Collapsing Defenses

here is the next installment of this story. I have a general idea and direction i have for this story's beginnings but im still not sure how it will all come together at the end. Hope it all works out *crosses fingers*

Anyways, enough about my insecurities. On with the story...

~~Chapter One~~


Jazzie opens the boot of her car and throws in the one suitcase she had and headed towards the driver side hatch to get in. I struggled to put in the remaining 3 large pieces of luggage as I roll my eyes up at her, mentally thanking her sarcastically.

“I saw that” she giggles back as she takes her seat behind the wheel.

I click my tongue, feigning annoyance, and rolling my eyes up once more as her giggles become muffled when she closes the driver side door.

I slam the boot shut and made my way towards the passenger side door and getting in to settle onto the soft cushion of the seat, a welcome change from the stiff ones I had to endure on the train. She turns the key to the ignition and begins to maneuver out of the car park.

The first few minutes of the ride was spent in silence as Jazzie concentrates on the road and me staring out the window at the passing buildings of this unfamiliar territory.

“So,” she starts casually, “how’s Mum?”

The hidden meaning not going unnoticed by me, I frown slightly.

“She’s been well,” I start, “She wants to move away from that horrid neighborhood,” Jazzie raises an eyebrow, noticing the venom in my voice as I say the word horrid, “and since I’m here attending sixth form, she now has the time to look around for a new house.”

I pause slightly to regain my composure before continuing

“We haven’t seen or heard from Dad since. . .” I trail off uncomfortably. “I don’t think he will ever be back.”

I never take my blank eyes from the window, yet I can sense my sister’s somber eyes on the back of my head.

“How have you been?” she asks quietly, concern laced in her voice. My shoulders drop a little as I reply.

“I’ve been well,” I whisper back simply. I take a deep breath as I continue, “I’ve been recently off the medication.”

I turn my head slowly towards Jazzie, her concerned eyes staring back at me. I break eye contact and fidget nervously because her attention was no longer on the road ahead, but also because she is looking at me with those eyes filled with so much worry. I hate when people look at me that way. I don't want anyones' pity.

In hopes to sooth my nerves, my shaky hands dig through the pockets of my trousers searching for relief. Pulling out a small box, I look at Jazzie questioningly.

Jazzie looks down at the pack of cigarettes held in my hand, and then worriedly nods back at me. Those eyes boring into mine again. Sensing my discomfort, she turns her attention back on the road as I tap out a stick of tobacco, placing it between my lips and lighting it.

I take a deep drag from it, my fingers pressing the button on the car door to open the window and blowing out the smoke.

I continue to take drags out of my cigarette, each breath of it relaxing my tense muscles, expelling both the smoke and my uncertainties, but I was still aware of the slight tension left from the previous conversation.

Jazzie shouldn't worry about me. I really have been well, my mind provided, but not sounding convincing. My eyebrows knit together, scowling at myself as I realize that I just put myself down.

Jazzie breaks my reverie, “Well,” I take in another drag and give my sister a sideward glance. I see her lips curving slightly into a smirk, her eyes still staring forward.

“Have you gotten yourself a boyfriend yet?” She cocks her head to the side and shifting her eyes towards me, a glint of mirth evident in them.

The tension lifts as I grin back at her, my eyes squinting as I do. I let out a giggle, the smoke from my previous drag leaving my lips and escaping towards the open window.

“My dear sister” I retort mockingly, “that is none of your business.” We both laugh out loud.

The rest of the ride back to hers was filled with Jazzie narrating her life away from home and other light hearted conversation.

After several minutes, I began to ignore her as she started to tell an uninteresting story about her past roommate, nodding to her occasionally to continue.

As I stray off thinking of my life ahead, one same thought always seems to pop into my mind every now and then.

Starting anew, I smile.

~~ To Be Continued ~~

I edited some parts to both the prologue and chapter one in hopes to give it a little bit more substance.
(its a habit i need to learn to get rid of, or maybe find a beta. I really cant make up my mind sometimes)

Anyways... COMMENTS PLEASE!