Memories... + Villes suicide note

Villes suicide letter...

I'd like to point out that this was MY suicide note when I overdosed last month. The reason I'm publishing it is because A) It fits and B) it helps me feel better, I can see how stupid I was. I'm not going to say who the letter was about, but if you ask, I'll tell.


To my fans

Everything seems so...distant. I just can’t focus. Theres screaming coming from somewhere, but I don’t hear it, not really. I’ve been playing with a cup mindlessly for 10 minutes, and I just can’t seem to stop, I don’t know why. My thoughts are so hazy, the only clear ones are of him. But is it a good thing that they are clear? When all I can think about, all that is crystal clear in my mind is that he doesn’t want me as I want him. No I don’t think it is, and all I can do is think, think about him, and think about HER. His girlfriend. I hate her, but then I hate myself because she is the nicest person. Does that make me a bad person? For hating someone whos guilty of nothing but falling in love? All the time I just want to cry, its all I can seem to do. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I’m just numb. Everyone tells me that there are plenty more fish in the sea, that one day I’ll find someone to take away the ache, someone who’ll take his place in my heart. But I don’t want that. I just want him, and I want him to want me. Every inch of me aches knowing that I’ll never have him. I know hes the one, the right person for me. When we’re together its great. We laugh, we joke, we never stop talking. People atually ask us if we’re a couple because we even dress alike. But he can’t see it, he can’t see that we’re perfect for each other. He can’t see that SHE is no good for him. They have nothing in common, she doesn’t listen to the same music he does, they don’t dress the same! Not like us. We’re the same, he and I, 2 parts of 1 thing. We belong together, but we’ll never be, and so for that I’ll have to die. Because I can’t live with this ache anymore, I can’t live knowing that he doesn’t love me. I can’t live knowing what should have been, but will never be. I’ll forever be alone if I live, for no one can take his place in my heart. I’ll never be able to love anyone as I love him. Never.

If only things were different...