Darren and Richard
Break Me, Shake Me
I’d thought we’d seen the last of Ryan. I was wrong. Darren and I are in Tracey’s kitchen, preparing dinner. It’s Monday afternoon. The kids are due to arrive home from school any minute.
All of a sudden, we hear 8-year-old Sarah yelling, “Come quick! They’re fighting!”
We look at each other and bolt out the front door, in time to see Jordan slug Ryan. The bus driver stops the bus. The kids are yelling out the windows. The boys are on the ground. Darren and I pull them off each other. Looks like Ryan took the worst of it. His nose is bleeding. I’m holding his arms behind his back. Sarah, enraged, storms up to him and slaps him across the face.
“I don’t like you. You started it!”
“He hit me first!”
“After you shoved him when his back was turned.”
The kids on the bus are jeering at Ryan, who just got slapped by a little girl.
“Ha ha! Bates got the piss taken out o’him by an 8-year-old sheila!”
Bates? That’s his last name? Oh no, it’s too easy!
“Alright, Master Bates...” (More jeers from the bus. Couldn’t resist.)
“Apparently, you think you’re a tough guy. Takes a big man to shove a bloke when his back’s turned.”
The bus driver got off the bus.
“I saw the whole thing. Ryan was taunting Jordan, who was trying to ignore him and walk away. That’s when Ryan shoved him when he wasn’t looking. I’m reporting this to the head master. I want that boy off my bus. He’s no good.”
“He was making fun of Uncle Darren and Uncle Rich.”
“Oh he was, was he?”, Darren replies, glaring at the kid.
“Alright Master Bates. You’ve got something to say, let’s hear it. Whatsa matter, not so tough now, are we?”
For a second, I thought Darren was gonna punch the kid himself, and I was paused to stop him.
Meanwhile, the bus driver knocks on the door, and the little punk’s mother comes out. The driver explains what happened, and she and Ryan will be expected in the head master’s office in the morning. His mother orders him into the house. I think I feel sorry for her. She’s apparently lost control over this kid. She approaches us.
“I’m terribly sorry for all the trouble Ryan’s caused. He didn’t used to be like this. Ever since his father and I separated, he’s been angry and lashing out.”
Yeah whatever. We get the kids in the house.
“I don’t think he’ll be giving you any more trouble. Especially since he knows you’ll stand up to him.”
“Hey, I tried to walk away. I really wanted to deck him from the first insult, but I didn’t. He had it coming. Oh, and that ‘Master Bates’ thing was priceless! You completely turned the tables on him, Uncle Rich.”
Darren snickers.
“He thinks it’s funny to pick on gay men? Let’s see who’s laughing when he ends up someone’s bitch in jail.”
I hear he got sent to alternative school, and now has to ride the short bus. The neighborhood kids are all laughing at him. Poetic justice, if you ask me.