Live Every Second

|| Tom’s POV ||

“Tom… why couldn’t you have just cleaned off the damn toilet?” My twin hissed at me as the girls stayed as far away from us as possible in the small room we were in waiting for our cue to go on stage. They’d avoided us all day, hanging out with Matt and Kyle at the Merch table all day instead of practicing or being around us. I was starting to get really annoyed by it all.

Then again, I knew Bill was right. And I hated that more then anything, so I wouldn’t admit it out loud. “Well, they wouldn’t have been so pissed if you didn’t make that stupid comment about their periods.” I hissed back at him, keeping my voice as low as his so the girls couldn’t hear us. It was a pretty awkward silence between all of us- only getting glares here and there from them.

“Alright guys, show time,” I heard David’s voice and wanted to ignore him, but the girls instantly walked right passed us and him to get onto the stage. David gave Bill and I a strange look but we just told him they were nervous tonight. He believed it. We followed the girls on stage and Bill went up front, taking the mic down and introducing us like he always did.

Abbie started Break Away that we have all grown accustomed to starting the show with. It was obvious to us how the atmosphere on the stage had changed from our usual shows, I don’t think the fans noticed it.

By the forth song though, I was sure they did. Sonnie had migrated towards the back of the stage with Abbie, the two of them simply looking down and playing the notes perfectly without missing a beat. Usually during Scream like this Sonnie would be up front on the stage with me, battling me in some sort of blinking contest until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer and she would stick her tongue out at me, nearly skipping off to the front of the stage.

Bill should be in back with Abbie, teasingly pulling on her hair and she would hit him playfully with one of her sticks before going back to the song somehow without missing a beat. Bill would have a bruise from her stick after the show. But not tonight, we stayed on our part and they stayed on theirs.

Bill kept looking back at them- he messed up his lyrics at least three times and twice more he had started singing the songs in German rather then English. It’s easy to say that this was by far the worst show we had ever played- and really. It’s mine and Bill’s fault.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you four tonight, but that was by far the worst thing I have ever seen any of you do. Sonnie, Abbie…”

“We played the songs just like we were supposed to David,” Sonnie said, cutting him off and still leaning against Abbie.

“No, I know. You guys played the songs right… but you were so stiff, unmoving. I think I would have preferred a few mess up if it would have gotten you guys to move some. Tom, you were way off tonight, I’ve never heard you play so poorly before.” I just frowned, not saying anything. “Bill… where do I even start with you? Wrong translations, and then actually singing the songs half in German? What was all of that? You’re the singer Bill, you’re the one who’s supposed to keep everyone going. And you far from did that tonight. I never thought I would be ashamed of this band in my life.”

It was long after the show by now, after cleaning up with the audience some he had found all of us in the bus again and ready to go. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but it better be figured out by tomorrow. I’m serious, all of you.”

David left us with those words; I could see Sonnie and Abbie trying not to cry. Bill looked crestfallen, this was his life. David had never been disappointed in us- let alone ashamed. I knew he was right though, we had to make up with the girls. I didn’t like fighting with them, not in the least bit. As soon as David had left us alone, Abbie and Sonnie had left the room as quickly as possible. “We have to talk to David soon,” I heard Sonnie saying, “I have to get out of here, Abbs. I’m done with these people and I want new ones.”

“Dude, you just totally stole that line from that movie,” I heard Abbie say in an obvious try to distract Sonnie. They way her voice changed made me feel like Sonnie gave her one of her looks, “Okay, you’re right. We’ll talk to David tomorrow… maybe we can work out some kind of deal with him. We’ll play a few more shows- but then we’re done. They have to find someone else for the band.”

I saw Bill’s jaw dropped and we could no longer hear them in the confines of one of the bunks. My mouth was dry and I could feel Bill move close behind me. We had fucked up, that was the end of it. They couldn’t… they couldn’t seriously want to leave- could they? We had never been better until we got them as part of the band. I should tell them that, but I know I won’t. “Tomi…” Bill whispered, leaning up against me some- I was afraid he was going to fall. I didn’t want to loose them. I didn’t want to loose Sonnie. Bill couldn’t loose Abbie. It’d kill him.

“I know…” I said, and I turned my head to look at him. Bill’s face was written in the same pain I knew mine to be. Neither of us wanted either of them gone. “We have to fix this, Bill… I don’t want them gone. They… they can’t seriously want to leave. They’re part of this band.”

“Tomi, they’re more then that. They’re part of our lives…” He sighed, shaking his head, “We are going to make this better, Tom. I don’t know how we are, but we have too.” I nodded in agreement. We both knew we had to fix how much we hurt the girls. Only problem was, neither of us even knew where to start.