This Time Around

I can see Simon out of the corner of my eye. He's staring at me...again. He's got this sly, sneaky grin plastered across his face, like he's undressing me with his eyes or something. Hell, he probably is. Still, its distracting, and I can't focus on what Ryan's saying. Then, just as the cameras turn on him, he acts completely normal and uninterested, just as he always does for the TV audience. What gives? He's introduced, and it's my turn next.

"Next, ladies and gentlemen, Paula Abdul. She's gentle and gorgeous, we love her." Ryan says with a smile as I giggle and thank the audience for the wild applause.

"You weren't so gentle the other night, Pawler," Simon whispered in my ear as the recap of the previous night rolled.

"Hey, you got what you deserved," I responded playfully.

"Yeah, but you still haven't gotten what you deserved," Simon said, poking my sides.

"Mm, and when can I expect this punishment?" I asked silkily.

"Telling you would take all the fun out of it darling."

I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could, the recap ended and the house lights came back up. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, trying to ignore the flash of heat that shot through my body as Simon's arm fell in its usual spot on the back of my chair, his fingers mindlessly flicking my hair as Ryan dragged out the results.

I couldn't help but smile. This was so typical of me, I knew what I wanted, but I was too nervous to do anything about it. Maybe it was because there were more feelings there than I was ready to admit.

Wait, what? No.

I shook my head, trying to clear those thoughts. I didn't love Simon. I didn't. Not like...that. Did I?

I snapped out of my trance when George, Jasmine, and John were brought down on stage, one by one, where Ryan took us to yet another commercial break.

I got up to make a quick run to the restroom, and when I returned, Simon and Randy were huddled close together, as if they were conspiring about something. When they noticed I had returned, they both jumped back; making a pitiful attempt at acting like nothing was going on. Come on guys, I'm smarter than that. I'm a woman.

When the commercial break ended, John was the next to go into the Top 12, with 28% of the votes. Simon's face lit up, gloating that one of the two predictions he'd made the previous night were right, disproving mine and Randy's that Jasmine and George would be the ones to make it through.

I pushed him away, playfully, and moved closer to Randy.

"Yo Paula, dawg, come over here girl. Get away from Cowell, we should be the only two judges here, there's no room left for him and his ego on this panel," Randy joked as he pulled my chair closer to his.

"There's no room left on this panel!" I shrieked, echoing Randy, as Simon smirked at me.

The show drudged on, Ryan teasing us with more breaks and filler before finally getting down to the point of the show. Jasmine was the next to go through, just as Simon had guessed. The house lights went down again as the contestants who would be brought back for the Wildcard show were announced.

"There's plenty of room left on this panel," Simon whispered in my ear. "You just hate it when I'm right," he teased.

"You're right, I do," I giggled in response.

"I'm right about more than just the Top 12, Paula," he said, nuzzling the side of my face with his nose.

I cleared my throat.

"And what else do you think you're right about?"

"You want me. Right now. I bet you're incredibly wet for me aren't you Pawler? I bet you're dying for me to take you right this second, on this table, nonetheless."

Damn.

Have I mentioned that I hate it when he's right?

I didn't look at him. I couldn't. But I couldn't keep from grinning, and he smiled smugly, knowing even without my saying anything that he was right.

Focus on the stage Paula. Focus on the stage.

And with that the segment ended, bringing the focus back on us, where we were picked our three contestants for the Wildcard show and Jasmine began her song before the episode ended. I was too unfocused the night before to really listen to the lyrics, but when they began this time, they really hit home.

Each day, each day I play the role
Of someone always in control
But at night I hom home and turn the key
There's nobody there, no one cares for me

I softly sighed, and looked down, taking in the words as Jasmine's smooth voice continued. Then I felt it. Simon's arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me towards him. I leaned back, placing my head on his chest, and smiled. I could see the monitor from where I was sitting; the camera had zoomed in on us. But for once, Simon didn't pull away. Instead, he held me closer, his hand resting on my forearm, softly. Comfortably. Like we'd been doing this for years and it was the most natural thing in the world. And it was.

Oh, oh, what's the sense
Of trying hard to find your dreams
Without someone to share it with
Tell me what does it mean
I wanna run to you
Ooh, ooh
I wanna run to you
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Won't you hold me in your arms
And keep me safe from harm?
I wanna run to you
Ooh, ooh
But if I come to you
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Tell me, will you stay
Or will you run away?

"Don't run away Paula," he whispered in my ear, as the song ended, like he could hear my thoughts. Then his arm dropped off my shoulders, and he stood up as the piano music continued and everyone embraced Jasmine onstage. I didn't respond, only looked at him. I don't think a response was necessary. We both knew what we wanted. The only thing that was in question was when we were going to get it.