When Worlds Collide

He was running late but hoped he'd only missed the first few songs. He parked his car around the corner and raced to the front door where his friend greated and let him in. They moved swiftly through the lobby of the Wiltern and pushed the auditorium doors open. He nodded his thanks and made his way around the back of the crowds, staying to the far side, out of the screaming crush of the cheering fans.

---

They had made it nearly half-way through the show and things were going perfectly. As the last cord to Umbrella echoed through the hall, the crowd went wild, jumping up and down, screaming their names as if their lives depend on it. Die grabbed a few pics off his mic stand and ran up to the edge of the stage. As he moved along the front, tossing pics into the outstreched arms, when something caught his eye. He peered towards the back, right side of the auditorium and frowned, not quite believing what his mind had alrady guessed.

Shinya twirled a drumstick, then tossed it into the crowds, a small smile spreading across his delicate features. He turned to follow Kyo and Kaorubackstage, when he noticed Die out of the corner of his eye, marching towards Toshiya. The bassist was lauging and teasing the young girls in the front row, leaning close but just far enough to stay outof their reach just inches away. His brow furrowed as he joined them at the edge of the stage, Die reaching down and pulling the bassist to his feet, leaning close to his ear.

"Look to the far right," the guitarist murmered, "all the way to the back, just outside of the crowd line where crew members and security only are allowed to stand."

Toshiya eyed his friend curiously, for a moment forgetting the screaming fans below them and turned his gaze to where the other man had indicated. The crowd surged back and forth, but finally settled and through the dimly lit hall he could just make out a man standing apart of the others, his arms crossed nonchalantly over his chest. Toshiya's eye's grew wide as he began to recignize the same man he'd seen the night before, a broad grin spreading over his face. "But that's-"

"That's Kisaki, dumbass!" Die hissed as Shinya threw them a worried look. With a final glance at the back of the auditorium, Die grabbed ahold of Toshiya's arm, nearly dragging the startled man backstage.

Shinya stood at the edge of the stage a few moments more, not really seeing or hearing the fans anymore, his honey brown eyes solely focused on a face he'd not seen in many years. For the briefest of moments, he could have sworn they made eye contact before the crowds surged again and his site was blocked.

The drummer blinked several times, shaking his head, then followed his bandmates.

---

"Die, let go of me!" Toshiya pulled his arm from the guitarists grip and stepped back. Several passing crew members eyed them curiously before Shinya look both men by the arms and marched them into a nearby bathroom.

"That is Kisaki." Die said as soon as the door had closed firmly behind them.

Toshiya shook his head. "Surely not. Why-"

"It's true."

The arguing men turned toward the quiet drummer, who crossed his thin arms self-consciously over his narrow chest.

"I saw him." Shinya continued. "I'd never forget his face."

Toshiya's brow furrowed as he narrowed his eyes at the quiet man. "Are you sure? I mean, it was crowded, and kind of dark.."

"I'm sure." the blonde insisted. "We were all friends for a long time." he looked away, voice dropping to little more than a whisper. "That was him alright."

"I'm just.. surprised he didn't say anything." Toshiya said, still disbelieving. " He seemed so nice, friendly, flirtatious even..."

"Well, Tochi, he probably didn't want you to know who he really was." Die snorted. "After all, you essentially replaced him in the band. He probably assumed you've heard all kinds of bad things about him by now."

"Do you still dislike him?"

Shinya and Die exchanged long glances.

"Not really... " Die replied carefully. "I mean, I didn't know him nearly as well as Shin and Kaoru did."

"I did know him well." Shinya spoke up, softly. We.. I was hurt when he decided he had to leave La:Sadies, but I can't say I was surprised". A tiny smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. "He and Kyo never could get along."

Toshiya shook his head, absently scratching his arm. "I wonderwhy he decided to come, knowing that you if I could see him, you guys would probably see him as well."

"Hell, I'm surprised those fans haven't recignized him yet." Die said, then paused. "Though perhaps over hear they may have heard of him, but might not actually recignize him." The guitarist shrugged. "You were probably just a curiosity to him, nothing more. You never did meet him, did you?"

"No, never did, or I would have recignized him... maybe..." Toshiya sighed. "He did seem surprised to see me-"

There was a knock on the door and Kaoru poked his head in.

"Where have you guys been?! We've got to go back on stage!"

"Ah, gomen, Kaoru," Toshiya started, "I, uh-"

"I wasn't feeling good." Shinya said. Their leader's face grew concerned but the drummer waved it away. "I'll be ok."

Kaoru looked around, then nodded. "Alright, let's get out there." Shinya pushed past the other two, sticking close to their leader as Kyo materialized from another hall, a wet towel wrapped around his shoulders. Die grabbed ahold of Toshiya, making sure to stay several paces behind the others before leaning over close to the bassist.

"Don't tell Kaoru or Kyo that he's here." He murmered as they walked back onto the stage. "If they see him, fine. But they'll be unhappy and the longer they don't know the better."

---

The rest of the set went smoothly, but no matter what happened, no matter how excited the crowds got or what silly stunt Kyo pulled, Toshiya could not stoip thinking about one person hidding somewhere in the audience. He had not been able to spot him since they started the second half of the live, but he knew Kisaki was still out there, watching him, watching them. He didn't know why, and something about that made him a little nervous, but also a little excited. Whatever problems the others may have had with him in the past, Kisaki seemed like a nice guy, and perhaps, if he did happen to run into him again, maybe he'd be willing to give him the benifit of the doubt.

Drumsticks, pics, waterbottles and anything not nailed to the floor, all throw into the audience and the five members of Dir en Grey finally left the stage, laughing, sweating, hearts racing. They shuffled weirily towards the dressingroom, breaths still coming in gasps. Kyo, who was walking a few paces ahead of them, sudden'y shook head whole bopdy like a dog, what flying off of his head in all direction.

"Ack! God, Kyo!" Kaoru exclaimed, trying tlo shield his face from the sweaty, water covered man's assault. "Thanks, I needed that. Really."

The shorter man grinned and pushed open the door to the dressingroom, running over to the couch and collapsing on it with a heavy sigh.

"Just one more...." their vocalist said, his words muffled by the pillow he was face down in. Kyo suddenly sat up and yawned. "So, who's hungry?"

---

Back at their hotel, the five men lounged in Toshiya and Kaoru's room, having settled on chinese takeout ordered in. A knock sounded on the door and Toshiya hopped up from the floor and peaked his head out. A roady handed him a letter, then disapeared down the hall. Perplexed, Toshiya opened the note, read who it was from and stuffed it back into the envelope.

"Whatcha got?" Kyo asked, sipping loudly from his bowel of noodles.

"Uh, nothing," Toshiya said, stuffing it into his pocket. "Just some silly note from a fan." Toshiya blushed slightly and resumed his seat beside Die. The guitarist eyed him carefully, then turned his attention back to his chicken and rice.

---

Later that night, Toshiya snuck out of the room he and Kaoru were sharing for the night and into the bathroom, closing the door behind him before turning on the light. It had been the first chance he could get away from the others, now that Kyo, Die and Shinya had all retreated to their rooms for the night. He sat on the closed toilet seat and pulled the folded envelope from his pocket. He unfolded the single sheet of paper and read it carefully.

Toshiya-

I don't know if this will get to you right away, but I just wanted to tell you I enjoyed the performance greatly. You and the band have come a long way in 10 years.

By now, I'm sure you know who I am, and my past relations with your bandmembers. I hope that you do not hold this against me. I would still like to meet you again, before all of you go back home, if you have time. I don't know what you are doing tomorrow mornoing, but I have to be at the practice studio on Wilshire until nnoon, but if you want to grab a coffee or something...? I would like that very much.

Either way, it was very nice to see you perform. Perhaps we will meet again some other time.

-KISAKI