The Winter Guest *Complete*

Chapter 13


” I don’t want one to win and one to lose.
Can’t tell them yes or no.
Choosing one means letting one go.
Oh I cant face letting one of them go.
You’d think two lovers would be twice the fun but its tearing me apart.
Someone help me make up my heart.
Please tell me how to make up my heart.”

Starlight Express – Make up my heart

I put down the phone and stared into the darkness. He hadn’t called me to wish me good night. He had called me to prevent me from storming in his room tomorrow and flinging my arms around him in front of his girlfriend. I felt bad. I didn’t want him to cheat his girlfriend. But I also wanted him. Wasn’t that just as evil? I wondered how he would feel. Pretty awful probably. If he really did love her, this should hurt him. But, I thought, if you really loved somebody, would you kiss someone else? Would you be that easily tempted? Needless to say, there wasn’t a lot of sleeping going on after that.

The next morning my mind was in over drive. I didn’t feel like going to the hospital. I would do anything to avoid meeting her. It was awkward enough. If Gary felt something going on, wouldn’t his own girlfriend? But I had promised him I would come. I also didn’t want him to be there all day. He would probably be released tomorrow as well. Would she stay with him? In my hotel?

The hospital called me at noon. It was ok for him to leave. If someone could pick him up. Or if the lady that was with him was going to take him?
So she was there. With him. My stomach turned around.
Before I even knew it, the receptionist had put me through to his room, so I could explain him he could go.

“Yes?” he sounded normal

“Hi, Alan, it’s me… uh Kate. The hospital just phoned me, you can leave today.” I tried to hear any other noise coming from around him but all I heard was silence.

“I could sent a taxi to come and pick you up?”

“Yeah, that’ll be fine.” His voice was small.
“Right then, I’ll see you later. “ I wanted to ask if she was coming too. But I didn’t. He put the phone down and I called a taxi.

I was hanging around the main entrance like a bird of prey awaiting its victim. Hopelessly uncomfortable I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were a bit bloodshot, and a light shade of black was appearing underneath them. My blond hair was hanging dull on my shoulders, I looked like a mess. I needed a good rest, some healthy food, and a work out. I hated sports, but on the rare occasions when I had done some, it had given me huge energy boost. So once in a while I forced myself to go running or go to the gym. I’ll start tomorrow, I thought as I pulled myself away from the mirror.

The black Mercedes pulling up at the door was unmistakably a taxi. The yellow sign on top of the car was flickering as the chauffeur got out. He opened the door to the back seat on his side of the car. A man, slowly moving got out of the car. It was Alan. The taxi driver closed the door and carried Alan’s plastic bag to the door. I sighed with relieve. He was alone. Thank God.

I met him half way down the stairs and took over the bag from the taxi driver. He greeted me polite and returned to his car.

“ You ok?” I watched his face, which was twisted with pain as he walked up the stairs.

“I feel like an old man, “ he sighed. And I saw his eyes were bloodshot too. I opened the door for him and he entered looking relieved.

“Can I do anything for you?” I asked.

“That bag is filled with pills and other medication, perhaps you could take a look at the prescription, I haven’t got any idea what to do with it.”

I smirked as I glanced inside the bag. No opportunity goes wasted on French pharmacists to empty their stock. I followed him down the corridor, past my room on to his. I hadn’t been inside his room yet, and although I did know what the room looked like of course, I was still a bit curious. He opened the door and allowed me in.
It was very tidy and the room’s scent was a mixture of freshness and Alan. A little pile of books was on the bed side table. I spotted John Irving. On top of his dresser lay papers and a script which I thought must be of the Harry Potter movie. No clothes were scattered around the room, except for a t-shirt which lay neatly folded on the bed. He sank onto the bed, sighed and rubbed his head.

“You want some tea? I could make some at my room?”

“No thanks, I think I’ll just go to sleep.”

I sat next to him and emptied the bag onto his bed and retrieved a paper with instructions between it. I sorted the pills and told him which to take and how. He had an awful lot of pain killers and anti – inflammatory pills. He looked at them with a vengeance.

“Do I have to take all of that? I’ll be out cold!”

I smiled and put the pain killers aside, “ Take those when you think you need them.”

I bit my lip and he saw it. “You’re wondering why she’s not here aren’t you?”
Damn it. He caught me right of guard as I had lingered my mind over the reason why his girlfriend hadn’t come with him. If he had be mine, I would have been right here by his bed. Well, I thought, I’m not his girlfriend but still, It’s me who’s sitting at his bed side.

“ Well, yes. She was there with you this afternoon wasn’t she?”

“ Yes, she was. But she left.”

“Oh.”

“After I told her about you.”

“What? You told her about me? Why?! Well, I know why but…”

“Do you think that I can keep this a secret from someone who I have been with this long? I do love her, and she deserves to know the truth. I owe her that much. I never meant to hurt her. It’s just…you make me feel so…” he swallowed and I saw him look away. I felt a sting of guilt stabbing me in the back.

“ She told me not to come back or contact her until I sorted this out.” I said nothing. Afraid that he might think that I wanted to persuade him to leave her. But what had he told her? That he made a mistake? That he had doubts? That he had met someone else?

“I am so sorry Alan, I never wanted it to be like this.” I hardly dared to look at him. He seemed broken.

“ I don’t know Kate, it’s my fault that you got into this.”

“ Don’t say that, I was there too.”

“ I should have told you that I had a girlfriend, maybe then…”

“Then what Alan?” I was more angry with myself for feeling what I felt for Alan, but I was taking it out on him.

“You can’t turn back time! It happened, and you think that I’m going to just walk away from you? Of course not! I need you Alan! I wanted to be with you the first time I ever saw you! And that wasn’t even in real life that was on a bloody DVD! I don’t want to break up a good relationship but…. but you said yourself that you felt something for me. I can’t ignore that! This is the first time in years that I feel something like this, and I like it. Damn it, I want to be with you! ”

I felt new tears filling my eyes, and stood up and walked away from him. I didn’t want him to see me so vulnerable while I was making a point. I stared out the window. My heart was pounding so hard I thought he could here it.
In the reflection of the window I saw him getting up from the bed and walking towards me. He stood behind me and I could feel his warmth against my back. I closed my eyes and felt my body responding to him immediately when he put a hand on my shoulder.

“I’m not asking you to ignore your feelings, but just give me some time Kate.”

I exhaled loudly and felt my body relaxing against his. He wrapped one arm around me and the other hand which was still in a strap on his chest was playing with my hair. His head lowered and I felt his breath in my neck.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” my words came out in whisper.

“It’s ok, “ his vocal cords tickled my skin. He had already bewitched me with his scent, his voice and his touch.

Kissing my neck, he made a path to my earlobes. The hairs on the back of my neck reacted and I felt my mouth opening. His hand was on my stomach. Slowly reaching down he lingered his hands on my thighs and I shuddered.

“I want you Alan, “ I panted and when I turned around I saw something was changed in his eyes. They weren’t sad, they seemed darker, determined.

“I want you Kate,” he said and he fiercely kissed me on the lips forcing his tongue in my mouth.