Amnesia and Star Child

“C - can I have a few moments alone with him?” Rob asks.
“Sure.” The doctor nods and stands up, followed by the rest of the guys.
Chester takes a moment longer than the rest but manages to pull himself up and leave too.
Rob walks over to me and sits down on the edge of the bed.
“Mike...” He trails off.
“It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done it.” I mumble.
“No I mean before that...” Rob trails off again, fidgeting with his fingers.
“No, that’s what I meant.”
Rob looks at me.
I’m not lying.
“So... That all was a mistake? And cutting up your arms wasn’t? God Mike have you completely lost your mind? I want to know - why did you...?” Rob’s voice gets louder and then fails, his sinister face contorting.
I shrug.
“You’re gonna kill me for saying this - but I just don’t know. Considering the circumstances I’m obliged to ask you the same question.” I reply softly.
Rob hesitates and then deflates.
“I don’t know either. I’m not gay. But...” Rob shakes his head.
I sigh and lie back down.
“I... I liked it.” Rob finishes at last.
God this is going to be messy...
I can’t think of anything to say, so I just lay there as Rob fidgets uncontrollably with the corners of his jacket.
“I’m sorry dude. It was entirely my fault... You shouldn’t think about it. It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.” I mutter at last.
I hope Blue doesn’t do anything stupid...
Rob looks at me; his bottom lip is trembling slightly.
“So all of that... Was wrong? It doesn’t mean anything to you...?” Rob’s voice fails but after a moment he manages to continue. “You bashed me Mike - you tied me to the bed and stuck your cock up my ass - that’s all got to mean something - it means something to me...” He’s choking now. “It’s got to mean something...”
Rob lift up his shirt, and my throat constricts as my gaze falls on the bruises swelling on his chest.
“It’s got to mean something...” He repeats softly.
I close my eyes for a moment, willing myself to not let the despair grow and consume me.
“Come here.” I say after awhile.
Rob hesitates and comes closer to me, watching me through teary brown eyes.
I touch his neck and pull him closer, then lean forwards and let my lips connect with his. Rob’s body relaxes and he closes his eyes, pulling closer and capturing my breath as we kiss again, gradually coming closer together, he’s insisting, wanting it...
But I won’t let it happen again.
I break the kiss and nuzzle his cheek gently before letting my hands drop back to my sides.
Rob looks up at me through his eyelashes in a way that I’d never seen him do before.
“It’s closure Rob. I’m sorry for what I did to you - playing with your head like that deserved punishment.” I lift my bandaged arm to prove the point. “I deserved it.”
Rob’s shoulders sag dejectedly.
“I... I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have let you go...” He trails off and turns, walking hurriedly out of the room.
“Well that could’ve gone better...” I mumble.
I sink back into the pillows and close my eyes.