Jersey Boys

Chapter 15

Christmas Morning~~
Nerissa was laying in her bed listening to the story of her life. Somehow Kelly Clarkson always releted to Nerissa in one way or another
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Nerissa listened and sang along as she flipped through all the photo albums she had of her and her dad.
There she was riding her first pony, and her daddy was right by her side. Her eyes started to tear up as Kelly went for the chorus.

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid


‘ you’ve been mourning for 5 years Nerissa it is time. It is time for forgiveness he didn’t leave you here on this planet by yourself on purpose. Forgive him.’ She thought to herself.

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid


Nerissa Sat before her father’s grave her mascara and eyeliner all completely running down her face. She looked at the headstone and cried harder, little did she know Kelsey, Gerard, Mikey and Frank had all followed her and she spoke the most significant part of the song to her father’s grave

“ I watched you die, I heard you cry ever night in your sleep, I was so young you should have known better than to lean on me, you never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain, and now I cry in the middle of the night over the same damn thing.” She wailed out in sobs and laid on the snow covered ground wailing out sobs.
“ I’m sorry daddy I know I have not grown up to be the prefect daughter. I wanted to so hard daddy I promise and I have tried but it is too much. I know no matter where you are your proud of me but I feel like I have let you down daddy I’m sorry please forgive me please.” She wailed out beating at the ground. She continued
“Because of you ,I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you ,I learned to play on the safe side So I don't get hurt
Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you I am afraid, Because of you”
she continued to sob out as best as she could her throat was getting hoarse.

Gerard went to make a move to comfort her but Kelsey placed and hand on his arm and stopped him. He looked at her and she shook her head no. so he stayed up.

Nerissa outlined the words engraved into his tombstone
The fact that those same words were now in a song
She outlined the word’s
I’m Already there.

She wailed one last sob and curled up into a ball and let all the pent up feelings from the last 5 years out. She didn’t care who heard her. These were the true words from a broken heart.

Kelsey was the only one to make a move towards the broken girl.

She walked over and laid her head on her lap.

“Nerissa Honey, at me.” She said as Mikey Gerard and Frank finally joined her.
Nerissa looked up at Kelsey and then at her father’s tombstone then at her bleeding wrist that she had cut deep before she left the house.

“ he always said I would be ready for the day he would leave me. He lied! YOU LIED YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU LIED TO ME!! YOU PROMISED EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE FINE AND THEN YOU LEFT ME. WHY DAMN IT WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU LEAVE ME?! LOOK AT WHAT YOUR DOING TO ME DAD!” Nerissa said looking from Kelsey then to the sky screaming at her father and finally hitting the snow covered ground in which he lied forever entombed in a casket. She sat there hunched over and crying harder than what she has broken and Kelsey knew it. This girl had waited 5 long years for this, and the time had come. Kelsey knew she would never completely let it go. After what had happened to this girl she was lucky to be alive. Most people would have died from a broken heart, but she was strong and Kelsey knew it. But right now she was completely broken and she needed her father and she needed him now.

“Nerissa Helena Johnson look at me” Kelsey said in-nerving
“ have you ever used a Quijia board? Tried maybe communicating with him?” she asked
“ do you have one?” she asked
Kelsey Looked at Gerard and he nodded his head and helped Nerissa off the ground and lead her to his house with the others in tail.

They say in the basement with the only lighting being a few candles.
Nerissa placed her hand on the board and said is anyone trying to get a message to me.
The pointer moved to ‘yes’
“who” she asked
the pointer moved around the board to spell out
‘D.A.D.D.Y’
“what is he trying to tell me?”
the message was long but worth it
the message read out to be
‘I am proud of you baby girl. You’re a beautiful woman and person. I am sorry of the way I left you and when. Please forgive me. I love you Nerissa Helena Johnson. You can trust your life is not empty, I am always with you even thought it may not seem like it. Please forgive me baby girl. And Gerard take care of my little girl you break her heart I WILL haunt you’

Nerissa was laughing and crying.
“ I love you daddy” Nerissa sniffled out
the board spelled out
‘I love you too’


Lyrics are from the song Because of you By Kelly Clarkson