Snowstorm

Snowstorm
Part Eleven


The shrill sound of the phone's abrupt ring seemed to yank him back to reality. I saw his eyes shift expression as he moved away from me and headed towards the living room. My heart was pounding so loudly within my chest it was a wonder it didn't drown out the sound of the phone!

Who was calling? I wondered, shoving my hair away from my face. Probably his agent, I thought ruefully, and, with shaking hands, continued with the chore of setting the water to heat. I could hear his voice, but not the words he was speaking into the phone. I really didn't care who it was, only what they'd nearly interrupted. I was nearly through when I felt his presence behind me.

"Beth," Alan said, and I turned about, my hands still damp and soapy, "We...we need to talk."

I nodded. I didn't trust my voice. Frankly, I didn't trust any part of myself around him. I seemed to have the habit of losing control of my senses where he was concerned. "Come and sit down on the couch with me..." After a moment I followed him into the living room and sat down next to him on the sofa.

My fingers traced the floral print as I waited for him to speak. It seemed to take forever. "Beth..." he said my name with a sigh that left a cold spot in my chest. I knew what was coming. I just knew it. I knew and I didn't want to hear. He turned to me and looked at me and I saw that this was as difficult for him to say to me as it was for me to listen to. "Last night... and...and what just happened between us..."

"Nothing happened, Alan..." I protested, recalling the damned phone. He cut me off though, before I could finish my sentence.

"Something nearly happened, Beth," he said, grasping my shoulders suddenly and looking at me with such intensity I was taken slightly aback, "It cannot happen again. Do you understand me? This...this situation should never have come about!"

"Are you blaming me?" I asked, hurt.

"Of course not!" he said, and released me so fast that I might have been offended. As it was, I was merely confused, "I...It was a mistake, Beth...I'm sorry...I should have....I don't know...dammit! Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what, Alan?!" I cried, and blinked back my tears, "How the fuck am I suppose to look?! You're confusing the hell out of me, you know!"

"Beth, that's ridi....what?" The sudden change in his expression was almost laughable and I nearly smiled, but I was too angry at the moment to even twitch my lips in that direction, "What are you talking about?"

"One minute you're kissing me," I cried, "And the next your telling me it was all a mistake?! Are you serious?"

"Beth..."

"No! Don't you Beth me!" I screamed, I was livid and my hands clenched into fists at my sides, "Don't you dare try to turn this around on me! What happened between us last night was fucking beautiful! And it was not a mistake! So, don't you even think such a thing again! And..." I added, while I had the floor. He was looking at me as if I were a bomb that he had to defuse before I completely exploded. A bit late for that, I thought, "Don't tell me that it can't happen again when you're the one pressing me against the wall with your tongue in my mouth! How am I supposed to react to that? Huh? Tell me!"

"You have every right to be upset..." he said, and reached out briefly only to clasp his hands back in his lap and continue, "I'm sorry."

"Don't." I said, turning away from him. I raised my fingers to my brow. The mark on my head from when I'd fallen against the doorjamb upon my arrival was aching and the stress headache I'd developed was worsening, "Don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. Who was on the phone?" I know I was being nosey, but I didn't care. I thought that we were passed the point when I should mind my own business. After all, we've both been pretty much into each other's most private business all ready.

"Rima," he said without hesitation, though I could sense something akin to fear in his tone. Was he afraid that I'd say something to her? Or was he afraid of her finding me hear at all?

"She's flying here in a few days. She has some time off and wants to spend the remainder with me."

"Do you think that's safe, Alan...?" I asked, "The roads..."

"...Should be clear enough by then," he said, "Though, of course I tried to talk her into just staying home...but, she's...well, she can be a bit stubborn at times..."

"Oh," I said, I really didn't know what else to say, "I see..."

"You must have known we couldn't..." Alan tried and I shook my head, "You said yourself that it was only for one night."

"I know," I said, and felt horrible for my recent outburst. Of course I knew it couldn't last. I knew that! I just didn't expect... I sniffed and swiped my hand across my nose. I guess I didn't expect it to end so soon. I turned back to him and said, softly, "I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'm sorry. And...and thank you..."

Alan nodded a bit and took my hand, rubbing his thumb across my palm for a moment, "You're right you know," he said and smiled, "It wasn't a mistake. And I should be thanking you."

"I suppose you want me gone before your...before Rima shows up," I said, making no attempt to take my hand from his, "She's sure to ask...I mean...what do want me to...?"

"She knows about you, Beth," he said and reached out with his free hand to move my hair back away from my face. My expression and sudden intake of breath caused him to laugh and add, quickly, "No...no....she doesn't know about... She knows about the....the accident, Beth, and why you're here."