Hidden - chapter 27 up!
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Singers/Bands/Musicians › HIM
Rating:
Adult +
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Category:
Singers/Bands/Musicians › HIM
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
27
Views:
3,360
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
16
THANKS TO VALO FOR POINTING OUT A MISTAKE IN THE LAST CHAPTER!
She isn't dead, oh thank god...everything went to plan. Well, almost, because that's when I wake up. Its been a week since Melindas suicide, and my life is falling apart. Its almost like Elle knows somethings missing - she won't stop crying. I can't remember the last time I got a good nights sleep, whenever I do get a chance to spend a few hours napping, I'm haunted by dreams of Melinda coming lack from the dead, taking my Elle from me, back into the dark abyss of the underworld.
"Elle....sweetie please....sleep...." I coo, its 3:30am, and Elle awoke, crying, at 1am. Ive fed her, changed her, burped her. And nothing works. "Elle...." I whisper wearily, trying hard not to cry. But I do, hot salty tears fall freely from my tired eyes, rushing down my stubble cheeks, dampening the hair I've allowed to grow there simply because I haven't had a chance to shave. "Elle....please..." I whisper hoarsely. She only seems to cry harder. I take her hand, kiss it softly, and try and rock her back to sleep. She quietens for a few seconds, but her cries only get louder still. Finally, I snap. "SHUT UP...JUST SHUT UP WILL YOU!!! GO TO FUCKING SLEEP!" I scream at her, shaking her a little. Her cries become hiccuping sobs, her face red with effort. What have I done!?! She could be hurt.... I hold her close, and rock her gently, and she seems to calm little. "I'm sorry Elle, I'm so sorry...." I whisper. Eventually, she falls asleep against my chest, and I don't dare move all night, falling asleep myself in the chair.
Ryan and Jonne came back to America a few days later. I was meant to meet them at the airport, but Elle was in a foul mood, so they got a cab.
"Dude, I'm so sorry..." Ryan whispered, trailing off. He felt guilty that he and Tink had missed the funeral a week before, he and Melinda were good friends. I simply nod, then shrug, then burst into tears again. Tears of frustration, not grief. Dunn embraces me in a warm, comforting hug, while Jonne pats me on the shoulder.
"It'll be Ok Bam, I promise," He whispers. "Me and Ryan, we'll be here for you. Won't we Ryan?" He glances at Ryan, smiles sweetly. Ryan nods.
"Yeah, we're here, here to help." He tells me. I smile.
"Thanks guys....so, you wanna meet Elle?" I ask Jonne beams, bounces on his heels and claps his hands. I know he and Dunn are looking into adoption, he told me that when in Finland, Jonne became Lily Valos bone marrow transplant donor, and he almost died, and it made them think of he future. Now their engaged, looking to adopt.
"Oh look at her, she's perfect!" Jonne coos, holding her close, grasping her tiny hand in his fingers. Elle doesn't cry, depite just being awoken, simply stares up at the Finn, gurgling away.
"She's beautiful Bam, how did you create something like that!" Dunn teases, as Jonne passes Elle to him. I hit him playfully, laugh.
"Your funny Dunn." I say sarcastically.
Elle doesn't cry at all when Jonne and Ryan are with her. She grasps Jonnes hair, tugs it playfully. She grips Ryan's finger with her whole tiny fist. But with me, she cries, and cries, and cries.... Its almost as if Ryan and Jonne are her real parents.
That night again, Elle spends many restless hours sobbing. She won't sleep, no matter what I do. "Elle, sweetie, please please sleep..." I beg. Again I'm close to tears. Why is this so hard? Why isn't being daddy easy? I break down and start crying, my own hiccuped sobs so like little Elle's. I stop rocking her, stop talking to her. I just sit there sobbing, her struggling form in my arms. Elle again cries harder, starts to choke with her sobs because shes crying that hard. "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!" I scream, shaking her a little more violently than the night before. Still, she sobs, and again, a wave of guilt washes over me. I take her with me into my room, lie on my bed with her on my chest, and allow myself to fall asleep, with Elle still sobbing her heart out.... The next morning, I call Dunn and Tink. They come straight over. Elle smiles, SMILES, the second Tink picks her up, reaches out for him.
"Hey Kulta, look at you, isn't that a lovely smile!" He whispers, kissing her cheek. She giggles, and my mouth drops. Pulling Dunn to the side, I leave Elle alone with Jonne.
"I can't cope without Melinda Dunn, just can't...You take her, take her...take her now..." I tell Ryan straight away, tears of frustration working their way into my eyes again.
"But...she's your daughter!" He protests, shocked that I could even be think such a thing. I shake my head.
"And I can't cope without her mother. So take her, adopt her...isn't that what you and Tink want, a kid..." I say, anger spilling out with every word. Ryan looks shocked.
"Yes, but not like..." He protests, but then he sighs. He can see I'm not coping, my eyes are red, I look pale and ill, thinner....
"You've ranted for ages that you can't find the perfect kid...my daughter is perfect, you both love her...TAKE HER...I can't cope, just can't cope..." I let my tears fall freely now, and Dunn engulfs me in a comforting hug.
"Ok man...if your sure...." He whispers. But he knows I'm sure, knows I can't do this any longer....
"I want you to change her name...from Elle. I don't want her to know she's mine...I just don't want her to know...." I whisper, wiping my eyes. Ryan sighs again, nods.
"It'll be Ok Bam, we'll take good care of her, I promise..."
2 Months later, and Elle April Margera, now Ilta Milla Aaron-Dunn, is now in the permanent care of her new parents. I plunge into depression after that, I want my Elle back....but it's too late, too late to get her back...
She isn't dead, oh thank god...everything went to plan. Well, almost, because that's when I wake up. Its been a week since Melindas suicide, and my life is falling apart. Its almost like Elle knows somethings missing - she won't stop crying. I can't remember the last time I got a good nights sleep, whenever I do get a chance to spend a few hours napping, I'm haunted by dreams of Melinda coming lack from the dead, taking my Elle from me, back into the dark abyss of the underworld.
"Elle....sweetie please....sleep...." I coo, its 3:30am, and Elle awoke, crying, at 1am. Ive fed her, changed her, burped her. And nothing works. "Elle...." I whisper wearily, trying hard not to cry. But I do, hot salty tears fall freely from my tired eyes, rushing down my stubble cheeks, dampening the hair I've allowed to grow there simply because I haven't had a chance to shave. "Elle....please..." I whisper hoarsely. She only seems to cry harder. I take her hand, kiss it softly, and try and rock her back to sleep. She quietens for a few seconds, but her cries only get louder still. Finally, I snap. "SHUT UP...JUST SHUT UP WILL YOU!!! GO TO FUCKING SLEEP!" I scream at her, shaking her a little. Her cries become hiccuping sobs, her face red with effort. What have I done!?! She could be hurt.... I hold her close, and rock her gently, and she seems to calm little. "I'm sorry Elle, I'm so sorry...." I whisper. Eventually, she falls asleep against my chest, and I don't dare move all night, falling asleep myself in the chair.
Ryan and Jonne came back to America a few days later. I was meant to meet them at the airport, but Elle was in a foul mood, so they got a cab.
"Dude, I'm so sorry..." Ryan whispered, trailing off. He felt guilty that he and Tink had missed the funeral a week before, he and Melinda were good friends. I simply nod, then shrug, then burst into tears again. Tears of frustration, not grief. Dunn embraces me in a warm, comforting hug, while Jonne pats me on the shoulder.
"It'll be Ok Bam, I promise," He whispers. "Me and Ryan, we'll be here for you. Won't we Ryan?" He glances at Ryan, smiles sweetly. Ryan nods.
"Yeah, we're here, here to help." He tells me. I smile.
"Thanks guys....so, you wanna meet Elle?" I ask Jonne beams, bounces on his heels and claps his hands. I know he and Dunn are looking into adoption, he told me that when in Finland, Jonne became Lily Valos bone marrow transplant donor, and he almost died, and it made them think of he future. Now their engaged, looking to adopt.
"Oh look at her, she's perfect!" Jonne coos, holding her close, grasping her tiny hand in his fingers. Elle doesn't cry, depite just being awoken, simply stares up at the Finn, gurgling away.
"She's beautiful Bam, how did you create something like that!" Dunn teases, as Jonne passes Elle to him. I hit him playfully, laugh.
"Your funny Dunn." I say sarcastically.
Elle doesn't cry at all when Jonne and Ryan are with her. She grasps Jonnes hair, tugs it playfully. She grips Ryan's finger with her whole tiny fist. But with me, she cries, and cries, and cries.... Its almost as if Ryan and Jonne are her real parents.
That night again, Elle spends many restless hours sobbing. She won't sleep, no matter what I do. "Elle, sweetie, please please sleep..." I beg. Again I'm close to tears. Why is this so hard? Why isn't being daddy easy? I break down and start crying, my own hiccuped sobs so like little Elle's. I stop rocking her, stop talking to her. I just sit there sobbing, her struggling form in my arms. Elle again cries harder, starts to choke with her sobs because shes crying that hard. "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!" I scream, shaking her a little more violently than the night before. Still, she sobs, and again, a wave of guilt washes over me. I take her with me into my room, lie on my bed with her on my chest, and allow myself to fall asleep, with Elle still sobbing her heart out.... The next morning, I call Dunn and Tink. They come straight over. Elle smiles, SMILES, the second Tink picks her up, reaches out for him.
"Hey Kulta, look at you, isn't that a lovely smile!" He whispers, kissing her cheek. She giggles, and my mouth drops. Pulling Dunn to the side, I leave Elle alone with Jonne.
"I can't cope without Melinda Dunn, just can't...You take her, take her...take her now..." I tell Ryan straight away, tears of frustration working their way into my eyes again.
"But...she's your daughter!" He protests, shocked that I could even be think such a thing. I shake my head.
"And I can't cope without her mother. So take her, adopt her...isn't that what you and Tink want, a kid..." I say, anger spilling out with every word. Ryan looks shocked.
"Yes, but not like..." He protests, but then he sighs. He can see I'm not coping, my eyes are red, I look pale and ill, thinner....
"You've ranted for ages that you can't find the perfect kid...my daughter is perfect, you both love her...TAKE HER...I can't cope, just can't cope..." I let my tears fall freely now, and Dunn engulfs me in a comforting hug.
"Ok man...if your sure...." He whispers. But he knows I'm sure, knows I can't do this any longer....
"I want you to change her name...from Elle. I don't want her to know she's mine...I just don't want her to know...." I whisper, wiping my eyes. Ryan sighs again, nods.
"It'll be Ok Bam, we'll take good care of her, I promise..."
2 Months later, and Elle April Margera, now Ilta Milla Aaron-Dunn, is now in the permanent care of her new parents. I plunge into depression after that, I want my Elle back....but it's too late, too late to get her back...