Method

"Well you wanted to get comfortable with each other so....don't hold back."

Van was taken aback by Jake's request but the last few minutes had been like a surreal dream. It was as if he was in the room watching it occur but not believing it was truly him kissing his friend.

"Ok if you say so..." Van reached out and began caressing Jake's nicely muscled arm as he leaned in. Their lips met once more and instinctively locked together, shifting in movement as one. Jake had asked him not to hold back and even though it was a new sensation, Van was honest enough with himself to admit that he liked it. So there was no holding back.

He tentatively flicked his tongue on Jake's lips and slowly applied pressure. His actions were met with a soft sigh as Jake's mouth opened to let his tongue enter. The kissing intensified as the two men hungrily explored each other. Van's hand moved up from Jake's arm to his shoulder, kneading the tight bundle of muscles present there.

The room fell away and it was as if the two were locked together, forced to only to concentrate on each other's lips. An innocent bystander would never know this was the first time they'd kissed. Their chemistry was white hot onscreen and, apparently, off-screen.

Jake couldn't believe what was happening. The sensations were overwhelming, not from the newness of the situation, but from the animalistic way it felt to make out with Van. It was more intense than anything he'd felt when kissing a woman. The feelings were heightened by the fact that this was his friend; his good friend that he cared about.

His thoughts were temporarily interrupted when he realized Van's lips had moved down to the side of his neck. He could feel Van's warm breath and lips caressing the skin right under his earlobe. The sigh turned into a light moan as he let Van "not hold back." His only thoughts were, "Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop."

Jake found his hand holding onto the back of Van's head, guiding him to all the erogenous zones that he wanted those lips to explore. Eventually, he guided him back to his lips to taste him once again. They kissed and explored so intensely until they were nearly out of breath.

"I need a breather.." Jake said as he pulled back from their liplock. He sat quietly trying to catch his breath and to make sense of what he was feeling.

Van rubbed Jake's thigh, staring at him with that slight smile that could melt anyone's heart. "So how was THAT?"

"Great.." Jake struggled with what to say. This was becoming too much and Van's constant rubbing on his thigh was bringing up another sensation; a burgeoning erection. He wasn't quite ready for this. The emotions were overwhelming; excitement, embarassment, lust, guilt, and worst of all, fear. He couldn't be here right now. It was too much at once.

"Van...Listen, I really gotta go..." Jake whispered as he got up from the couch.

"Why? What's wrong?" Van was clearly surprised.

"It's just getting late and you know...I don't know what we're doing here. It was intense but I clearly need to go." Jake shifted back and forth on his feet, standing awkwardly.

"Hey it's ok. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out. It's just...you told me not to hold back so I didn't.." Van was starting to feel a tinge of guilt as he stood up to meet his friend's gaze. "I didn't set out tonite to seduce you. I meant what I said about method acting. It just got out of hand."

Jake looked down at the floor; anywhere but to look into Van's eyes. "I know you didn't mean to take it this far. It's just...I just have to go." He didn't know how else to explain it. He wasn't ready to deal with this right now. It was stifling to be in such close proximity to Van; not because he disliked him but because he wanted him.

Van wordlessly walked Jake to the door. The guilt inside his head was now a full force gale. "Jake, we'll talk tomorrow ok? I'm..I'm sorry if I did something that.." His words trailed off, not knowing what else to say. Jake gave him a half-smile and slipped out the door.

Van slowly closed the door behind him, listening to his footfalls echo in the hallway.

"What just happened?" he asked himself.

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Everything was pitch black. He couldn't see two feet in front of his face. There was no indicator which direction to go; no markers or signs and...

...the high pitched ringing and vibrating buzz of his cellphone punched through the darkness of his dream. Jake's eyes opened into tiny slits and his mind slowly started to form coherent thoughts. "Shit. Why's the studio calling me now? Wait. I'm not on the call list today."

He groggily rolled over to answer his evil, ringing master. "Slave to technology." he thought to himself.

Jake rubbed his smooth, bare chest as he mustered up his voice. "Hello? This better be good."

"Jake, it's Van. Did I wake you?"

"Why would Van be calling me this early?" he thought. As the realization of what occurred the night before slowly seeped into his conciousness, Jake's eyes opened completely. His breathing skipped as he tried to find the words. "Hey...it's ok I just woke up. Why are you calling so early?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Uh Jake, it's 10:30 in the morning."

"Oh god, I must've overslept. I was pretty tired last night." Jake fidgeted with his pillow trying to maintain his composure.

"I bet." Van responded as he winced, immediately regretting what he had just said. "Not the time to joke around with Jake." Van thought.

"Uh ok. So what's up?" Jake swallowed nervously, his breath catching in his throat. He wasn't sure what Van was up to and he didn't want to know.

Van took a deep breath. "I just...I just think we should talk...about last night. I need to explain myself and I think you need to get whatever you're feeling out." His response was met with silence. Van nervously continued on.

"Jake, if there's anyone you have to say something to, it would be me. You left pretty quickly last night and I felt like you freaked out on me. I just wanna know you're ok. Meet me at the Starbucks on 51st? Give me a chance." Still more silence. Van was beginning to think Jake had hung up.

"Ok." the quiet voice on the other end responded.

"Great. I'll see you there say around 11:15. Thanks, Jake." Van hung up the phone and let out a sigh of relief.

Jake lay in bed contemplating the events of last night. He really didn't want to meet Van but he was still drawn to him. He could never forget the sensations he felt the night before and Van was his friend, after all. His hands rubbed the sleep from his eyes as his naked body slipped out from under the bed covers.

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Van sipped his house-blend decaf while he nervously awaited Jake's arrival. To pass time, he surveyed the room of its patrons all enjoying a drink of some sort while peering at their laptops and cellphones or talking amongst themselves.

"Van.."

Van looked up to see Jake's smiling face. He looked ok, if a little tentative. Clearly, something had disturbed him last night and Van was determined to find out if he was ok.

"Hey. You wanna get a drink first?" Van asked, tilting his head toward the order counter.

"No. I'm ok, thanks." Jake sat down, clearly nervous. "How are you?"

"I feel like I should be asking you that question. I think we left things off last night in a weird place. I just wanna know you're ok." Van looked at him with a concern Jake had never seen before.

He struggled with what to say. "I'm ok. I just freaked out for a moment. It was alot to take in, Van. The kissing, the sensations, the emotions..." His voice trailed off not knowing what to think.

Van studied his face. Jake couldn't even look at him. "Look, it was new to me too. I've never done that before with a guy. But I'm not gonna lie to you, Jake. I enjoyed it. Please don't freak out on me. I feel responsible enough as it is. I shouldn't have asked you to do this with me and I'm sorry for that."

"It's not your fault. I went along with it and I enjoyed it too." whispered Jake. He looked around the room not wanting to meet Van's gaze. "I was feeling alot, maybe too much. At some point last night, I wanted you...not just to kiss...do you understand?"

Van nodded his head. "Yeah I understand. I can't say I didn't think about it when we were playing tonsil hockey." Finally, a genuine smile crossed Jake's face as he joined Van in their muffled laughter.

Van wanted so much to reach out and touch Jake's hand but stopped himself for fear of freaking his friend out even more. "Look, I don't want whatever happened last night to affect our friendship or our working relationship."

"I don't either." responded Jake, looking more serious than ever. "And it won't."

Van breathed a sigh of relief. "And so what about last night?"

"What about last night?" Jake asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"Well we both admitted we enjoyed what we did last night. And we both admitted we thought about more. Care to find out?" asked Van with a devilish smile.

Jake's smile faded and he physically sat straight up. "I...can't...I mean I don't think we should...Van, we're friends. I think doing more will affect our work and friendship. I just can't. I hope you understand."

A sadness washed over Van. "I do, I think. I just thought...well you said you had thought of doing more..."

"I do...but we can't act on that...I can't act on that. Look, I'm still trying to sort out my feelings about last night. I just don't think it's a good idea. I'm sorry, Van." Jake looked down at the table not knowing what else he could say.

"It's ok. This is my fault. I feel like I've screwed up our friendship already." Van stood up from the table. "I'm sorry, Jake. I'm sorry that I made you somehow doubt yourself. I'll see you next week on the set ok?" Van started to walk away but felt Jake's strong hand on his arm.

"Wait." Jake stood up and leaned in. "Don't beat yourself up over this," he whispered. "We're still friends. And colleagues. You didn't let me down. You just showed me a side of myself that I didn't even know existed. Just give me time to figure out where my head's at."

"I won't push." Van responded. This was something Jake had to go through and even though he was responsible for instigating it, he had to stay out of Jake's way. "I'll see ya..."

"Van.." Jake pleaded as he watched his friend walk away.

Van turned around flashing his trademark smile. It said everything that Jake needed to know without needing to be said; We're ok.

"That smile really does light up the room." thought Jake, as he watched Van blend into the crowds on the street.

TO BE CONTINUED