Mending Hearts

Shannon gazed down at Adam's shocked face and attempted to keep his own nerves in check. He begged Adam silently to prove him right. He wanted Adam to refuse him and prove to him that someone in this damn company didn't see him as a distraction until someone else came along. He wanted to know if this really was a friendship or another ploy. *Please don't take me up on this, Adam,* Shannon thought. *Don't be one of them.*

Adam stared back up at Shannon, but the smaller blond couldn't determine what he was thinking. The Canadian appeared locked in time, as if one move would cause a catastrophic event. And it would. Shannon could feel the telltale bulge pressed against his own. He admitted to himself that he was attracted to Adam, but it was far too soon in their friendship to tell if it would stand the test of a relationship. He wouldn't give into the lust just because they both wanted it. No. He would only give his body again when there was a certainty of something beyond convenience and desire. He wouldn't settle for less anymore. And now he would find out if Adam meant what he'd said.

"Why?" the Canadian said through gritted teeth. It was as if that was all he could trust himself to say.

Shannon thought for a moment. He couldn't tell him why. That would probably affect the outcome. So, what to say? He had to make up something convincing. He contemplated the man beneath him carefully. Or maybe he didn't have to say anything. Shannon's mind finally cleared and he knew what he had to do. He quickly leaned in and locked his lips to Adam's, nibbling gently on the taller man's bottom one. Adam groaned in response and kissed him back. As good as it felt Shannon's heart sank. He had his answer. But suddenly Adam pulled back and gently pushed the smaller blond off him, panting with unspent passion.

"As much as I want you," he said to a stunned Shannon, "and I assure you I DO want you, I can't let you do this."

Shannon's heart kicked up and he tried his best to hide his relief behind a disinterested expression. Adam was shooting him a peculiar look so he wasn't entirely sure he was being successful.

"Why not?" he hissed. "Isn't that what you want?"

Adam sighed and shook his head. "Oh, I want you very badly, Shan," he said not breaking eye contact for a second. "But I want you for you and until I can get you to believe that, I'm not going to give in to it."

Shannon sat back on the bed at a loss. Adam had given him what he wanted, an assurance that if anything did happen, Shannon would dictate the terms without worrying about Adam trying to seduce him. So, why did a small part of him feel so empty and rejected?

"I can practically read your mind," Adam said sitting back but not far away from the small blond. He was giving Shannon the most sincere expression the smaller man had ever received and it did warm him a little. "I'm not rejecting you. I'm just trying to show you that I care about you and am willing to do what is best for you. Not me. You."

"I'm just not used to having anyone care about what I want," Shannon sighed and ran his fingers through his loose blond hair. "And I don't want to go through another bad relationship."

"So, why did you come on to me?" Adam frowned.

"To see if you meant what you'd said," Shannon blushed and looked down. "I'm sorry I did it that way, but I've been burnt by so-called friends so many times before. I thought it was the only way to be sure."

"Hey."

Shannon refused to look up, feeling quite embarrassed by his actions.

"I said, hey," Adam repeated softly lifting Shannon's head with his fingers under the small blond's chin. "I'm not mad at you."

"You should be," Shannon shrugged looking back up. Adam removed his hand.

"No, I shouldn't. You've been treated very badly and I understand your reluctance to believe me."

"I just can't believe he planned the whole thing," Shannon whispered feeling the tears well up inside his eyes. "I knew he didn't love me but, Adam, he used me like a whore and dumped me when he was through."

"I know," the taller man replied rubbing Shannon's shoulder. "It was disgusting."

"He was supposed to be one of my best friends," Shannon went on. "I even let him pull me away from Jeff! And he was planning to come back again. He knew I loved him. He knew I'd give him another chance if I thought he missed me. And he was going to dump me again."

"I know."

Shannon's tears became a torrent of sobs as he moved into Adam's arms and gave into his pain.

***********************************

Jeff hung up from his short conversation with Matt and smiled. At least there was something human left to salvage of bro brother. They'd basically caught up a little and Matt even told him some of what happened at the club earlier that night. Jeff laughed when Matt told him about Jay's torment from Jericho. Chris was a riot. Jeff would have to remember to get some pointers from him next time they sat down for a conversation. He still considered Chris one of his good friends, even after everything that had happened with Randy. Too bad things had been strained like they were. Well, Randy did say that time would heal things and he appeared to be correct. Maybe one day Jeff could talk to him again like he used to, too. He sighed and dialed the phone of his number one accomplice, the only one who knew all the details he did.

"Yello!"

"Cute," Jeff laughed.

"Hey, I'm trying," the man snickered. "What's up? I'd expected you to call long before this."

"Sorry," Jeff replied. "I was late in talking to Adam and Shannon. Then Matt called."

"Whoa!" the guy exclaimed. "Matt actually called you?"

"Yeah, just now. It was kind of unexpected."

"I wonder what they were saying to him while we were all out on the dance floor."

"What who was saying to him?" Jeff asked curiously.

"Lance and Shawn."

"What?!" Jeff cried. "I told them to stay out of this! We don't want Matt to know we're onto him."

"Why not?" the man argued. "It might make things end more quickly."

"Yeah, but my intention is to teach Matty a lesson without embarrassing him too much," Jeff explained. "He'd leave wrestling if he thought everyone knew what he did."

"I don't think he'd do something THAT drastic," came the reply. "But don't worry. They said they weren't going to confront him and they always do what they say they'll do. They're probably just trying to sway him from his wayward course."

"Beautifully put," Jeff sighed again. "I thought I was the poet."

"Maybe you're rubbing off on me."

"Maybe."

"You want to hear what happened tonight?"

"Matt told me Jay had an interesting evening," Jeff laughed. "You go ahead and tell me the rest."

The other guy chuckled and recounted the evening's events, making Jeff laugh out loud in some parts. He smiled when he heard that Chris had actually tricked Matt and Jay into dancing a slow one together. That was an interesting angle he hadn't thought to work in.

"So, Chris and Randy are really kaput?" he asked.

"Yeah," the ma voi voice stiffened. "Why? Does that interest you?"

"Not me," Jeff's voice softened. He understood the emotions behind the churlish reply. He even silently acknowledged that he would feel the same were the situation reversed. "I'm very happy with the way things turned out."

"You're sure?"

"I'm positive," Jeff said confidently. "I'd be happier if you weren't ogling my brother, though."

The man laughed out loud.

"I'm not the only one," he finally said. "I have competition."

"Yeah, well your competition better win!" Jeff playfully groused.

They both laughed for a while over that. Then the man got serious again.

"Does it bother you how we got together, baby?"

"It bothers me that I hurt two good friends before I admitted to myself what I really wanted," Jeff replied. "You and I had been fighting for so long, I didn't see how we would wind up together."

"Our fights were so bad BECAUSE of what we felt for one another."

"I know that now," Jeff grunted. "But it took some broken hearts for me to make it work."

"You didn't break those hearts on your own."

"Don't YOU go feeling guilty on me, now," Jeff asserted. "I was the one running. I knew even back then you'd catch me, though."

"I just don't want you to wonder 'what if' over anything."

"I love you, baby," Jeff said simply. "There are no more 'what ifs' to wonder about. There's just you."

"I love you, too Jeff."