Dangerous Play

By: scarecrowslady

folder J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop › D

Rating: Adult +

Chapters: 20

Views: 2,603

Reviews: 4

Recommended: 0

Currently Reading: 0

Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop › D

Rating: Adult +

Chapters: 20

Views: 2,603

Reviews: 4

Recommended: 0

Currently Reading: 0

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: This is a piece of fiction. Ergo: not real or factual. I do not know D (or any other jrock band) and I am not gaining profit from this!

Wrapped Around My Finger

I do not own the lyrics "Hunger" by ASP. Nor do I profit from using this song for my chapter titles. This is fanfiction, so it is not real. It's for free. Enjoy~

Dangerous Play

Chapter 15: Wrapped Around My Finger

"You'll be wrapped around my finger - yes I'll know for sure..."

Before an earthquake's full destruction is unleashed, there is the unsettling rumble of earth and the cracks that appear underneath your feet. Every storm begins with small drops of rain. Thunder is birthed in white clouds piled high, turning purple with atmospheric pressure... and the origin of the tsunami is the unseen earthquakes underneath miles of ocean.

Ruiza, watching "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within", felt a pang of deja vu. As if it weren't Aki Ross who stood on the precipice - who understood the rumblings and the fissures beneath her for what they really were. Getting up to find some food in his apartment, he stretched and sighed.

Maybe it was the feeling of autumn that was finally reaching out over Osaka. Maybe it was the fact that he was missing the young musician he had found contentment in. Maybe it was the undercurrents of Syndrome that he was coming to understand, hate and worry over...

Wasn't it only yesterday when we returned from the tour... and now we are heading into a new year... What will it hold... I wonder...

He recalled the trip back to Osaka they had made a few months before...

-0-0-0-

"When my parents found out that I left Johnnies and branched into visual kei... well... they kinda were mad for a while - but they knew that it was their fault," Ruiza said, in a rather reminiscent voice as the band Syndrome made their way back to Osaka in their tour bus. "They had put me into Johnnies when I was young. And maybe, I haven't paid them back the way they hoped... but they always understood that it was ultimately up to me. And that this kind of industry is respectable in its own way."

"Huh..." Sin blinked. "I just did my own thing. My parents weren't too worried. I kinda was spoiled that way..." The young man laughed and shrugged. "It's not like it's their life. Although, I guess I do want to help them in their old age... I'm not sure how that's going to work out... but I'll try it out."

"Investments," Kisaki and Asagi said in unison and then blinked at each other.

"Investments?" asked Sin.

Asagi and Kisaki stared at the young man as if he had just been born from under a rock. Ruiza idly thought it was probably the face Sanzo wore when he discovered the Monkey King. Sin's boundless energy and eternal naivete was certainly comparable to Son Goku. Shion and he exchanged amused glances as Kisaki and Asagi opened their mouths simultaneously to lecture at Sin.

"Investments is paying ahead of time," Shion interjected quickly before either men could bury Sin in a mass of technical language. "You put away money for the future. You know."

"Oh. Yes. Those..."

"That explains the sorry state of his finances..." Kisaki shook his head. "Sad. Someone needs to take him in hand..."

"Well... day to day living has its merits I suppose," Asagi said, trying to be kind - but his voice still held an undercurrent of shock and disapproval.

Ruiza wondered rather remotely if HE had investments. Then he grinned at the thought of Asagi helping him figure it all out...

Asagi and Ruiza time!!! He thought rather gleefully. That way I can pry out of him the truth about his past... and get closer and closer...

Or not.... Reality spoke up as Kisaki wrapped an arm around Asagi.

"I didn't know you did investments," Kisaki smiled at Asagi proudly - as if Asagi were a particularly bright three-year-old that had read a Level One book of kanji.

"It's the only thing I inherited from my father," Asagi sighed. "Money and carefulness with money... But it works - and I know my future is safe - whatever happens."

"You don't seem so confident about the whole singing gig," Shion noted. "Cagey?"

"Perhaps," Asagi shrugged, his shoulders hunching unconsciously under their eyes. "I like the security investments bring... and well... things don't last forever. There's going to be a day when my voice won't save my lack of looks.... when I get old," Asagi added hastily, under Kisaki's critical eye.

"Hmph," Kisaki nodded. "Well, it looks like someone's got back up plans. Nice to know."

"Ah... Yeah..."

"When did you start singing?" asked Ruiza curiously.

"I was young when I realized I had an... interesting voice... but I didn't sing for anyone until I was in high school.." Asagi said softly. "It was very hard for me... I am rather new at the whole industry although I have been in two bands already... My family don't understand."

The finality of his voice brooked no questions so the rest of Syndrome merely nodded and left it be. Asagi would tell in his own time, they were sure. Ruiza wondered what kind of things were said to produce such silence on Asagi's part. He couldn't imagine what it would feel like to have a family who would abandoned him.

Something like that... has to be big, he thought, remembering Asagi's stilted phone conversation with his mother. And the long silence after it. It might explain... well, everything...

-0-0-0-

However, even though he had discovered things about Asagi and Kisaki that had disturbed and worried him, already time was mocking his inability to act on anything. The responsibility weighed Ruiza down - and drove him to the bottle of forgetfulness.

Wishful thinking never works, though, Ruiza thought morosely as he poked at some ramen that was easily heated in his small microwave. Perhaps, knowing isn't what I need most...

He could almost hear Shion murmuring, "I told you so."

At any rate, it was too late now for any decisive action. Soon they would be separating for the New Year holidays. Ruiza had the feeling that Kisaki was going to spend the entire time with Asagi - which was a worrisome thought. Conjuring up an image of his mother stuffing him with cakes, Ruiza smiled and thought about what he would do while hanging out at his parent's place...

Or maybe not... He mused, thinking of Tokyo and the dancer. Maybe he'll be there... It's my chance, really...

-0-0-0-

Returning to Osaka was a bit of a relief for Syndrome. As exciting as tours can be, the stress and level of public awareness always skyrocketed on the roads. Kisaki enjoyed the quiet of his studios and his own apartment. He missed the ever constant presence of Asagi - but the bassist invited Asagi over - for as long as Kisaki needed. Ridding himself of Sin's boisterousness, Ruiza's silent, disapproving glances and Shion's knowing looks was a relief and then some.

He was sure Asagi was equally relieved.

Sometimes, he wondered if the vocalist regretted saying goodbye to the lover he had found in Tokyo. Ruiza already seemed to miss the frenzied dancer he enjoyed at the club - and Kisaki speculated about Asagi's contentment - as being only Kisaki's for an unforeseeable length of time. For once, the bassist found himself being a little more careful with his band mate, knowing that somewhere out there, in Japan, existed competition that packed a punch.

I won't lose him again to some nameless nobody, Kisaki vowed. He will stay here always - and be happier for it. I promise...

But he, of all people, understood that promises are only meant to be broken.

-0-0-0-

New Years began, therefore, tentatively. As soon as the new sunrise peeked over the hills in the early morning, Ruiza disappeared into his small room that now mostly belonged to family "stuff" - and began to pack for Tokyo. He was a young man on a mission. Although uncertain about how he was going to find the nameless dancer who had caught his attention, Ruiza felt that it was at least worth a look. Kisaki was, for once, not keeping tabs on his band and Ruiza's disappearance into Tokyo would go unnoticed.

Mentally thanking the long-suffering Asagi, Ruiza found a cheap train to the capital of Japan and went in search of his lover. He only had a few days...

But who knows... Ruiza thought. If it was meant to be, I'll find him in no time...

He left behind his family and the band without looking back - whole-heartedly glad for the promise of a brighter future. Asagi was on his own.

-0-0-0-

Asagi sighed and turned to watch Kisaki watch the television. As promised, Kisaki had definitely wrecked his vengeance on the vocalist - literally imprisoning the younger man in his apartment. Together they watched the sunrise, each making their own silent promises. The bassist had spent the time promising himself a good musical year, prosperity for Syndrome and that Asagi would learn his place quickly enough.

What Asagi vowed was not revealed as the day went by. The vocalist seemed quite stubborn in that way - fixating on the necessary silence for the wish to activate.

"It's only superstition," Kisaki had grumbled, pulling Asagi to him for a kiss. "Are you hiding something from me?"

Asagi merely smiled enigmatically. The only thing stopping Kisaki from swiping the look off the younger man's face was the fact that an event was coming up soon - as well as a photo shoot

And there's that other guy...

So Kisaki sulked on the couch and Asagi got bored by the minute, wanting to do anything - go for a walk, shop, find some karaoke dive and sing... Anything outside of the apartment and the hated bedroom.

I wonder how Mie and Donna are doing... I had only two days with them – I know they don't mind the cat-sitter – but I'm sure that they miss me... If only I could just sit with them and tease them with catnip. Next time I go to the store, I should get some small fish treats...

Asagi sighed again as he roamed the room, keeping a wide berth from the bedroom door, not wanting to draw his insatiable lover's attention to it. It was amazing to Asagi how much the man seemed to want to lock the younger man away. At one point - between Kisaki's tongue on one of his nipples and an mind-blowing hand job - Asagi had heard something to the effect that he wasn't going to leave Kisaki ever again.

Not if I can help it, Asagi thought to himself.

It was a cautious thought that edged up tentatively like the sun behind the skyscrapers earlier that morning A feeling in the air - and awareness of a new world... Somehow, that one night stand had given Asagi a scrap of knowledge... a subtle shift in powers...

Not that I'm empowered at all, sighed the vocalist as he found some tea in Kisaki's kitchen. Reaching for the kettle, Asagi's hand was suddenly batted away by Kisaki's. Asagi turned and gave Kisaki a long-suffering look.

"What now? I can't make tea?"

"Not in my house you can't," Kisaki grumped, turning his back away as his lips threatened to twitch up at the adorable growly face that Asagi had assumed.

"Why not?" Asagi said, the air around him dropping ten degrees as he noticed that Kisaki had resumed the tea-making with an air of responsibility. "Are you assuming I am a child that needs to taken care of hand and foot?"

"I am assuming you are a monster in the kitchen with the alarming ability to burn water."

Asagi was speechless for a minute - his face a picture of hurt and injured pride. He pouted and fiddled with hands as he watched Kisaki set his kettle to boil. Kisaki turned around and tried to assume a grave face as he looked his vocalist over. Asagi reminded the bassist of a cat who had been sprayed with water - all hiss and fierce annoyance.

Kisaki cocking his head to one side thought, It's cute.... His lips twitched upward uncontrollably.

Asagi's dark eyes, which had risen to glare at his boss, his bassist and his current lover, widened and then shifted away. Face now red, Asagi mumbled something.

"I didn't hear that..." Kisaki said, a chuckle breaking out.

"I'm sorry," Asagi mumbled. "It's just... not true..."

"That incident in Fukuoka then?"

"Was the water boiling OUT of the pot - not the water burning!"

"Same difference."

"No, it's not..."

"At any rate," Kisaki shrugged dismissively, which pissed off Asagi even further. "Straight after tea, we'll go out."

For a split second, Asagi's stubborn self disagreed with Kisaki's pronouncement.

We'll go out, eh? Asagi thought. It's not, 'Let's go out' or... 'How about going out?'... or 'You wanna go out'... it's... 'We'll go out'... Like I have no choice, bastard.

Well, you don't have much of a choice, another part of him pointed out. And didn't you just wish you could get out several minutes ago? You seriously don't want to stay here any longer than you need to - do you?

"Go out?" asked Asagi after a moment. Cautiously. "As in... for a walk?"

He suddenly remembered the Hotel Paradise and the crazy clientele that frequented there - including himself apparently. Asagi whispered a prayer up to anyone who might be listening at the moment...

Please... NOT Hotel Paradise...

Someone in heaven was in, apparently, because Kisaki laughed genially, as he did sometimes when he felt good. Asagi's eyebrow twitched as he wondered how he managed to snag the only boyfriend in Japan who drew enjoyment out of torturing his lover with pain - and boredom.

"I was thinking supper, really," Kisaki smiled. "But we could put a walk in there somewhere. Perhaps after - so you can walk off the calories."

"Oh." Asagi blinked. "That sounds.... nice..." He added grudgingly. "I'd like that."

Dinner at a restaurant sounded like heaven.

"Good." Kisaki turned around to pull out two cups. "Go get adequately dressed then - the last thing I want is someone staring at your delectably teasable nipples and make sure it's something se-"

Kisaki hadn't finished his sentence - and was turning around to add something - but Asagi was already gone, shutting Kisaki's bedroom door with a click of finality. The bassist smiled indulgently.

He's excited. So cute....

-0-0-0-

Remembering his thoughts on personal modesty months and months before, Asagi only glanced a little into the mirror... He stashed away the image of him lounging about Kisaki's penthouse wearing only skimpy underwear like a frivolous slut. It made him wonder what kind of nerves of steel had developed to be able to consider the matter so lightly. However, there was no time for self-reproach or even self-consciousness. After all, it was a waste of time and thought and mental energy.

Really, he thought morosely. It's not like you were decent for the past three days either. You've not had a stitch of clothes on you for 72 hours... And you didn't die or expire on the spot... the world kept revolving.

But Asagi couldn't help but wonder if the nameless lover he had enjoyed in Tokyo would make him lounge about in underclothes for three....

No... four, including today... It's really... four...

For four days on end.

Although... I could see us doing just that together... It's always nice when one does it together with someone they love....

It was a cheering thought.

Choosing something sexy - but modest - Asagi settled on some nice, black pants that clung to his leggy curves - just the way Kisaki liked it. A cute shirt went on top with a jacket added for warmth. When he emerged, Kisaki nodded placidly - and while the bassist attended to himself, Asagi nursed his tea. After making sure that his hair was combed at least, Asagi followed Kisaki out the door.

-0-0-0-

Ruiza pushed past two indeterminately sexed people making out, narrowly got squashed by another pair bumbling around in the dark... and found his way back out onto the dance floor. It was the second night he had frequented the dance house. The blond guitarist could almost hear Kisaki's amused snorts at the predicament of his band mate.. and Asagi being very motherly by warning him about going to strange places.

It made Ruiza smile in fond memory... then he sighed as he looked around. The bartender had told him that the wild dancer had been attending regularly during the holidays... but it was less easy for Ruiza to notice people than the average Japanese male. Sighing, the short blond slumped at the bar morosely, ordering some sort of strange - but sweet - pink drink which he had developed a fondness about the night previous.

Just as he was downing the second one, Ruiza felt a familiar scent wash over him, followed by two long, skinny arms wrapping themselves around his waist...

He turned with a tearful smile and looked up at his lover, who drew Ruiza even closer. Clinging to the taller man, Ruiza leaned forward for a kiss - and was swept off his feet.

-0-0-0-

"You seem so sad... even when you are here..." The young man's voice sounded soft - different from his normally spastic crowing or wild yelling.

Ruiza recognized the same look of guilty concern which Asagi was prone to give him - in his lover's eyes. He kissed those soft pink lips carefully and snuggled closer to the man's now bare chest.

"It's not you," he replied with a quiet smile, brushing his long hair away from his face.

"Then who?"

"A friend of mine... a - a - a.... band mate.. He's been - he is in a tough situation... and I want to help him. He deserves so much better but -"

"You love him then." There was quiet understanding in the taller man's voice. Sadness. Disappointment. "I'm sorry..."

"No," Ruiza said quickly, drawing his lover close. "Yes... I don't know. Maybe... You see..." He hesitated. "He's with someone else. And even if he wasn't with that someone else... he'd be with someone else. Not me. He doesn't need what I can offer him... I don't think. What we have here is..." He paused, wondering if he was even making sense to himself.

"Is what?"

"Something special, Mi-kun," Ruiza smiled. "And I don't want to lose it. I came looking for it - with such long odds... it's no coincidence that we meet again. It was meant to be."

Mi-kun smiled then - broadly - and then laughing like a hyena wrestled Ruiza onto his back and began to kiss him with such passion as to make the blond guitarist heady. On the night table beside the hotel bed, the liquor bottle he had bought was forgotten. Ruiza's only thought was how many times they could make love in one night.

-0-0-0-

With the memory of Mi-kun's lips on his - and Mi-kun's personal cell number stashed on his own cell phone, Ruiza returned to Osaka with hope.

"Be honest with him," Mi-kun had said with unexpected wisdom. "If you talk about your own weakness, you might be able to get him to open up."

So Ruiza returned with hopes that Asagi could be made to see reason. Living with Kisaki wasn't just harming Asagi after all - it only fed into Kisaki's delusions of grandeur. Ruiza felt sad that such a great man had to uphold his lack of self-confidence by taking what little self-respect Asagi had away from him. It would end soon anyway, Ruiza was sure of it. There was that feeling...

It had been a good year... And this is going into our second year... but... we'll see...

It's going to end - one way or another.

-0-0-0-

"There are days I feel good about myself," Ruiza sighed out a puff of grey cigarette smoke into the cold winter air. Under the unusually bright sunlight, he squinted sideways at Asagi, who looked inscrutable behind light sunglasses. "If you know what I mean."

"So your holidays... helped you sort out some things?" Asagi asked delicately, his face neutral as Ruiza nursed his cigarette.

"Some things," Ruiza hedged, suddenly and unexpectedly finding it hard to admit anything to the tall beauty beside him.

For two days now, Ruiza knew that his self-satisfied air (which stemmed from the mere memory of his current lover) probably annoyed the rest of the band - but he found that he couldn't help himself. Standing beside Asagi while taking a break from rehearsal, Ruiza wished that he could somehow hand out his small happiness to the one - ones - that he cared about.

Perhaps Mi-kun is right... if I can't talk about my own problems to Asagi... If I float about in a haze of self-satisfaction - how could he talk about his issues with me?

Glancing again at the tall, serene vocalist, Ruiza sighed.

And he doesn't make it any easier... He's so tall... disgustingly charming, handsome... beautiful... well-put together... well-dressed... It's so hard to imagine him involved in something... sordid....

And yet you know he is involved in something pathetically sordid, another part of Ruiza pointed out. Underneath that serene face must be something...

Ruiza remembered the quiet conversation between Asagi and his mother. The undercurrents of Asagi's quiet conversation had intrigued the blond. Just thinking about it gave Ruiza that strange feeling...

"... right, Ruiza-san?"

As if.... Ruiza tried to put his finger on it - his eyebrows scrunching in thought.

"....za-kun?"

Ah! It was that feeling again! Aki Ross!

" - sorry -"

Asagi's voice finally managed to cut through Ruiza's thoughts.

"Eh?"

"You said something, Ruiza-san..." Asagi blinked at the shorter man, perplexed by Ruiza's puzzling behaviour. "Rui.... are you okay?"

"Oh yes, yes," Ruiza replied hastily, his face burned red with embarrassment "I just... was thinking. Did you say something?"

Asagi's lips twitched upward in a small smile that reminded Ruiza - oh how sharply! - why the tall vocalist was so captivating. Coyness and shy sensuality wrapped up in a tall, self-conscious, quiet man. Ruiza smiled back automatically, wondering what it would feel like to follow Asagi's quick fingers and brush back the taller man's long, dark brown bangs away from his eyes.

"I was just saying we all continue to struggle on in life," Asagi replied simply. He turned to look out over the busy street below their balcony. "All of life is bound up in this struggle - between what is and what should be... between the good and the evil...."

"Like karma?" Ruiza blinked.

"Karma..." Asagi repeated softly and bitterly. "I don't think there is such a thing as second chances. Only judgement."

Ruiza kept his eyes trained forward on the lurching, smoke-belching chaotic mass that squawked and screeched past them. The afternoon rush home had started.

"I'm sorry to hear that..." Ruiza said. "It... makes me worry more."

"I am sorry then. I did not mean -"

"No. It's okay," Ruiza smiled. "I'll get by. I always do. And some things do get better."

"They do?" asked Asagi, another smile gracing his face. "Ah. Your optimism as always."

"Of course!" Ruiza replied sturdily. "Otherwise... why keep on with it all? Might as well end it now."

With that, the blond eyed the ground as it stretched far out before them, several floors down. Suddenly he hoped that the vocalist wouldn't take his encouragement to commit suicide TOO seriously. When it came to Asagi, one never knew...

But Asagi said nothing for a long moment before nodding slowly.

"Perhaps," he said finally.

"More than likely. It's just up to you."

"That's true."

"So, no complaining!" Ruiza said briskly, before realizing (too late) that he wasn't here to scold Asagi - but instead encourage him.

"No," Asagi laughed sadly. "No complaining here."

"You should though."

"I should... pardon?"

"You should complain," Ruiza contradicted himself seriously.

Asagi stared down at his band mate, even more confused than ever.

"I should? I thought you just said -"

"Never mind that. That was my own pep talk there. I am the one who needs to stop complaining and get on with life instead of running away to the things that comfort me the most."

"Like cigarettes."

"Or the drink," added Ruiza with a laugh.

"Or Mi-kun?" asked Asagi, his eyes suddenly sharp.

"I guess, even him."

"It is brave of you to admit it," Asagi said softly, his eyes gleaming with pride.

"Ah. Well..." Ruiza tilted his head. "I just want to live what I suggest. Right?"

"Hmmm.... You are going to suggest something?" Asagi responded, his question light - but his eyes were suddenly flat.

"I was just going to suggest something..."

Ruiza felt, more than ever, that he was trying to coax some wild animal out of its den. The barriers behind Asagi's eyes were fully up by now. Obviously, the tall vocalist was expecting something out of Ruiza's mouth. The blond guitarist just hoped that he didn't live up to Asagi's expectations.

I don't want to hurt him anymore than he already is.

"I just... wanted to remind you that you have a friend in me."

Asagi turned away and smiled a smile at himself, which he only probably would understand if he had a mirror handy to see it. Ruiza's simple pronouncement squeezed his heart tightly within his chest - and for a moment, he could not speak.

"Maybe we all have high hopes for this group... but... You should know that there is a larger horizon out there - and that maybe the dream we have here is a limited kind of dream that is holding us from something bigger and better that is waiting for us out there - if only we were to accept the pain of loss and break out into a larger horizon..."

Ruiza stopped as he realized that he was beginning to make less sense than ever. He sighed out another cloud of grey and drew on his cigarette with a feeling of inadequacy.

"You are telling me to run away," Asagi said. "But I can't... there's too much at stake here. And... there's not many opportunities as you seem to think for me... I'd probably have to start from scratch - alone... and... it's not all that bad..."

"I feel you are unhappy."

"I am not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Are too."

Both men ended the child-like bickering with a short laugh. Asagi looked away unwilling to cede his position on the subject at hand.

"He's been... treating me well..." Asagi said with quiet defensiveness. "It's fine."

"Well... I'm not here to talk about it. I'm just saying that if you ever want to - you know... just blow this whole thing off - I'll walk out with you."

Asagi looked at the short man as if he had grown two heads.

"Ruiza-san," he said rather urgently. "There's no reason to lose a secure job over me. Really." "I'm not. I'm losing a job - with a man who's a liar, abusive and totally messed up. And we all are - messed up. Kinda a requirement to survive in these circles... but... it's just a job. It's not my life. And it's not me. I am more than my job. Who are you, Asagi?"

"Not what you think, apparently," Asagi said quietly, his eyes still guarded - but something unidentifiable lurked there. "You have too high of an opinion of me - putting too much value -"

"I'm not -"

"You are. Have you ever heard of the story of a dream about a gold statue with feet of sand? Kisaki is such a statue, perhaps - but then - so am I."

Asagi looked out over the building.

"So am I."

-0-0-0-

Kisaki threw back two of his pills, gulping down a glass of water after them. More than ever, he hoped for quick relief - as he set down the glass uncertainly. He sat on his sofa, calming himself to the sound of Asagi's quiet breathing coming from the bedroom - and watched his shaking hands slowly still in the dim glow of his lamp.

-0-0-0-

"So you are finally giving up on him?" Shion asked.

"Well. No. Yes. Maybe."

"That seems to be your answer for everything these days."

"Not my fault," replied Ruiza, shortly. "I expect him to make decisions for himself. I can hardly go in there and drag him out of Kisaki's apartment."

"Several months ago, you would have tried."

"Well, let's just say - someone has told me to live and to let live."

"Come again?" Shion turned around, fiddling with a piece of white paper as he watched Ruiza strum out some chords absently.

Shion was always impressed by how Ruiza's capable hands pulled such amazing sweet chords out of his guitar. Fingers flashed as quick as lightning - the small forearms muscled and certain with experience. Behind the drums, Shion rarely saw the full effect of Ruiza's guitar work - except in the quiet times like these - during rehearsal or recording.

"I guess... I just told him I was there to back him up - and that is all I can do, really."

"Ah. I see. So you aren't going to press the matter about Kisaki?"

"Mhm... Well. I'm curious as to what he's been hiding... but..."

"So you'd still be interested in this?" Shion asked, waving the tiny scrap of paper.

Ruiza turned around so fast, Shion wondered how he didn't have whiplash.

"What's that?"

"Information. Random... but it fell into my lap over the break... but it's the apartment block that Kisaki was seen visiting during that weekend... you know the 'disappearance' you were stewing over..."

"Lemme see!"

Ruiza stared down at the address as if within the numbers and kanji some sort of hidden secret about Kisaki might magically come forth. Nothing happened. He looked up and grinned.

"Thanks, Shion!"

"No prob, mate. Anything to get you settled down."

"Oh. This will be interesting."

"There is one condition," Shion noted, enjoying the sudden life to Ruiza's face at the prospect of solving another mystery about Kisaki.

"What's that?"

"I'm coming with you."

"Sure," Ruiza shrugged. "The more, the merrier!"

"But let's not tell the others," Shion suggested.

"Of course not," Ruiza agreed quickly. "They wouldn't understand."

The short guitarist went back to studying the piece of paper before safely stowing it away. Absent-mindedly, he strummed out a quick bar of music. Ruiza's mind was no longer in Osaka.

-0-0-0-

"Well, another PV done. Another single..." Kisaki sighed with contentment, kicking back on the sofa. "And a free weekend. Can't get better."

"I'm off to Tokyo!" chirped Ruiza. "Got a date with Mi-kun!"

"Going with him, as well," Shion nodded. "To keep him out of trouble - and to make sure he comes back on time."

"I was thinking a photo op would be -"

"Photo op? Since when?" Ruiza asked. "You just said 'free weekend'!"

"I did. Mostly free weekend is what I should say."

"When's the photo op?"

"Saturday morning."

"Okay. I can do that."

"You better be able to do that," Kisaki said darkly, his fingers tightening around Asagi's wrist. "You don't even think of going."

Asagi, who had just opened his mouth, shut his lips with a snap and glared at his hands. For a moment, Syndrome uncomfortably tried to ignore the obvious annoyance rolling off Asagi and Kisaki alike. However, unlike Sin who thought that Asagi was once again being bullied for no good reason, Shion was impressed.

He's starting to crack... he mused. One day... that serenity is gonna explode... will I be there? Or will we all be gone before then?

Ruiza watching Asagi's silent set face once again felt as though he were standing on the edge of a precipice that might suddenly turn into a landslide. Somehow, there was something lurking under Asagi's facade that was decidedly dark.

Happy, Asagi? Are you sure? You could have fooled me.

-0-0-0-

As he left the building, Ruiza noticed Asagi striding off, hands in his pockets, shoulders bent. Chasing after the taller man, the short guitarist grabbed his arm - Asagi whirled around, an exclamation of anger rising to his lips - which disappated into the cold wind at the sight of Ruiza before him. For a moment, they stood there, taking stock of each other. Ruiza's suppressed excitement - and guilt -

How can I leave him behind?

Asagi's lightly rosy cheeks that flamed with anger - his dark eyes that sparked with vibrancy and passion. It was quite obvious that the vocalist was upset - but at whom was anyone's guess. Kisaki was the obvious answer... but Asagi was anything but obvious. Shion once suggested that the person Asagi was angry at most was himself... Until then, Ruiza hadn't thought it was possible.

How can someone be so hard on themselves?

"I'll be hanging out at the club... If you tell me the name - I could ask around for you - and pass on a message..." Ruiza trailed off, feeling even more lame than ever.

I'm like a child rubbing it in that he can go to a party that the other is not allowed to attend...

"To whom?" Asagi asked coldly, his hands burrowing even deeper into his coat as he drew himself up to his full height.

"You know..." Ruiza sighed. "That guy you were with."

Asagi blushed then - bringing even more colour to his cheeks.

"I... didn't get his name... or anything," he whispered, staring at his shoes in obvious embarrassment.

"I'm sorry..." Ruiza said softly. "That's..."

"... A shame?" Asagi asked. "Perhaps it's better this way. There's no temptation then."

"And no way out either."

"You still talking about that dream of yours?" Asagi smiled.

His hand rose involuntarily to push one of Ruiza's wild locks away from his face. A token of acceptance and forgiveness, perhaps.

"I'll dream enough for both us," Ruiza replied, feeling odder by the moment. "Until the day you wake up out of your frightful reality."

He walked away then - and as he turned the corner, Ruiza had this odd vision of Asagi, standing tall and dark, hunched against the wind, and wondered what kind of memory would etch such a face in stone.

Is this your dream? Ruiza's eyes seemed to ask him. This is all you have got?

Asagi remembered his anonymous lover's lips and sighed.

That dream... will destroy everything we have now... and what will it bring?

-0-0-0-

Those questions haunted him that night as he lay still, frozen as ice in Kisaki's arms. The bassist snored against the back of his neck. But even worse...

Who are you?

Asagi didn't know.

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