All In The Family

Because I’m expecting someone, the sound of my apartment door opening doesn’t alarm me; but when I look up from my position in front of the stove with a smile on my face and spot my brother standing in the entrance of my kitchen, that smile slowly falters. Now I’m slightly alarmed.

“Morning sis,” he says, leaning against the wall and fixing his eyes on me, “You’re not usually up this early. You usually sleep ‘til at least noon.”

And yet, here you are in my kitchen. Instead of actually saying that out loud, I shrug and reach to turn the stove off. "It's not that early; it's almost noon. Besides, I was hungry so I’m cooking." I point out, reaching out and turning the burner off.

"Nothing wrong with that I suppose." My brother laughs. "Hey, um have you seen Carrie lately?"

Freezing I glance up at him. "N-no why would I see...no haven't seen her." Smooth Kelly, real smooth.

“Just wondering, I haven’t really seen much of her lately myself. Do you think…you don’t think she’s getting cold feet already, do you? I’m probably just overreacting.”

I move the pan in my hand away from the hot surface and place it on the back burner to cool. “She’s probably just busy with work,” I manage to say, turning to face him completely. “Can you excuse me for just a sec, Jase?” He nods and I quickly exit the kitchen and make my way down the hall to my bedroom.

Stepping inside I make my way over to my nightstand and pick my cell phone up. I shoot a quick glance down at my clock and release a heavy sigh. I still have time to catch her. Flipping my phone open I hit the ‘talk’ button twice and place the phone against my ear. After the second ring I release another sigh when I hear her voice on the other line.

“Care,” I whisper quietly into the phone, glancing over my shoulder to make sure my brother isn’t around. “Jason is here so…it’ll probably be better if you didn’t stop by right now because I just told him I haven’t seen you lately so…it’s just probably not a good idea right now. I’ll see you later though okay?” I listen to her response before ending the call and setting my phone back onto my nightstand.

Immediately after I end the call I make my way back towards the kitchen and spot my brother chilling out in my living room.

“Planning on sticking around for a while?” I shout to him over the noise blaring from my TV as I continue walking towards the kitchen.

His voice travels to me once I’m in the kitchen again. “Yeah, I need to discuss some wedding deets with you. I’ll wait for you to finish eating though and then we can talk.”

I lean against the counter and shut my eyes firmly, and after a few seconds I open them. “Alright, sounds good.” I say, all the while really thinking "What in the hell are you doing you idiot".

Betrayal- that's what this is, that's what I'm doing. There's no way of sugarcoating it or any use in denying it. I'm fully aware of what I'm doing and even more aware of whom I'm doing it to, which makes this entire situation even worse.

Let’s rewind to about a month ago when I was questioning my loyalty to my brother and was so convinced that said loyalty would prevent me from doing anything stupid. Let’s fast forward to now; clearly I have failed terribly at being loyal to him. Hell, I think loyalty went out the window the second I let my guard down and kissed my brother’s fiancée. Actually, it probably went out the window even before then. But kissing her is one thing; what we’re doing now is an entirely different story.

And even knowing this, knowing that I have betrayed my brother, that I am still betraying my brother, I haven’t walked away. And to be honest, I don’t think I have it in me to.

His voice breaks me from my thoughts. “You can join me out here ya know?”

I clear my throat. “I’ll be there in just a minute,” I reply, pushing away from the counter and stepping towards the stove.

“Are you hungry?” I call out, because suddenly I’ve lost my appetite.