Who Says Massachusetts Gets All the Fun?

Disclaimer: I don't own them, know them, or screw them. However, the plot is mine, I own Alex and Dakota. My Chemical Romance owns the song

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I love you guys!

Who Says Massachusetts Gets All the Fun?

Part Two: Billie's Got PMS

"Trust me.
I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay,
I'm not o-fucking-kay....."

I walked into the house and shut the door behind me. It looked the same as always. Toys in the kitchen, half a beer on the counter. Billie's eyeshadow smudges on the walls from wiping his eyes and then touching everything.

I felt two arms circle around my waist from behind me. "You're home."

"I'm aware of that." I said, trying to sound a lot cooler than I am. I could feel Billie's clothed erection against my ass and I was getting hard just from his touch.

I turned around when his arms slack and stared at him. H wa's in those leather pants I love so much and one of those tight black shirts that shows off every muscle in your body. He didn't have any make up on. That's sweet. He knows I like it when I can see his eyes unobscured by cosmetics.

"I'm going to fuck your brains out, Mike." he stated simply, his hands sliding from my waist to my shoulders. "And you're going to love it." He pulled me by my hand into the living room and sat down, pulling me with him. Only I was laying and then he straddled my waist. "God, you're easy."

"This coming from the man who discussed threesomes and bondage the first time we kissed."

"Shut up." And then his lips were against mine again. That was so unlike the Billie Joe I'm used to and it was making me harder than ever. There's only been two times before when Billie's topped. But he was never like that. He was giggling silently and acting shy. He was acting . . . well, dominate is a good word.

I moan edas I felt him bite down on my neck, his tongue and teeth working on creating a bruise I had fun explaining away the next day. I slipped my hands into the front pockets of his pants, pulling him down against me. He grinded his hips against mine, our covered erections moving against each other.

"Billie . . . God . . ."

"Awww . . . it's so sweet that you think I'm God." There it is. That fucking giggle. It's like that's a switch because as soon as I hear it, I maneuvered so that was on top and he was on bottom. "Mi-ike." he whined. "I wanted to top."

"Oh, no." I ran the back of my hand along his cheek. "You lost that privelege as soon as you started giggling, my dear."

"But I thought you liked it when I giggled." he protested.

"I like it when you're a bottom." I said, bringing my lips to his. I started fumbling with the buttons on his pants.

The only bad thing about leather pants is that they're a bitch to get off. I think Billie Joe spent about five minutes struggling to get the damn things off. Pretty fucking cute though. By that time the couch had lost it's appeal to me, so I grabbed him and pushed him against the coffee table, but not hard enough to hurt him or anything. We still had to have sex, after all.

I pressed a finger to his lips and he slowly sucked it into his mouth, licking it. If anything, that made me harder. I shoved that finger in him, slowly followed by another nonlubricated digit. He moaned and his hands gripped my shoulders tightly, his fingernails digging into my skin.

While my two fingers were still working on stretching him, although he barely needed it, my other hand was searching in that little drawer underneath the coffee table for lubricant. I found it and discreetly poured some into my hand and then stroked my own length. God, I wanted him so bad.

I threw the bottle across the room and pulled my fingers from Billie Joe's opening and entering him in one quick thrust. His eyes went so fucking wide . . .

"Did I hurt you?"

"Hurt me? Jesus Christ, Michael. Of course, you didn't hurt me. Now stop asking stupid questions and fuck me!"

My right hand still hand a thin layer of lubricant on it and that was the hand I used to stroke him off as I thrust in and out of him quickly. His moans were like a fucking soundtrack. "Jesus . . . Mike . . . holy . . . fuck . . . shit . . . there . . . oh fuck . . . harder . . ."

He tried to arch his back once, but the back of his head hit the coffee table a little too hard. "Fu-uck. Abusive . . . fuck!"

I grinned and moved my hand faster, knowing he was close to climax. Sure enough, he exploded in my hand and I came inside of him. God, he's so hot and no matter how many times we fuck, he's still so tight.

"Mike?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"The coffee table hurt my head."

"Oh, poor baby." I moved over to the couch and sat there for a moment, licking his come off my hand. He sat down beside me and helped, after which we kissed, enjoying the taste of him and of each other.

"Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"When you threw that bottle, you left a huge mark on the wallpaper."

"Shut up."

"I told you we shouldn't have gotten oil-based."

"Shut up, Billie Joe."

*

"Okay, so I get a maid of honor and you get a best man and Alex and Dakota are flower girls." Billie said, ticking everything off on his fingers. "And nobody walks down the aisle?" He buried his head in his hands. "I'm so confused. Somebody has to walk down the aisle because Adie walks down the fucking aisle."

"Do you want to walk down the aisle?" I asked, putting my arm around him and kissing his temple.

"No." he said. "Maybe. Well, why not? I mean, I'm obviously playing the role of the bride, right? So why can't everyone stare at me and say how pretty I am?"

I laughed and pulled him up by his chin to kiss me. "If you want to walk down the aisle, Billie, go right ahead."

"Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy!" Dakota ran into the room screaming and jumped into my lap. Alex was sucking her thumb and still securely attached to Adie's hand. She detached herseslf slowly and made her way to the couch.

Billie Joe jumped up, gave Alex a quick kiss, handed her to me and then ran over to his best friend. "Adie Adie Adie!" He threw his arms around her and kissed her cheek.

I don't know how we found each other. This is the most fucked up relationship in the world.

"Daddy, Adie made us cookies." Dakota said.

"Did she? That sounds like fun. Alex, did you have a good time last night?" I asked. My blonde haired daughter just nodded, her thumb still in her mouth. "Alex, you need to quit sucking that thumb."

Billie Joe giggled then, loudly. ". . . and maybe flowers? Flowers in your hair? Wouldn't that be neat? Like cream roses or something? Oh, God." He turned and looked at me. "Mike, we still have to pick wedding colors."

He turned back to Adie and grabbed her hand. "I was looking at this thing in some magazine. It's upstairs. Come on, I'll show you." Adie's arm was nearly dislocated when Billie took off running up the stairs.

*

"Mike?" Billie was shaking my shoulder at about three in the morning.

"Ungh?"

"Mike!"

"Wha?" I pulled the pillow off my head and sat up, thorougly annoyed. "Billie, what the--"

He kissed me and I noticed his cheeks were wet. "Billie, what's wrong?" All my annoyanced was replaced with concern.

"I'm scared." he whispered, resting his forehead against mine. "I'm so scared."

"Of what, baby?"

He threw his arms around me. "Of getting married."

"Billie, we've been together for ten years. There's nothing to be afraid of. This is just the next step." I kissed his cheek.

"It's not that." he whispered.

"What is it, babe?"

"I don't know what to wear."

I hit him in the head with my pillow and went back to sleep, or tried rather. Big mistake. Two minutes later a gigantic whine filled my ears. "Ad-die! Mike hit me!"

Jesus Christ!

* Fast Foward 1 Month*

"I need something gold, something new, something borrowed, and something blue."

"Something old, not something gold." Tre said. "And you call yourself the bride, Billie?"

Billie stuck his tongue out. "Fine. Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue." He thought for a moment, his head bobbing from side to side. "Well, my boutinierre's blue. And my shoes are old. And I'll get new boxers. And now I have to borrow something."

"How about those earrings you stole from me and never gave back?" Adie said, lighting a cigarette. "The silver ones."

"Oh, you mean the ones I got you for your half birthday?" Billie asked.

"Yeah, those."

"Okay. So, I've got those. What else do I need?" He maneuvered himself in the chair so that his feet where were his head should have been and his head was dangling off the side.

"If you only had a brain . . ." Adie sang sweetly.

"Hey!"

*

"MIKE!" Billie Joe was screaming and throwing wedding catalogues into the fireplace again. "This is never going to work! My tux looks stupid, blue is the most horrendest color to ever be created, and roses are the spawn of Satan! And no matter what Tre says, that is not a good thing!"

"Babe," I said, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind, "it's going to work out, I promise." I kissed the top of his head. "Don't worry. It's going to be fine, all right?"

Billie sniffled and nodded. "Okay."

"Billie, I've got the cake book from the bakery!" Adie called, slamming the front door behind her.

Billie Joe burst into tears.

*

Billie shook me awake at five in the morning this time. "Mike?"

"What?" I asked, rolling over.

Billie waved a box in front of me. "You know how I've been crying all the time?"

"Yeah." I said.

"Well, I bought a pregnancy test and I want you to wait with my for the results, okay?"

I sat up and grabbed Billie by his shoulders, pinning him to the bed. "You are not pregnant. You are just a hormonal flaming queer who's sweating about his wedding. Go take a Midol and get some sleep."

He sniffled, but nodded. "Can I have some chocolate?"

I rolled over onto my back. "God, yes. Have all the chocolate you want. Go watch the Lifetime movie network. Paint your nails. But for the love of God, let me get three more hours of sleep."

---

Okay. Next scene: getting ready for the wedding.