Auschwitz - COMPLETE

Ville
I continued to walk left until I was ordered to stop. I looked at my fellow prisoners - of which there were so few, no more than 100 of us. 100. Out of the thousands that were transported in the cattle trucks with us, only these few remain. A German SS guard with a dog started yelling at us. His voice alone sent fear running down my spine, but that was nothing compared to what he made us do.

"Strip down now! Make it quick! Leave your clothes in neat piles at your feet. You will be returning for them shortly."
No one moved.

"Now your Bastards, MOVE!" He screamed. I gulped, slowly I removed my soiled, damp, torn clothing. I folded everything neatly, left it at my feet, and stood, naked, embarrassed, waiting for more orders. Some men were crying, and others still refused to move. The guards temper was rising, I could see the blood rush to his face. He pulled out a gun, and shot the nearest man still clothed. He dropped dead immediately and I had to bite my tongue to stop myself sobbing as he released his dog, which began to feast on the corpse. Within 5 minutes, everyone was, like me, standing, waiting, embarrassed and naked. We had no idea what would happen to us. We marched through the camp, in front of many other prisoners, until we reached a shower block. Gas chambers? No...the smell of death isn't strong enough here. The overwhelming stench I felt before did not register. These were normal showers. I breathed a sigh of relief as the guard pushed us inside. I cried out as he butted the back of his gun into me. Like before, things weren't moving quick enough for his liking. I moved faster, hoping it would save me from the other end of the rifle.

We stood, huddled together, shivering with fear and with cold. Waiting. While I didn't know what could be going on, I was sure of one thing. No matter what happened to me. I'd have to wait. In a way that was worse that what could happen to me. As you stand there, things go through you head. Terrible things that you never thought imaginable but you know could happen.

Once the room was full, water was turned on. And it was bliss...pure bliss...luke warm water poured over my filthy, aching body, washing it of my so called sins. Sure, I was sharing the water with dozens, but I was clean. Within 2 minutes, the water went from lukewarm, to cold. It made many, including myself, shriek. I shivered as the water, colder than the air outside, poured over my body. When it finally stopped, I hoped that we could dress again, but we were lead out a different way.

Each prisoner stopped before a man bearing a sponge-like glove on his hand. The gloves stank of disinfectant. The men ran the gloves over each prisoners head, and anywhere else hair might grow, before sending them into the next room. The disinfectant stung, and I felt like my skin was burning. Not only that, but the stench was so strong, I could barely breath for almost 2 minutes.

Blue and white stripped uniforms were handed to us as we entered the next room, we were ordered to dress. I did as I was told and slipped the uniform over my skeletal frame, relishing at once that the clothing would hang off me. It did.
Again we were moved rooms. No waiting around now, it seems they wanted to hurry us through anything that may give us hope.

I heard a buzzing as I entered the room, and looking around, I soon knew what was about to happen to me. Each prisoner was to be tattooed with their number. It terrified me, that number would be with me forever, a constant reminder of who I wasn't, and a reminder of who I shouldn't be, but I was.
I was help down in my chair, like the others before me, as my number was inked roughly onto my upper left arm.

'No. 2334790'

I barely felt it.

Again I was moved rooms. This time into a room I knew was coming right from the start. Again I was sat in a chair, but this time, I was not held down. I sobbed as a guard took a pair of scissors to my hair, chopping its length to a feeble 1cm, gravity defying length. Unlike many others, my head was not shaved. I couldn't seem to work out why, but when I looked around me, I relished that they just didn't have the time.

"Get out of the chair you pussy! Only girls want long hair!" cried the guard, plunging the scissors into my shoulder for extra measure. I screamed out, but got lucky. The scissors were blunt, and my wound was shallow.
I, along with the other prisoners, were pushed outside. It was now dark, cold, and empty. The prisoners already part of the camps system had been send to bed. We were led to barracks. We stopped outside a seemingly empty one.

Inside stood no more than 20 bunks. There were 100 of us here! How could they put us in here!
Like with the showers, the guards yelled harshly and butted us with their guns to get us inside quickly. I soon found myself on a bottom bunk with 4 others. Luckily I was against the wall. At least I wouldn't fall out.
The guards told us we would be awoken for role-call early the next morning, and that anyone not present would be beaten to death, naked, in front of everyone. The door was then shut and locked, and we were plunged into darkness.

Next to me, a blonde man was sobbing. I turned to face him. He looked familiar, but it wasn't until he looked at me that I relished who he was.
"Jonne?" I asked. He smiled through the tears, it was him alright! We used to be classmates in music at school. He was in the bottom year, and I was in the top, but they put us together because they believed we would work well together. And we did! But It wasn't long before we were separated
"Ville! What are you doing hear?" He asked. I smiled, despite everything.
"I could ask you the same thing!" I replied. He sniffed in response, so I pulled him into my arms. He was thin, thinner than me. And he was shaking.
"You okay?" I asked him. Another sniff.
"They killed my grandmother. They shot her when she left the cattle trucks - right in front of me. I can't take it Ville, I want to die!" he cried into my chest. I stroked his back softly. My hand brushing against the sleeping man on his other side.
"They killed Linde too...He died at my feet," I said, finally letting a tear for my friend fall. I felt him nod.
"I know I'm dying Ville...I'm not going to fight it..." He whispered. I simply held him tighter.
"I understand Kulta...I Understand..."
"I'll miss you, I'm glad I saw you before...well, before I die." I sobbed and kissed his forehead.
"I'll miss you too Kulta...but You'll be free," Again, I felt him nod, but he said no more.

Jonne died in my arms. And there was nothing I could do.

All night, around me I could hear sobbing, muttering, screaming. People were dying around me. By morning, the stench of death was as over-whelming as the disinfectant from the day before.

As I lined up for role-call, I noticed Jonne's body being taking from the barracks by the guards. He was thrown, like so many others, onto a pile, as if he were simply a piece of cloth, after his number was checked.

Once the bodies were removed, role-call began, and that's where I saw him. The beautiful blue eyed guard that had played God only the day before. He looked lightly shaken, but otherwise expressionless. He walked amongst the prisoners, checking we were neat and tidy. He slapped those who weren't tidy enough. When he reached me, I saw something sparkle in his otherwise clouded blue eyes. He nodded at me, his curls tumbled over his face, hiding his face for all to see. All but me. He smiled, I saw it as clear as day.

After roll call, we went to clean. Again we were stripped, our clothes were put in a neat pile at our feet, but this time I knew we would return to them. It took almost 3 hours to get to the toilets. We were given 2 minutes to do our business before we were moved on. 2 minutes with 4 toilets and 90+ prisoners. Impossible. Many ended up soiling the floor.
Then we were moved onto the washrooms. He was there. His blue eyes caught my own as I entered. I blushed, and so did he. That confirmed it. He liked me. It was then that I noticed that there were 4 bodies, already against the wall, rotting.

I climbed into a tub, and the blue eyed guard came over. One by one, he dunked each other person under the water, held them down for 5 seconds, before letting them up and forcing them out. Then he got to me. He held his hand over my face and pushed me down. But not right down. Although it looked like my face was submerged from any other angle, my nose and mouth remained above water. The blue eyed guards hand covered them from view. As he let go, I pretended to cough and choke, and again, he put his head down,
"Out!" He cried. His voice was harsh, but behind it was his smile.

Bam
After finishing the selection process, I headed over to the gas chambers to supervise the Sonderkommandos. I knew what I had to do while here, and it scared me. I was about to murder over 800 people at once, many times over. The thought alone made me sick to my stomach. One of the Sonderkommandos was acting oddly, so I kept an eye on him. My suspicions were confirmed as he tried to stop people going into the gas chambers. I knew what I had to do...and what would happen if I didn't. Raising my rifle, I aimed, and fired. He dropped dead.

I had just killed someone...Oh God! I was a murderer! How could I?

I kept my face expressionless as I lowered my rifle. But inside I was sobbing. I marched forward and screamed at his shocked fellow inmates. I told them to get back to work or they'd suffer more of the same. They quickened their paces and soon they were transporting the Zyklon B pellets, towards the chambers. Another group of workers had started to sort through the prisoners possessions.

I marched towards a large group of prisoners. Most of them had stripped, but not all of them.

"You were told to STRIP! So do it! Now!" I screamed, holding up my gun, I pointed it them. They did as they were told, and the reality hit me. Children were sobbing. The elderly were in shock. Mothers tried in vain to comfort their offspring and fathers tried to comfort mothers. It was heartbreaking. How could I be doing this?

Once everyone had been stripped, I got their attention.

"Listen! You are going to be showered! Do not be afraid! A gas will be released, but this is to cure all sickness. Breath it in deep. Remember where your belongings are - you will be returning to them later." I said calmly. But it didn't matter what I said. They knew what was coming.

The Sonderkommando marched the prisoners to the chambers and cramped them in. All I had to do was watch, they were well trained - it was all they could do to survive.

The doors to the chambers shut, and I heard the Zyklon B pellets being poured into the vents. The smell of cyanide filled my nostril's as the sound of a thousand screams reached my ears. I had to bite my lip to stop tears escape my eyes, and screams escape my lips.

Half an hour later, and all was quite. Everyone inside those rooms was dead...and I was respecified...

The Sonderkommando began to remove the bodies 10 minutes later. It was the most sickening sight I had ever seen. The bodies were drenched in sweat, covered in human waste. The eyes of the dead were still open. The fear was still on their faces.

"Move them to the furnaces, NOW!" I screamed. The quicker the bodies were transferred, the better.

Within minutes every furnace was full. But the bodies kept coming. What the hell could I do? Luckily, mass graves had already been dug out behind the furnaces. I ordered that the remaining bodies be taken there.

The mass heap of human remains quickly grew. Once the chambers were empty, I ordered that the bodies be burned.

I was wrong before. The sight of burning corpses before me was enough to make my stomach turn. I had to force myself to gulp back the bile that was rising up my throat.

At least now, my duties were over and I could return home. I threw up as soon as i stepped in the door. I ripped my clothes from my body, and showered away the smells of the camp. I sobbed as the warm water poured over my shaking form.

I tucked into a hearty dinner, knowing full well that the prisoners I'd sent to work today would not be eating until tomorrow. I sighed, remembered the green eyed prisoner I'd saved. Why had I? Nothing could ever happen! He was a Jew, and I was an SS prison guard. But maybe...

That night, I wrapped up warm in bed, and dreamt of the green eyed man. I dreamt of saving him, of us fleeing together, starting a life together. Happy, healthy, in love. I awoke with a smile on my face. Even though nothing could ever happen - I would always have my dreams.

I saw him that morning at roll-call. I was glad that he was still alive. I marched amongst the prisoners, checking their uniforms. They had to be neat. I slapped those who weren't.

Then I came to him. His hair was short, his eye held fear, but he was still beautiful. I nodded at him, he was neat and tidy, and I allowed myself to smile, ducking my head so I could hide behind my hair. But something told me the green eyed man saw.

I saw him again in the washrooms. Again, our eyes meet. I blushed, and so did he. He liked me! I couldn't believe it!

Once the prisoners were in the tubs, I went along, dunking each of them under the water and chlorine mix for 5 seconds. It cleaned them - and chocked them. 4 were already dead. Then I reached him, the green eyed man, and I knew I couldn't do it. Instead, I held my hand over his face, and held him just above the water. When I let him go, he pretended to cough and choke. I put my head down as he did, and I told him,
"Out"
I smiled as I said it, knowing full well that he would see, and that no one else would.