Spiel Mit Mir

2. Pleasure

It only struck me that something might be wrong with us when dad walked in on me and Christoph kissing. I stopped when I saw his face change color and watched him stumble out of the room. I didn’t tell Christoph; instead I kissed him again, but this time, his mouth had the sweet taste of sin too.

Dad never mentioned the incident. I guess he managed to persuade himself that his eyesight was playing tricks on him and he was imagining things.

As for Christoph, I knew he loved me and would have done anything to please me. So I dragged him to clubs to listen to music I knew he hated and insisted he made friends with all my friends. Even the ones I really didn’t like that much…

The nights, after cruising in bars and chasing women together, I take him to my bedroom. Well, we could do anything from watching TV to talking about the meaning of life, but instead, I usually take off my clothes and invite him to adore me.

Pleasure. Why have anything else when you can have pleasure? Pure. Undistilled. Pleasure. This beautiful man giving me his blue adoring gaze. Worshipping me with his mouth, his hands, his cock - his whole body dedicated to my pleasure. We’re sharing Blood, Love and Sin… And I am so high on that, I think I will die if I don’t stop soon.

I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop.

“What you’re thinking, Richard?” Christoph asks without looking at me. He’s crashed on the couch, near me, his head on my shoulder. He leans on me like he’s afraid that if he breaks body contact, everything we have would turn into dust. Maybe it would. I don’t want to find out now. I kiss his hair.

“Nothing.”

“Do you want to go out tonight?”

No, I want us to stay in my room and make love until the end of days.

“Sure. Why not?”

Christoph straightens himself.

“Let’s get ready then.”

It feels so cold all of a sudden. I need to hear his heartbeat. Feel it through my body like it comes from my own chest.

“Don’t get up yet. Give me five minutes. I really don’t know what to wear, you know…”

Christoph laughs.

“Only five minutes?”

I love you, Christoph. I can’t let go of you yet. Give me five more minutes before I have to tear you away from my flesh.

“Yeah…”

I close my eyes and I am sinking. Only his warmth is saving me from nameless sorrows. He senses my sadness and cuddles closer to me and kisses me under my ear.

Pleasure.

“We don’t have to go, if you don’t want to…”

We have to. I pull him to my mouth and I kiss him. Hard. I’m biting his lip so I could feel the taste of his blood one more time.

Love.