the 'peer pressure' ... Ruki knew.

"Mika, you don't have to debate with yourself over something like sex. If your not comfortable, just say 'no'. Just because your Junior High friends were out there doing it ... don't think you should have too. I'm more than happy to give you time to think ... as long as you don't tease me".

Mika made a soft 'eep' sound and clenched her fists under Ruki's shirt, which made him laugh. Again she was openly expressing her worries with Ruki and again he managed to persuade her everything was okay. It was actually starting to concern her that he might get fed up with her constant fretting, but she liked the communication between them ... she was even starting to get used to his outspokenness in sensitive subjects. Finally Ruki butt-out his cigarette and gripped the clenched hands under his shirt.

"Come on, let's go back and humiliate me ..."

Mika smiled against Ruki's back and slipped her hands away from him so she could turn and open the sliding glass door. While she hurried back to the sofa, savouring the warm change from the icy afternoon air, Ruki shuffled along behind her - he just couldn't wait to continue watching himself jump all over the stage like a maniac. Mika was already nestled in the centre of the sofa in the position she was before when he finally joined her, slumping against the back again. Just as Mika went to press the play button, Mitsu suddenly jumped up from his little basket and sprinted over to them where he jumped up to settle down on the other side of Mika. He must have got a blast of the cold air when Ruki and Mika came back inside. Mika quickly pressed the play button and while Ruki took the remote off her to sit it beside him he then wrapped an arm around Mika's knees. Mika rested her head on his shoulder again but this time she draped an arm gently over Mitsu who cuddled up as close as possible to her. They were certainly settled in for the rest of the concert.

* * *
Mika yawned wide and long ... it was getting late. Once 'Judgement Day' had finished she'd successfully persuaded Ruki to then watch 'Heiseibanka', followed by 'M.R.D' and then finally the 'Peace & Smile Carnival Tour Finale'. With a little break in between for dinner. It was now getting close to midnight and even though Ruki was still quite awake, Mika was beginning to feel the on-set of sleep. Even Mitsu had settled down for the night in his basket and was now buried warmly under his blanket. By the time the credits for the Carnival Finale started to scroll, Ruki could feel Mika's head getting heavier on his shoulder. He picked up the remote and pressed the stop button before pressing the power buttons for the player and the TV. The room was silent and Ruki turned to look down at Mika.

"Hey ... I think it's your bedtime".

"Hmm? ... No I'm awake ..."

Mika mumbled sleepily as she cuddled against his arm. Ruki wasn't convinced.

"Come on, your going to bed".

He moved over slightly so he could reach over and prop Mika up with his hands, so he could actually stand up. And seeing she was already in a curled up position - although sitting up - he curled one arm around the back of her knees and the other around her back so he was carrying her bridal-style. She made a little sound in protest, like she was wondering why all of a sudden she was floating. Ruki didn't have much trouble carrying her through to his bedroom because she was so light. Kneeling carefully on the edge of his mattress Ruki lay her down on one side of the bed. As he straightened up again Mika reached up with both hands to rub her face before looking sleepily at him.

"Where am I?"

Ruki turned on his little bed-side lamp, smiling down at her, hand on his knees to prop himself up.

"Your at my apartment on my bed. I'll have the sofa".

Mika frowned as he moved to stand up again. But before he could walk away Mika grabbed the leg of his pants, which startled him a little.

"Wait, no! I'd feel guilty for kicking you out of your own room!"

"Well your not having the sofa, it's damn uncomfortable to sleep on".

"Then stay here with me!"

Mika tightened her grip on his pants. Ruki didn't know why but she looked almost panicked ... like if he didn't sleep next to her, she'd wake up in the middle of the night ... and think everything had been a dream? Ruki bent down to take her hand and then sat on the edge of the mattress.

"Alright I'll stay if you want me too. Now calm down, you look like your about to cry".

He stroked his hand over his cheek a couple of times to try and settle her down. He'd never seen any girl act like this towards him, let alone anywhere near him. He was starting to think he had a bad effect on people. Mika took a deep breath and let it out again shakily. When she'd settled down to normal breathing Ruki gave a little nod.

"Okay that's better, you had me worried there. Why did you seem panicked all of a sudden?"

"I don't know ... I guess I just got used to you being so close to me all afternoon that I didn't like the thought of sleeping on my own. Which sounds stupid seeing I sleep perfectly fine at home".

Ruki watched her for a second, smiled to himself and stood up.

"I'm going to go wash my face and change. If you don't want me watching you change into your pyjama's I suggest you do that while I'm in the bathroom".

Mika bit her bottom lip sheepishly and turned her gaze away from him, blushing slightly. Ruki again smiled before standing up again and finally being able to walk more than a foot away from the bed. Before heading to the bathroom, however, he stopped at his wardrobe to find something to change into for sleeping. Sliding the door aside he kneeled down to a large chest of draws and in pulling the bottom draw out he took a couple of items that Mika couldn't see what they were. He then stood up, pushed the draw closed with his foot and slid the door shut as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door loosely. Mika was still lying on Ruki's bed, propped up on one elbow and staring after him. When he'd shut the door Mika decided she'd better do what Ruki suggested.

She slowly stood up off the mattress and silently walked over to her bag. The cover wasn't zipped seeing she'd already been into it so she threw the cover back and dug around for her PJ's. Finding them right on the bottom Mika pulled them out and turned to walk back to the bed. It was then she stopped and took a moment to glance around Ruki's bedroom - it was more ... 'empty' then hers. She has the fluffy pink rub on her floor, tons of photo-booth stickers pinned everywhere, photos on her walls. Where as Ruki just had his double mattress on the floor, a TV at the foot of the bed, a bedside lamp, a stack of magazines on the other side of the bed and propped up in its cradle in the corner was Ruki's electric guitar. She recognised it as the one he used in 'Cassis' - bright red and glimmering in the light of the lamp.

Mika glanced back quickly at the bathroom door when she heard running water and then looked back at the guitar. Mika dropped her PJ's on the bed and quickly undressed down to her panties, then just as quickly dressing in her pink leopard print bottoms and the black top with pink heart on the front. Then throwing her clothes basketball style into her bag she stepped across the mattress to reach the guitar. Running a finger down the strings softly, it made a faint scratching sound - bitting her bottom lip again Mika gripped the fingerboard firmly in both hands and carefully picked it up. It was heavy! Being very careful she carried it onto the mattress and sat down on her knees where she laid the guitar in her lap to examine it in the light.

Mika was so fixated with looking at the detail she didn't hear Ruki coming back.

"Oh you found it".

Again Mika jumped for the second time that day. When she glanced up at Ruki she struggled to hold back a smile at what he was wearing - it looked like a soccer uniform of shorts that went halfway up his thigh and a short-sleeve t-shirt in a v-neck. It was white and the shirt had blue straights going straight up and down, also with a soccer-ball logo on the left side of his chest. She was also amused that he actually had great legs - even to rival Uruha. Ruki looked down at his clothes when he realised Mika was looking him up and down.

"Shut-up, this is what I normally wear".

"What, I didn't say anything!"

Mika giggled as Ruki dropped to his knees on the mattress, then shifted to lie down on his side propped up on one elbow. He held the other hand out for his guitar.

"Here, give me that and go wash up".

Mika straight handed the guitar to Ruki and then stepped over him - he smelled like a mixture of mint, soap and ... vanilla? As Mika aimed for the bathroom, she took a detour to her back, snatched up her toiletries bag on the way past and then disappeared into the bathroom. While she quickly brushed her teeth she could hear the faint twanging sound of guitar strings - he must be playing. Then following her teeth Mika washed her face to remove the light make-up she wore. With a finally brushing of the hair she stuffed her toiletries back into the bag and rushed back out. While going back to her bag to tidy the clothes and put her toiletries away she noticed Ruki was sitting up against the wall on his bed, legs stretched out. The guitar perched in his lap; he was strumming a few quick notes that she didn't recognise. A new song maybe?

"Hey, what are you playing?"

Ruki looked up just as Mika plopped down on the bed and crossed her legs underneath her. He smiled and went back to playing the unfamiliar song.

"Just something I'm writing ... we've already started working on the new album".

"Oh really, what's going to be in it?"

Ruki reached over and softly poked Mika's nose.

"I'm not telling you anything. You and your friends insisted you wanted to wait just like the rest of our fans, so I'm going to stop playing now".

Mika puffed out her cheeks and growled - yet again Ruki was right. They had insisted on waiting just like everyone else and it was going to stay that way - it was only fair, even if the girls had close relationships with the guys. Mika crawled over to cuddled up beside Ruki.

"Well if your not going to let me hear any of the new songs on the album, then will you make up something for me?"

Ruki listened to her, his hands still in the playing position but not moving. She wants me to make up a song for her ... he thought, wondering what to play. Sure he had a bad habit of snatching Aoi or Uruha's guitar during practices and making up stupid songs but he'd never actually had to make up a song on the spot that had any meaning. He was silent for a while that Mika wondered if she'd said something wrong. Just as she opened her mouth to apologise, she then heard a soft tune being played. Mika looked at his face while he played - he looked to be thinking very hard because his playing came out slowly and he was frowning a little. Mika began to wonder ... was he thinking hard and putting a lot of effort to play a nice song just for her?

She couldn't think of the right words to describe the tune - if you put colours to it, you'd see some happy shades like yellow and red, but it also sounded sad, like shades of blue and purple. He was also humming a little while frowning, as if trying to find some words to put to the tune. While Mika turned to watch his hands, she suddenly heard him singing softly in Japanese. The words were talking about falling in love in dreams, never wanting to wake up from the dreams, until finally those dreams became a reality but always afraid it never happened. It was almost like he was telling a story about them meeting, and that he was the one afraid it was too good to be true.

Mika turned back to watch his face just as he stopped playing. He slid his fingers down and up the fingerboard once before laying the guitar in his lap, then turning to look at Mika.

"I'm sorry, I hope that didn't sound too depressing. It would've been better played on an acoustic".

"No it's okay ... I liked it a lot".

Ruki gave her a little smile and a content nod before standing up to carry the guitar back to its cradle. Mika stayed where she was as she watched him go and then come back, trudging across the mattress and then pushing the covers back with his feet. Mika did the same with her feet as Ruki sat down, and then they both pulled the covers up. Mika then flopped down onto the pillow, rolling on her side to look up at Ruki. He made a short laugh as she curled up into a ball, closed her eyes and then after a couple of seconds, squinted through one eye at him. Still sitting up Ruki reached over to softly comb his fingers through her hair. She liked the feel of it; it was comforting. Then Mika opened her eyes completely.

"Hey, what are we going to do tomorrow? Any ideas?"

"Hmm? Well we can do whatever you like. We could continue you teasing me on TV? I can also show you the photos from the first half of our Tour ... seeing you made me promise to take them."

Mika grinned at the idea of looking at the photos - she'd almost forgotten about them, so she definitely wanted to do that. Ruki nodded with a smile again before sliding down to lie on his side facing her. It sounded silly but she liked how his hair fanned out on the pillow - it looked so much longer when not styled, too.

"And ... you can decide. I thought just before ... if you'd like to go to Uruha's party tomorrow night, and then we'll go. I don't care either way as long as you get to stay with me until your parents come back. If you weren't able to stay with me over New Years break I probably would have gone anyway".

"Oh now I feel guilty for stopping you from going!"

"Well I would have been on my own anyway. It would have been Uruha and Kikyo, Aoi and Ai, Kai and Megumi, Ruki and no-one ... that doesn't sound very exciting, does it?"

Mika giggled and shook her head, then shifting closer so she was mere centimetres from him.

"No I guess not. Well let's see what happens tomorrow, then you can let Uruha-kun know in plenty of time."

Ruki nodded in agreement and then had to cover his mouth as he yawned widely, letting out a little noise as he did so. Then without warning he lifted himself up on one elbow, reached over Mika so he was almost lying on top of her, and he turned out the bedside lamp. Mika was a little startled when he did that because he was so close to her and she could smell even more the scents of mint, soap and vanilla. She paid thanks to the darkness of the room because her face felt very hot, and her initial reaction was to place her hands gently on his shoulders. After Ruki had turned the light off and felt Mika's hands on his shoulders, even in the darkness he knew his face was only millimetres from hers.

"Can I kiss you goodnight?"

He asked quietly, bringing his hand back over to stroke her cheek softly. Not even needing to think about it or even respond, Mika lifted her head up to meet Ruki's lips for a sweet kiss. Ruki immediately deepened the kiss a little as he brushed his hand down her side to wrap around her waist. Mika moved her arms so they came to rest loosely around his shoulders. Mika felt his tongue sweep across her bottom lip and she parted her lips willingly; again their tongues danced together. But not wanting to get too carried away, Ruki didn't let the kiss go for too long. After all this was the first time she was alone with him, and in the dark ... he didn't want to move things too quickly. So with a few small kisses to her lips, he lay back down on his side but kept his arm around her. Mika couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that he stopped but as they had discussed, nothing too sexual just yet. Mika cuddled up close to Ruki so their foreheads were actually touching slightly, with one hand placed against his chest. She liked this feeling ... of getting to sleep next to Ruki, but on the other hand she also felt a bit guilty for his fans - right now they were probably dreaming of him but here she was in his arms.

Well ...

... okay, maybe she didn't feel that guilty after all ...

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NOTES:
1) Ruki's CDs: The very first song Ruki copied was a Luna Sea song. And because he's influences by them, it's assumed he liked the band
2) Matina: This was Gazette's first recording label before they signed to PSC. Their 'Wakaremichi' single was produced by Matina
3) Yune: For those who know their onions, Yune was the original Gazette drummer. But he was replaced by Kai shortly after
4) 'Wakaremichi': Literally means 'Parting Roads' - the guys have said if they mutually split, this was the last song they'd play
5) Ruki's guitar: As people have seen, his guitar looks quite big next to him ... but with Mika being more petite, it would almost be as big as her
6) Ruki's PJ's: In an interview, he said his prefered PJ's were his old soccar uniform

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