Seize The Day

The three days after Zacky’s departure were the most depressing three days of my life. I did have to go in for questioning. The cops grilled me. I told them I knew nothing. They asked me if I remembered anything physical about the robbers.

I only remembered the tall, thin man who shot and killed my best friend before my very eyes. I could recall in great detail the forest green shade off is eyes, the gaunt shape of his face, and the gruff sound of his smoker’s voice. But that was all, as the rest of his body was concealed from me.

I never went to the funeral. I had no intention of in the first place. I would have lost it if I had. I know he wouldn’t have wanted that. Instead, I stayed at what used to be our apartment and guzzled down whatever alcoholic beverages that were left.

I’m not a bad friend. I may be a bad person, but I am not a bad friend. I did go to visit him after the funeral was over. I lay with him for hours just talking, not knowing if he could actually hear and not really caring either way.

I believe that Zack could hear me. It felt as though he was talking back. His strangely colored eyes lit up with emotion and he leaned forward with curiosity in my head as I went on. I didn’t ask him questions. I just told him how I was and how badly I missed him and that I would visit everyday.

Before I knew it the sun was already setting. I said my goodbyes to Zack and left the cemetery with haste. The guys would be pissed that I left without saying anything.

I tiptoed through the hallway to our door. It was night now. I paced the key in the lock and slowly turned it and pushed in. the creak of the old door was like a cheesy horror movie scream in dead silence. I opened it only enough for my body to slide past and get into the front room quietly and safely.

As soon as I shut the door, the lights went on. Sitting on the couch was Matt, John, and Jimmy, all wearing matching serious faces. My mouth hung slightly open, I think from being drunk. I could tell from the wet line of drool running down my chin.

“Brian,” said Matt. He was always firm when using my real name. “we seriously need to have a talk.” He looked at our two other friends who nodded in agreement.

“We really miss Zacky, Syn,” said Jimmy with a look of concern on his face. “And we also know that you miss him. He was really close to you, same with us.”

John took over, “We just don’t like to see you moping around all depressed and shit. You need to just make the best of it—.”

“Make the best of it?” I questioned, cutting him off. “I just saw my best fucking friend get shot in the back and you want me to make the fucking best of it?”

“Syn, don’t get mad,” Matt said, “We’re just trying to get you out of your cave.” His face was sincere and his words true. “I know this sounds really lame, but Syn, you’ve gotta come out.”

I sat in silence for a while. We all did. After a moment or two, I asked quietly if I could have a beer. Jimmy rose from his place on the couch to get one for me. He returned with the open beer and handed it to me. I nursed at the glass tip, slightly in a daze. But then I could hear Matt’s voice say: “We need a new guitarist, Syn.”

I practically spat the liquid all over my pants. “What?” I exclaimed. I didn’t even have to say anything. My facial expression spoke for me, I could tell.

“You wanna go on tour or not?” asked Johnny. I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or rhetorical.

It would be horribly lonely and sad on tour without Zacky. There would be an empty presence just floating around. But I know he wouldn’t want us to be depressed. He wants us to tour and have fun and live life. I nodded and murmured a yes.

“Okay then,” John said, “It’s settled.”

“What’s settled?” I asked.

“Auditions are tomorrow,” Matt said.

“Auditions?” I said. “How on Earth are you going to find someone as great as him in less than a day?”

“Well,” Jimmy started, “we put up flyers around town and ads on the internet a few days ago. A lot of kids are supposed to show up.”

I sighed, not sure if this was right or if it would work. We had to tour; we just had to. If we didn’t, it would be a huge let down for Zack and the fans.

We all went to bed because auditions started early the next day. I could barely get to sleep but when I did, all I could help but do is dream of my best friend and the small hope of us finding another soul with his talent and heart.

A/N: yes, short. The next one should be up in a few days! [yay, long weekends].