I Can't Look At You Anymore

*****GERARD'S P.O.V*****

"Gerard, Oh there you are!"

I watched Mikey walk out to the back yard.

I wanted to follow him, to finish what I had started.

I had a wild animal inside of me clawing at me to let him out.

I could still feel the vibrations from the washing machine in my legs.

"Gerard this is Staci Pelissier."

"Um hi." I said

She had short black bobbed hair, green eyes and wicked lips.

I heard Mikey's car leave and I sighed.

I had missed my chance.

"Do you want tea Staci?" Gran asked.

She shook her head and smiled at me.

What did she think I'd like her or something?

She made me sick, I wanted to leave.

"Gran I'm sorry I was about to go for a shower so I'll be upstairs okay?"

"Sure thing Gerard, I'm teaching Staci the piano so we'll be down here."

I nodded and headed for the bathroom.

I hated the fact that Mikey was not here.

Where the hell was he running off to any way?

I finished my shower and went to Mikey's room I couldn't stop thinking about Mikey, his soft lips, the way he smiled slyly at me across the room.

I wanted to make him scream my name.

I wanted it now.

I let my towel drop to the floor and sat on his bed naked.

Maybe he would come home and find me pulling myself off to him and help me out.

It felt good but it wasn't Mikey.

The heat from this morning still fresh in my mind.

I imagined sitting him on the washing machine and kissing his thighs.

"Oh god I'm sorry!" She said.

I looked up at her.

I didn't cover-up I wasn't ashamed.

"I thought this was the bathroom!"

"It's my brother's room"

"I'm sorry!"

I smiled as she closed the door.

Stupid bitch.

Mikey didn't come home before I finished, for shame.

I left my wet towel on his floor and went back into my room.

He would find it and know that he missed out.

And I wouldn't succumb to him any more; this was turning into a game.

I will win, baby brother.