Mending Hearts

Rob watched in amusement as Matt move warily away from him at the bar. He and Shane had started flirting with the older Hardy for fun, but it was humorous as hell to see how Matt reacted to it. Even though he was safe. Well, he was safe enough from Shane at least. Rob knew Shane was seriously involved with Jeff Hardy, but he was the only the one aware of it. Shane and Jeff had sworn him to secrecy when he accidentally walked in on them making out in the locker room towards the end of Jeff's employment.

He couldn't blame them for wanting to keep a low profile right now, as Randy and Chris were still smarting over the fallout of Jeff's decision to leave. Poor Chris, Rob mused. He'd hoped the blond would be able to get over his depression with time away from Jeff, but recovery was slow. Some forms of pain ran deeper than others, and it had already wrecked any possible chance Chris had in a relationship with Randy.

But Rob couldn't understand why Jeff didn't want to tell Matt about the relationship. From what he'd seen in the short time they'd worked together, the Hardy brothers were very close. And Shane was Matt's best friend, so he couldn't see why they hid it from him. Maybe they wanted to get themselves on a sure track before they went public. This was the only answer Rob could come up with. Whatever they decided, it was cool with him. He understood Shane well and knew how hard it was for him to accept his sexuality.

Matt's eyes kept veering back to Rob and the laid back martial artist would just smile in silent invitation. His target's eyes would widen and he'd scurry further away from the bar in an attempt to save himself. Matt was a cutie, especially when he was on the run. He wondered why Shane insisted on keeping tabs on his lover's brother. Rob had dismissed the idea that Shane was attracted to Matt. He only saw humor in his friend's eyes when they ganged up on the dark haired man. No, Shane could love only Jeff these days. Rob didn't want to be the one to break it to him, but he had a feeling it would always be that way. Let him figure that out on his own, though.

Jay suddenly appeared behind Matt and they both looked over at Rob for a second. He flashed them a playful pout and they retreated from the room altogether. Yes, this sure was shaping up to be a fun night.

**************************************

Adam toyed with his cell phone absently while he thought over what he wanted to do. Shannon had gone out for the evening with Chris and Terry, joining Rey and his friends. Adam planned it this way. He didn't want Shannon ear ear the conversation he was about to have. The one he'd been dreading but at the same time anticipating. Jay. He knew he had to set things straight with his former lover now or risk losing his old friend forever. He also risked Jay's reaction to Shannon when he and Adam finally stopped dancing around their attraction and got together.

Adam knew it would happen even if Shannon didn't. He wouldn't push the small blond, as promised, but he could see it in Shannon's eyes. The younger man had come to care about Adam a lot more than either had thought he would. But Adam would let Shannon come to him when he was ready and not because he was seduced. He didn't want the smaller man to ever think their relationship was based on anything less than love. Adam knew Jeff was right. He did love Shannon deeply and he would only do what was best fom. Im. It was good to know that the younger man had developed his own feelings for Adam. The tall Canadian didn't know how he would handle rejection at this point.

He finally stopped twirling the phone and punched in the numbers. This wasn't going to fun.

**************************************

"Man, did you SEE how he looked at us?" Matt demanded as he and Jay got back to the hotel room. "Now I know why women complain about aggressive guys so much."

"He wasn't looking at me," smirked Jay. "Thank God I only have one stalker to worry about."

"Yeah, but Jericho's a doozy."

"Eh. He's less intimidating than Van Dam," Jay shrugged. "He looked like he was eying a steak after a fast."

"Thanks a lot," Matt grumbled as he shoved some workout clothes into a duffle bag. "I'm going to the place he'd least likely be at right now."

"They gym, perhaps?"

"Yeah," Matt laughed. "See you in a couple of hours."

"All right," Jay warned as Matt opened the door. "You be careful out there."

"Sure you don't want to come?" Matt looked over his shoulder. "Jerky's probably at the bar with the other stalkers right now."

"I'm good," Jay replied with a wave of his hand. "Leno's almost on and I like the stupid headlines."

"Suit yourself."

Jay clicked the television on as the door closed. He was watching the sports report on the news when his phone rang. He checked the caller ID before clicking it on. Adam? No fucking way! Something must have happened. He hadn't heard from Adam in months. He muted the television and clicked on the phone.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"Nothing yet," Adam said quietly. "Does something earth-shattering have to happen for me to call you now?"

"Uh no," Jay fumbled mentally kicking himself. "I just wasn't expecting you to call." Good one, Jay, he chided. You don't sound desperate at, no, now do you?

"I've been wanting to call you for a long time, Jay," Adam replied. "I just didn't know what to say."

"Until now?"

"Well, yeah," Adam sighed. "Until all of this shit started."

Ah. So that's it. Adam was protecting his precious Shannon. Jay bit back a tear and held his breath. He should have known Adam wasn't calling to set things right with him. He didn't mean enough to the other man when they were together, why would things be different now?

Everybody was so concerned for Shannon now. Jay hadn't had anything against him before. Hell, he was the first to call Matt to the carpet for what he'd done to the small blond. But now that Adam and Shannon were spending so much time together, Jay couldn't help feeling a little spiteful. Adam, even only in a platonic state, has already shown so much more emotion to Shannon than in all of his years as Jay's lover. And Jay could only wonder what Shannon was giving him that Jay couldn't. He could feel the sad tears silently slip down his cheeks as he tried to collect himself.

"Are you still there?" Adam asked cautiously.

"Yeah," Jay said softly trying to cover his sorrow. "I am."

"I know I can't even begin to apologize for the way I treated you, Jay."

Oh, no you can't, Jay thought.

"But I have to try," Adam went on.

"Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why now?" Jay clarified. "What's so different about now than say last month?"

"I'm not sure I follow."

"It's Shannon, isn't it?" Jay couldn't keep the pain out of his voice. His tears started to flow heavily and he couldn't stop them. He hated himself for letting Adam see his weakness, but he couldn't help it. He was hurting and the other man needed to know what this was doing to him. Sure, Matt was wrong to hurt Shannon. But why did Adam have to be the one pick up the pieces? "You're afraid I'll ruin your chances with him."

"Jay, that's not what this is about," Adam pleaded. "I promise you that I've been trying to figure out how to fix things. And he and I aren't even together."

"Not yet, you're not. But you will be. We all can see that. Even those of us on Raw that never see you know it'll happen."

"Shannon's NOT why I called you, Jay," Adam said softly. "I promise you. I only want to settle things with you."

"So that you can start your new relationship without guilt?"

"Actually, so that I can have my best friend back," Adam responded sadly. "You can't imagine how much I miss you."

"You miss the friendship, then?" Jay asked in a deceptively calm voice.

"Yes."

"You miss the talking, the hockey games we used to go to, the concerts?"

"Yes."

"But you don't miss the love."

Adam didn't respond to that so Jay went on fueled by a rage that had been building inside him for years.

"You don't miss all the times I used to try to cuddle into you at night, only to be pushed away. After a while, I used to wait until you were asleep to do it, so you wouldn't do that to me. I'll bet you don't miss the arguments we used to have about any little touch I gave you in public, do you, Adam? Do you have any idea how worthless I felt when you let loose on me about that?"

"Yes," Adam finally said in a small voice.

"What?"

"I said yes," Adam sniffled. "I knew I was hurting you, Jay. I couldn't give you what you needed from me then."

"But you can now?"

"I . . . what?"

"You're capable of it now?" Jay scoffed. "Just not with me. It comes down to that, doesn't it? You just couldn't love me."

"I did love you."

"No, you didn't," Jay cried. "But you made damn sure I loved only you. I couldn't have your heart, but you wouldn't let go of mine."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't talk about this now, Adam," Jay sniffled. "I have to go."

He hung up the phone and buried his head in his pillow to cry his eyes out. This definitely wasn't a good night for him.