Tea & Biscuits

Alan pulled away from her, his breath coming in short gasps as he looked at her, his face set. He stood up and turned the television off before coming back to join her on the couch.

He took her hands in his before speaking.

'Beth... before we go any further there is something you need to know, because if its going to be an issue we had better stop now'.

Beth's heart was pounding in her ears, her head still dizzy from the kiss. She wanted to kiss him again, forget about talking. She felt like a thirsty person being denied water and tried to pull him back to her, to assuage the fire burning between her legs.

Laughing, Alan kissed her quickly on he lips before pushing her firmly away.

'I am trying to be serious!' he laughed again at her pouting at him.

'But it was so nice...' Beth whined at him, giggling and trying to tickle him 'and I don't want to be serious, I want to snog you!' She laughed at herself and he joined in.

Once she had stopped laughing he tried again, avoiding the playful look in her eye.

'Beth, I want to kiss you too, really...it was...amazing ' he sighed. 'But we need to know what we are doing here, for two reasons. First of all, because of what you have been through. We can't pretend it hasn't happened and we don't know what issues may come up for you if we...erm...'he was blushing slightly 'try to take things further'

'And the second thing?' there was annoyance in her voice.

She had been having a lovely time and suddenly her being raped was getting in the way of her life again, like a spectre haunting her. But what really annoyed her was that she knew he was right.

Alan took a deep breath.

'The second thing is...Beth...' he lifted her hand and started to kiss it, looking her in the eye ' the second thing is that I am in love with you and if we continue to kiss... I will want to make love to you. And neither of us knows if you are ready for that yet'.

Beth looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears which she wiped away in frustration, and she started to cry. Alan pulled her to him, kissing the top of her head.

'It's OK, Beth... I understand. There are some things that have to happen in their own time and this is probably one of them. Sometime, hopefully soon, someone will come along and you will be able to put the past behind you and move on....'

Beth laughed slowly into his shirt and looked at him, wiping her eyes with the edge of the blanket.

'You idiot!' she laughed at him quietly.

'What?' Alan was shocked. What had he said?

'You always put things into such pretty speeches ...it must be the actor in you' she was smiling gently at him. 'and anyway, it doesn't matter if someone comes along, sometime soon. I'm in love with someone already, actually....'

Beth was teasing him but he hadn't noticed and he felt as if someone had poured cold water over him. He pulled away and stood by the fire with his back to her, warming his hands, tears pricking the insides of his eyelids and he squeezed them shut. 'I am making a fool of myself' he thought.

Beth stood up and went to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head against his back. She had forgone her bra and her breasts were pushing into him, her nipples hard. Beth was enjoying the sensation and pushed herself harder against him.

'For an intelligent man you can be a bit dense sometimes'. She spoke to him, slowly stroking the front of his shirt.

'For your benefit, because you seem to be the only one not getting it in the room....'she laughed and pulled him around to face her, noticing the wetness on his cheeks and brushing it away with the side of her hand. 'I'm talking about you....'

'Beth...I...' Alan couldn't get his head around what she way saying but he stopped thinking as she pulled him to her, kissing him deeply, her tongue forcing open his lips and probing him, tasting the deliciousness of him.

Pulling apart, he looked at her beautiful face, her eyes partly closed, her lips red and her cheeks flushed with desire.

'I think we should stop...slow down a little...I don't know how far you want us to go...' his breath was ragged, he wanted her badly.

'Put it this way' she said, licking her lips 'I haven't made love to anyone in over 2 years...haven't had the desire to or thought about making love to anyone...' she caught her breath as he bent to nuzzle her neck, his breath hot on her flesh 'until now that is....'

'But Beth...what if?' he left the question hanging and went back to her beautiful soft neck, gently kissing, rubbing his stubble over her skin, feeling her body respond to his touch and his own respond to her scent, the feel of her beneath her clothes.

'I trust you Alan... I love you...and I have to try, sometime.... I can't think of anyone I would rather try with... if you dont mind being a guinea pig!' She smiled against his cheek as he pulled her close to him, searching for her mouth and pushing his tongue deep into her.

'I want to make love to you Beth....I love you' Alan whispered.

Taking her hand, he lead her into the bedroom.