Snap

Billie hobbled through the door of the ER and over to the nurses station, lead by Mike.

"We need to see a doctor!!!"

"Child, So does everybody else here." Was the surly nurses response.

"Fill out these forms and have a seat over there, bring them to me when you’re done. I’ll call you when it’s your turn."
The nurse pointed to a row of rock hard benches and Billie winced.

They sat and Mike filled out the forms while Billie tried to concentrate on something other than the most excruciatingly painful sex injury of his life.

"This is all your fault!" He said glaring at Mike.

Mike lifted his head from the clip board and stared back at him.” My fault?"

"Yes, your fault"

"I believe you were the one plowing into me"

"Yeah but your the one who tried turning around mid-plow."

"Well..."

"The doctor will see you now." The nurse motioned them to the door.

The pair made their way back to the small sterile exam room. Billie carefully adjusted himself into the paper covered bed.

"Remember....Ladder"

Mike rolled his eyes and agreed.

"Well Mr. Armstrong, what seems to be the trouble?"

"I fell off a ladder"

"Ok, what have you hurt?"

"I hurt.....My..Self."

"He landed on his dick" Mike said from the chair in the corner of the room.

"Oh my, I bet that’s uncomfortable."

"Quite" Billie cringed through grinding teeth.

"Well lets have a look" As the doctor suited up, adding gloves and a face mask to his uniform, Billie slowly pulled off his baggy black pants and red boxer shorts.

"Oh my, this is a strange injury Mr. Armstrong."

Billie blushed. "He knows what we were doing" he thought. To reassure himself he again blurted his alibi..."Fell Off A Ladder!"

"I’ll be honest with you Mr. Armstrong, I’ve never dealt with this type of injury. Let me go get Dr. Drew, the resident urologist."

UROLOGIST! Billie’s discomfort was slowly growing to panic.

"I’ll be right back, don't you go way now"

When the Dr. returned he was not only accompanied by Dr. Drew but with a few straggling med students whom he felt would like to see the case.

"Great now I’m a medical study"

"Alright Mr. Armstrong" Dr. Drew said "Now how did you come upon this injury?"

"I fell off a ladder"

"Really? Did you have an erection up on the ladder?" The impersonal Dr. Drew asked as he handled Billie’s penis.

"No!" Billie yelped, his blush deepening.

"Don’t lie to me Mr. Armstrong, this type of injury is only present with an erection."

"LADDER"

"Ok, then, wow..."

"what?"

"You’ve broken through both the erectile tissue and the urethra."

"What does that mean? Will it ever go down? Will I be able to have sex
again?" Billie’s panicky tendencies were showing.

"Well Mr. Armstrong.."

"Stop calling me that"

"I’m sorry, what would you like me to call you?"

"Billie" The doctor paused his inspection and stared at Billie.


"Alright Mr. Armstrong the typical penial fracture only goes through the erectile tissue but you have also severed the urethra."

"YOU BROKE IT!" Billie exclaimed at Mike, quickly recovering from his out burst and pretending he said nothing.

"What was that Mr. Armstrong?"

"Ladder"

"That’s what I thought: you must have hit with a great deal of force. and at an odd angle."

Billie glared at Mike who was desperately trying to restrain a giggle.

"How will you treat it Dr.?" Mike asked, breaking his eye contact with Billie.

"We will have to drain the area of blood and insert a tube to be sure the urethra doesn’t fill with liquid. Then we will set it in a brace."

Billie never broke his glare at Mike. Now adding a discontented shaking to his death rays.

"He will have to wear a weenie brace?" His laughter nearly impossible to control now.

"Yes, just until the swelling goes down. I’ll have one of the students do the procedure and set you up."

After the large black woman with cold hands drained and set his injury with a considerable lack of gentility, Dr. Drew returned to give after care instructions.

"All right Mr. Armstrong, for the next four weeks I need you to abstain from any heavy lifting, strainging your muscles, sexual intercourse of any kind, even getting excited."
The doctor glanced at mike... "And no ladders."

Now Mike was the one blushing.


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