This Time Around

The cameras blinded me as I exited the stretch limo at the Wildcard party, followed by Randy and Simon. Brilliant flashes of light blasted everywhere as we walked into the crowd of reporters, waving and waiting for questioning to begin. I linked hands with the both Randy and Simon, posing for a few group photos before the interviews.

"Paula!" I heard someone from the mob of people call, and I turned to the reporter for Inside Edition, flashing him a brilliant smile.

"Are you happy with this season's Top Twelve?" he asked, sticking a microphone in my face.

"Yes, I'm very pleased with how it turned out." I responded, watching as the reporter glanced at his list of questions. That's when I felt it. Simon's fingers reaching down into the back of my tube top, tugging it farther and farther down.

"Who do you see being the Clay, Kelly, and Rubens of this season?"

"Oh, I see that potential in all of our Top Twelve. I think America has made some great choices, and I am excited to see the season progress."

I could feel the top slipping farther down as Simon fiddled with the clasp on my strapless bra.

"Knock it off Simon!" I giggled, reaching behind me in an effort to remove his hand from my shirt. "Knock it off!"

He laughed as he stopped his interview in mid-sentence, pulling me towards him and wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Do you guys get along, or not, or what's the relationship?" The reporter asked, laughing as Simon continued to poke and prod me.

"We've decided we're going to start a new sitcom," he said, pulling me closer. "Instead of calling it 'Friends', were going to call it 'Enemies'."

I giggled, reaching my mouth towards his wrist and biting down on it.

"Oh come on now, I know you two love each other. On the finale last year, you two ended with a pretty intense make-out session." The reporter continued, directing the questioning back at me. "Can we expect to see more of that this season?"

"Absolutely not!" I said, groaning theatrically and scrunching my nose in mock disgust.

"Sure you can," Simon said, wrapping his arm tighter around my neck. Randy followed not far behind, his arm placed lazily on Simon's shoulder. I turned my head upwards to look at Simon, and he pulled my face to his quickly, puckering his lips as he kissed me- -my eyes widening with surprise when our lips made contact. Simon kept the headlock strong as his eyes bore into mine, and I could hear the catcalls and whistling from Randy and the crowd.

"She wants me," he said as he pulled away, a pleased smirk plastered across his handsome face.

"Yes I want you. I want you like I want a brain tumor," I responded, using my free hand to wipe my mouth dramatically.

"Using those script writers again, I see," Simon said as he pretended to help me wipe my mouth. Instead I opened my mouth wide and my teeth clamped down hard on his index finger, causing him to yelp slightly in response.

"Simon, you are incorrigible," I said, giggling as I pulled away from him, trying to release myself from the headlock he had me in. His hand dropped down, a finger catching and untying the bow on the front of my top.

"Ooh," he said, grabbing one string and pulling it up high, motioning for Randy to grab the other one. They did so, pulling the strings higher as the three of us posed for more pictures.

"Knock it off guys!!" I begged.

"Ooh, look," Simon said with interest, slipping an index finger down the front of my shirt and pulling it back ever so slightly, just enough to give him a quick peek down my shirt.

"Stop it!" I giggled, as Randy did the same thing, looking a little too interested for my comfort.

"Seriously!" I laughed, placing a hand on the front of my shirt and holding it closed. My eyes met Simon's as I looked up, each of us daring the other to be the first to look away.

"Kiss her again!" someone yelled.

Quickly Simon cupped my chin, leaned down and kissed me, this time the kiss lingering just a little longer. I closed my eyes with satisfaction, allowing Simon to kiss me as long as he would before pulling away. I opened my eyes slightly, to find a camera not five feet from us, snapping picture after picture of our smooch.

These will be all over the internet by midnight, I thought to myself with a giggle as I felt an arm slip between Simon and I, pulling me back. I looked up to find Randy laughing at us, his face moving closer to mine. Just as I realized what he was doing, he kissed me too, and I did my best to look pleasant as I returned the kiss.

"C'mon guys, lets go inside, give the contestants a little publicity time," I said laughing when Simon kissed me again.

"We can save this for later," I told Simon in a stage whisper.

"Is that a promise?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes at him and made my way into the lounge, where the American Idol theme music played, the American Idol and Fox logos splayed everywhere. The three of us immediately made our way over to the table designated for the judges, where we joined Erika, Ryan, Shana, and of course, Terri.

We all slid in the circular booth, Simon squeezed between Terri and myself.

I know Simon hates this, I thought sarcastically, smiling at him.

I tried to ignore the left out feeling in the pit of my stomach as I looked around the table. Everyone had a respective 'significant other', and yet here I sat, all alone. Once again, I felt out of place, so I stared down at the menu in front of me while everyone else carried on a light conversation amongst themselves.

I'm sure Simon could sense my insecurity because I could feel his eyes on me, and then a few seconds later he reached under the table, giving my leg an encouraging squeeze. I met his sympathetic eyes as I reached down to place my hand over his. He curled his large fingers around my smaller ones, giving them a tight squeeze.

All at once, the reporters piled in the lounge, followed by the twelve contestants, as the Idol theme music blared through the room. I stood up and applauded, and everyone at the table followed my lead, except Simon, as the finalists filed in, one by one.

Once that was over the contestants all took their places at a table, preparing to give more in-depth, personal interviews about themselves, their families, and what they were looking forward to most about American Idol.

Underneath the table, Simon released my hand, and placed both on the table in front of him in order to help himself up.

"I'm going to get a drink." He announced. "Anyone want anything?"

While everyone gave him their orders, I continued to remain silent.

"Paula?" he asked, forcing me to look up at him. "Want anything?"

"A martini would be great," I said meekly, offering a soft smile. He returned the smile and headed towards the bar, leaving Terri and I side by side.

"So," I said, turning to face her, "How have you been lately?"

"Oh, I've been great," she replied.

Silence.

Don't ask about me or anything, I thought to myself as I waited for her to offer more to the conversation.

"How's the job at Extra going?" I asked, forcing myself to sound upbeat and cheerful.

"It's fine." She responded. 'But I've been promoted as the correspondent for Good Day Live, so I will be at all the tapings for American Idol and reporting on them throughout the week," she smiled smugly.

"Well, that's nice," I said.

"Yeah. And Simon and I are taking a trip down to Barbados this weekend. He loves taking me on vacations."

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

Why do I do this to myself?

I had to get out of there.

"Excuse me," I choked, nearly falling over Randy as I made a quick exit from the table.

I stumbled blindly towards the nearest bathroom, hand over my mouth. Right before I reached the door, I ran smack into Simon, nearly causing him to spill the drinks he was carrying.

"Paula?" he called out as I pushed my way into the bathroom, ignoring him.

"Paula!" I heard him yell right before the door slammed behind me.

I knelt infront of the nearest toilet, using one hand to hold my hair back as I leaned on the other arm for support.

Why do you do this to yourself Paula? Why? He's taken. He's with Terri, and he doesn't love you.

With that I wretched, and continued to kneel for a few moments as I heard the door swing open.

"Paula?" I heard Simon cry out desperately.

"Simon!" I hissed, "You shouldn't be in here!"

"Where are you? Are you okay?" he continued, ignoring my protests.

"I'm fine," I said as I stood up quickly and exited the stall. "I must have eaten something today that didn't agree with me."

"Are you sure?" he asked, rubbing my back in soft circles as I stopped at the sink.

"Yes, I'm sure," I said, smiling at him through the reflections in the mirror as I washed my hands.

"It's about time for the show to start," he said.

"I'll be right there," I told him. "Just want to freshen up a bit."

"Okay," he smiled. "I'm saving you a seat."

And with that he left the restroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Damn you, Terri. If you think you're going to keep me from Simon, you've got another thing coming, I thought with a newfound determination.