Nobody's Home

A/N: Thanks to everyone who commented.
this part is for Jenn, because I love her so.

I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things you can't undo


It's been ten years. Ten years since my brother killed himself. Some mornings I wake up, feeling the warmth from Frank's body next to mine and just wish that it would be Mikey instead. That all this time has just been a fragment of my imagination.

Sometimes I feel so happy. That I have Frank, to hold me and love me. That he puts up with me, that he doesn't leave me after we fight. That he always, no matter what, is the first thing I see when I wake up, and the last thing I see before I close my eyes to embrace the night.

The fire still runs through my body like electricity as we kiss, as our tongues entwine. As his fingers find mine, sweaty from our actions, I can feel the butterflies in my stomach. Every time the wave of my orgasm, the orgasm Frank gives me, hits me I see stars and my whole body trembles from love. My toes curl, and Frank's name slips past my lips.

Ordinary things, like doing the laundry, are never dull in our house. Our house that is too big for two people, but there has never been uttered even a word about adoption. Me and Frank are happy, just the two of us.

Frank's in a band, and they're getting pretty big. I have my own cartoon, that's aired on cartoon network. Frank turns the TV on every night at 7 pm, and drags me to the couch to watch the new episode with him. It doesn't matter to him that we're almost 30, or that I've already told him about the episode so he pretty much knows what's going to happen. No, it doesn't matter to him. It's just our thing.


If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through


Lilies or roses, matching suits or not, who should be 'the bride' and walk down the altar? So many questions, so many things to plan for a wedding. Our mothers helped. They helped us to pick food, flowers, decorations, suits… you name it, they helped buy it.

Yes, my mother found her way back into my life. She cried, I cried, it was a happy day for everyone involved. She and I talked for hours, sorting through things, our emotions, our fears, our anger. She forgave me for loving Mikey the way I did, she forgave me… And she helped plan mine and Frank's wedding.

It was a glorious day, the day of our wedding. We were both wearing black shirts and white ties. We both wore jeans. It didn't seem right to wear suits when we hated to wear them. It wasn't in a church; it was outside, at sunset. It was beautiful of course. Our mothers cried, and so did Frank. I didn't, I managed to keep from crying. My body was roaring; it wanted to cry. My eyes were burning; they wanted to cry as well. I spent the whole ceremony blinking furiously, hiding my tears. Frank new, he saw it in my eyes. He does that. He reads my eyes, he sees into my soul. He always knows what I'm thinking.

The reception was smooth, the cake delicious, and the speeches that were held heart moving. Something was missing though.


You're the only one
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the star
Back into your arms


We spent every Christmas since then at my mother's house. And every thanksgiving with his parents. My mother is sad that she won't get any grandchildren, but I always joke and say 'oh but I donate sperm mother'. It makes her smile, and Frank always snort with laughter in his special and beautiful way.

No matter what Frank does he's always beautiful to me. Even when he gets off stage, sweaty and reeking with that 'stage' smell. He's beautiful when his hair is dripping sweat, and he's beautiful when he yells at me when we argue.


Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means


I love Frank; I love him so much my whole body aches sometimes. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, in this house, under this roof. Sleeping in our bed, every night. In our sheets, that we bought together as a married couple. I want to eat his crappy food and I want to laugh with him as we make jokes about it resembling road kill.

I want to live the rest of my life with him.


Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everything


But… oh that's a horrible word. You say something wonderful, and add a 'but' and suddenly it's not so wonderful anymore. It's not a joyful announcement, it's a disappointing announcement. A sad announcement. A statement. A truthful statement.

I want to live the rest of my life with Frank, but, that's all I want. For me, this will be 'to death do us part' for real. I'm Frank's until the day I leave this earth, then I'm Mikey's. I always have been, and I always will be. No matter how much I love Frank, he can never be Mikey.

He can never sound like Mikey, or laugh at my jokes like Mikey. He can never kiss me like Mikey, he can never love me like Mikey.

I'm going to spend eternity with Mikey.

I love life, but I also long for death. I long for my Mikey. I long to hold him, to kiss him, to love him. To just see his face. To just hear him joke about my pointy nose or the way I always seem to talk from the corner of my mouth. I think Frank knows. He can see it in my eyes. He does that. He reads my eyes, he sees into my soul. He always knows what I'm thinking. He knows he'll only have me until we die.

I used to fear death, but I don't anymore.

I don't know what waits after it, but I know I won't be alone.

Mikey promised to wait for me, and I will find him somehow.

That's my promise.


And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Because I'm in love with you

The End.

A/N: So I could've gone on forever, but the storyline seemed overused.
I loved this fic, it's my best work without a doubt.

Review and Rate please.