I Can't Look At You Anymore

*****GERARD'S P.O.V*****

I woke up the next morning with Mikey's arms wrapped firmly around me.

This is so wrong.

I tried to peel his arms off me without waking him up.

He stirred.

"Hey beautiful" He smiled up at me.

"Mikey you need to get dressed and get out of here"

"Why? Is Gran here?"

"No, I want you to get out. What you did last night was way over the line."

"What? But Gee I.."

"Mikey I called for you to stop and you didn't."

"What?"

"Don't fuck around Mikey it was not cool"

"Gerard I would never I just didn't hear you."

I wasn't listening, I didn't want to hear it. He was pushing me too far lately, not listening to the things I was saying and then last night.

"Gerard I'm sorry" He said leaning in to kiss me.

I jumped out of bed and walked out of the room.

I walked to the bathroom and tuned the hot water on.

I wanted to be with Mikey but the bad out-weighed the good.

I couldn't see how Mikey and I together could be good.

But oh how I wanted him.

I tried to scrub the want right out of my body.

I wrapped the towel around me and went downstairs to get some clothes off the line.

I couldn't risk seeing Mikey still waiting in my bed.

I had to avoid my brother as much as possible to avoid the temptation.

He'd probably hate me for it but I had to.

"Gerard?" I jumped in my skin, he was right behind me.

"I didn't realize that I hurt you last night."

I just shook my head and walked past him, he grabbed my wrist.

"Gerard?"

"Mikey let go." I said firmly

He dropped my wrist reluctantly.

"I won't give up on you, Gerard."

I just pretended I didn't hear it and kept walking till I reached my room.

I locked the door and ripped the sheets off of my bed and threw them on the floor.

I sat on the edge of my bed and put my hands in my head.

Where had it all gone wrong?

Where was the way out from here?

The way out without hurting my baby brother?

Without letting him hurt me in the mean time?