When You Go

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Frank woke up to find his neck and back very stiff and sore. Where was he? Why did he hurt so much? He opened his eyes, immediately regretting the decision. That night's events came flooding back into his mind as he looked around the small hospital room, focusing on the person lying in the bed. Luca.

The doctor had said that she was going to be alright.....if she woke up.They'd had to give her blood, and they'd stitched her wrists, said that physically she should be fine. But it had been three days, and for some reason, she just didn't seem to want to wake up.

He said that if she had cut any deeper, she wouldn't have been so lucky. Frank wondered if she would see it that way.

Her chest rose and fell with mechanical precision. He saw the IV hooked in her veins, the restraints around her wrists, just in case she woke up and realized she'd botched the job. She looked so lifeless, so beaten. He didn't want her to give up.

He rose from the chair, stretching his aching back and shoulders. He sat on the bed beside her, taking one of her cold hands in his. He gently rubbed the back of it, willing some of his strength into her through his touch. Please, Luca. For me. Wake up. I forgive you. You have to know I forgive you....

He didn't know he how long he sat like that. He would have stayed there forever if he thought it would have helped. He heard the door open and looked up.

He saw Mikey, Bob and Ray walk in, with Marina at the very back of the group. They brought flowers and cards and stuffed animals, hoping that she would get a chance to see them. Mikey came over to Frank, putting his arms around his shoulders in a sympathetic hug. Bob and Ray did the same, telling him that it was going to be okay, that she was going to wake up. He smiled at them wanly, thanking them and nodding his head. Those three left the room, leaving Marina standing awkwardly in the corner.

"Hey, Frank, I'm so sorry," Marina started. He looked up at her, and shook his head.

"Don't be, Marina. This isn't your fault."

She walked over to him. "Maybe. But I can't help but think that if I had been a better friend to her.....I mean, after Gerard and I.....I hardly talked to her....he told me that he was in love with her....I was so jealous...." Tears started spilling down her cheeks. "If I had talked to her more, maybe she would have told me. Maybe she wouldn't have felt so alone....." Frank stood up and pulled her into a comforting hug.

"It's okay Marina. I promise you, this is not your fault. She did what she did for other reasons. Not you, okay?" She nodded against his chest, sniffling. She pushed away from him, heading for the door.

She paused. "Could you tell her I'm sorry?"

"Well, when she wakes up, why don't you tell her yourself?" She smiled a small, sad smile at him, and nodded silently, pushing open the doors and exiting the room.

Frank didn't know what he wanted to do more. Kill Gerard so he never had to see his stupid smirking face again, or just maim him permanently so that he had to live the rest of his life scarred, knowing that he had lost. But, he knew he couldn't do either of those things without going to jail, and Luca needed him right now. He looked down at her pale face, feeling so helpless. There was nothing he could do. Yet.