Alchemy
folder
My Chemical Romance › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
17
Views:
4,114
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
My Chemical Romance › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
17
Views:
4,114
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Precious Declaration
Title: Alchemy, Part 15: Precious Declaration
Author: ChemicalMuse
Pairing: Frank/Mikey, Frank/Gerard
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Mikey's thoughts on it all.
Author's Note: Mikey's POV, 1st person. Takes place before Gerard finds Mikey and Frankie in Mikey's bunk.
It's the middle of the night. I can just barely see the numbers on the clock by the bunk, because I don't want to move and disturb Frankie.
Frankie. I can't believe he's here. With me. Asleep in my arms. I keep thinking it's got to all be a dream. I'll wake up any second, and he'll be in the bunk across from me, with Gerard, and I'll be alone. Like always.
No. This isn't a dream. Frankie's mine. He's with me. He loves me. We've actually made love. Twice.
I can't count the nights I've cried myself to sleep, hearing them just a few feet away from me. Knowing that Gerard was making love to Frankie, and that I didn't have a right to touch him. I've always wanted to. From the first day I met him, my heart's been his. I just never had the guts to tell him that.
I'm not the kind of guy that people go gaga over. I'm too skinny, and pale, and geeky. I'm the one who's always in the background, too shy to go out and talk to people. Gerard's the frontman, he's the interesting one. Not me.
I knew he was going to be mad that Frankie and me were together. I just didn't expect him to do what he did. Even when we were little kids, and we fought over the usual stupid things that kids do, Gee never hit me. I was always the fragile, delicate one. He always protected me.
I guess fucking his boyfriend was where he drew the line.
I couldn't believe it the first time he hit me. I just sat there and stared at him. And I think that made him even more mad. Maybe if I'd moved, if I'd done something, raised my hands, he'd have stopped. But he didn't stop.
I don't know how many times he hit me before he grabbed my wrists. They still hurt. But at least he didn't break anything. Thank god. That'd be all we need. Rumors running around the tour like wildfire that the Way brothers got into a fight and Gerard broke my wrist.
I'm just bruised. But that's not the worst hurt. The worst pain is in my heart. Knowing that he could do that. No matter how drunk or strung out he's been before, he'd never have even thought about hitting me. Never.
I guess there's a first time for everything.
I didn't mean for it to happen. Honestly I didn't. But what was I supposed to do? Let Frankie fall into the pit and break his neck? No way. And everything that happened after I touched him .... it just felt so natural.
I've loved Frankie since the beginning. The first time I ever saw him I could have sworn my heart stopped beating. And the first time he ever spoke to me, I think it jumped up into my throat. I couldn't say a word. All I could do was stare into those eyes.
I knew I'd lost my heart. And I've never once wanted it back. It's always been his. Even if I've never been able to tell him that.
Today .... it was like everything came together for the first time. I guess it was just karma. The right place at the right time. I almost cried when he said he loved me. I never thought I'd hear those words from Frankie's lips. I never thought somebody that beautiful could love somebody like me. It all seems like a dream.
Even now, when he's right here with me, asleep in my arms in the dead of night, I still can't really believe it. Being with him like this makes everything worth it.
Well, not everything. I feel like I've lost the person I've always been closest to, and I don't know how to get him back.
I don't blame him for being mad. I don't even blame him for hating us .... hating me. I know how much he loves Frankie. But I know how much I love Frankie, too. And I didn't force him. I didn't even ask him to be with me. It was Frankie's choice.
I don't want Gerard to feel like I took Frankie away from him. I couldn't ever do that. If Frankie wanted to go back to Gee and forget this all happened, I'd let him. I'd never try to keep him from what would make him happy. But I don't think he was happy.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. But I don't think he could be with me the way he was tonight, right here where we're laying now, if he was happy with Gee. He's not that kind of person.
And I'm not, either. If I thought they were happy together, I'd step back. I wouldn't stand in their way. I never have before, and I wouldn't start now. But I want to see Frankie happy, before me, before Gerard, before anybody. And I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that he is.
After what's happened tonight, he's mine now. And I'm not going to let him go. Not unless he wants to.
I've never fought for anything in my life. But I'll fight for Frankie. I'll fight for his happiness. I don't care about me. I just want him to be happy. Whether it's with Gerard, or me, or somebody else.
He means more to me than anything in the world. More than the band, more than my own feelings .... more than my brother. I hate to say that, but it's true.
I don't want to lose Gerard. We're brothers. We're family. It would tear me apart for us to lose that bond we have.
But Frankie will always be more important. He always has been and he always will be. He's all that matters. I think that might be true for both Gerard and me.
I'll sacrifice whatever I have to for Frankie to be happy. Even if I have to give up my own happiness.
He'll always come first. Always.
Author: ChemicalMuse
Pairing: Frank/Mikey, Frank/Gerard
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Mikey's thoughts on it all.
Author's Note: Mikey's POV, 1st person. Takes place before Gerard finds Mikey and Frankie in Mikey's bunk.
It's the middle of the night. I can just barely see the numbers on the clock by the bunk, because I don't want to move and disturb Frankie.
Frankie. I can't believe he's here. With me. Asleep in my arms. I keep thinking it's got to all be a dream. I'll wake up any second, and he'll be in the bunk across from me, with Gerard, and I'll be alone. Like always.
No. This isn't a dream. Frankie's mine. He's with me. He loves me. We've actually made love. Twice.
I can't count the nights I've cried myself to sleep, hearing them just a few feet away from me. Knowing that Gerard was making love to Frankie, and that I didn't have a right to touch him. I've always wanted to. From the first day I met him, my heart's been his. I just never had the guts to tell him that.
I'm not the kind of guy that people go gaga over. I'm too skinny, and pale, and geeky. I'm the one who's always in the background, too shy to go out and talk to people. Gerard's the frontman, he's the interesting one. Not me.
I knew he was going to be mad that Frankie and me were together. I just didn't expect him to do what he did. Even when we were little kids, and we fought over the usual stupid things that kids do, Gee never hit me. I was always the fragile, delicate one. He always protected me.
I guess fucking his boyfriend was where he drew the line.
I couldn't believe it the first time he hit me. I just sat there and stared at him. And I think that made him even more mad. Maybe if I'd moved, if I'd done something, raised my hands, he'd have stopped. But he didn't stop.
I don't know how many times he hit me before he grabbed my wrists. They still hurt. But at least he didn't break anything. Thank god. That'd be all we need. Rumors running around the tour like wildfire that the Way brothers got into a fight and Gerard broke my wrist.
I'm just bruised. But that's not the worst hurt. The worst pain is in my heart. Knowing that he could do that. No matter how drunk or strung out he's been before, he'd never have even thought about hitting me. Never.
I guess there's a first time for everything.
I didn't mean for it to happen. Honestly I didn't. But what was I supposed to do? Let Frankie fall into the pit and break his neck? No way. And everything that happened after I touched him .... it just felt so natural.
I've loved Frankie since the beginning. The first time I ever saw him I could have sworn my heart stopped beating. And the first time he ever spoke to me, I think it jumped up into my throat. I couldn't say a word. All I could do was stare into those eyes.
I knew I'd lost my heart. And I've never once wanted it back. It's always been his. Even if I've never been able to tell him that.
Today .... it was like everything came together for the first time. I guess it was just karma. The right place at the right time. I almost cried when he said he loved me. I never thought I'd hear those words from Frankie's lips. I never thought somebody that beautiful could love somebody like me. It all seems like a dream.
Even now, when he's right here with me, asleep in my arms in the dead of night, I still can't really believe it. Being with him like this makes everything worth it.
Well, not everything. I feel like I've lost the person I've always been closest to, and I don't know how to get him back.
I don't blame him for being mad. I don't even blame him for hating us .... hating me. I know how much he loves Frankie. But I know how much I love Frankie, too. And I didn't force him. I didn't even ask him to be with me. It was Frankie's choice.
I don't want Gerard to feel like I took Frankie away from him. I couldn't ever do that. If Frankie wanted to go back to Gee and forget this all happened, I'd let him. I'd never try to keep him from what would make him happy. But I don't think he was happy.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. But I don't think he could be with me the way he was tonight, right here where we're laying now, if he was happy with Gee. He's not that kind of person.
And I'm not, either. If I thought they were happy together, I'd step back. I wouldn't stand in their way. I never have before, and I wouldn't start now. But I want to see Frankie happy, before me, before Gerard, before anybody. And I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that he is.
After what's happened tonight, he's mine now. And I'm not going to let him go. Not unless he wants to.
I've never fought for anything in my life. But I'll fight for Frankie. I'll fight for his happiness. I don't care about me. I just want him to be happy. Whether it's with Gerard, or me, or somebody else.
He means more to me than anything in the world. More than the band, more than my own feelings .... more than my brother. I hate to say that, but it's true.
I don't want to lose Gerard. We're brothers. We're family. It would tear me apart for us to lose that bond we have.
But Frankie will always be more important. He always has been and he always will be. He's all that matters. I think that might be true for both Gerard and me.
I'll sacrifice whatever I have to for Frankie to be happy. Even if I have to give up my own happiness.
He'll always come first. Always.