I Won't See You Tonight

--Brian—

I’d known I was gay since before I can remember. I’d never been sexually attracted to girls, I’d always been attracted to guys.

Zacky and Bree were the first people I told, when we were all twelve. Being my two best friends, they were very supportive. A few years later, Zacky told me that he was bisexual, but preferred girls. “That’s how it always starts,” I joked with him.

Then one day, when we were both 19 and the band we were in with our friends Jimmy, Johnny and Matt, was just starting to take off… It happened.

---

“This party sucks,” I muttered to myself as I drank the last of my fourth beer. Matt nodded next to me, it was weird… For a homophobe, he had no problem with me. He said it was because we’d known each other for so long, and that I wasn’t the type of gay-guy that acted gay--- whatever that meant.

“There’s no one attractive here,” he mumbled before smirking, “except for Bree.”

“Dude, shut the fuck up,” I growled, “that’s my sister.”

He laughed as she sauntered over, obviously drunk. “Hey Matt---”

“Wanna fuck?” he smiled.

In her drunken state, she began to ponder his question, as if considering it. “No! No, she doesn’t,” I answered.

Matt laughed again, “No fun.”

Bree shrugged, “I’ll make out with you later, just don’t let Brian know.” I wasn’t sure if this was a joke or not, so I just ignored it. “Anyhow, Brian… I’m gonna head out I think,” she said casually, as Matt’s eyes drifted to her chest.

I elbowed him. “I’ll walk you home,” I said, putting an arm around her shoulder.

“No, I can walk alone, you stay and enjoy the party… There’s a really hot guy over there,” she said pointing to a kid with black and green hair, “you’d like him.”

“He’s probably straight,” I muttered, as Matt walked off, uncomfortable.

“Nope, he’s queer,” she snickered. “I tried to make out with him and was informed that he was gay… So I told him to come looking for you, he thinks you’re hot,” she grinned with excitement. She was always sweet like that, trying to hook me up with guys.

I shrugged, “Maybe, but be careful on the way home.. Please.”

Matt had rejoined us, “I’ll walk her.”

“No,” I said with a skeptical glare at him.

“I won’t do anything, I promise dude… I was just kidding before,” he said honestly.

I sighed, “Fine.”

Matt put an arm around her waist, insisting it was to keep her steady. I couldn’t doubt him on that, she was trashed. I watched as they walked through the crowd of people at the party, and disappeared into the night.

I decided to start on my fifth beer, when Zacky walked up to me. “Hey Brian,” he said with a nod.

God, how I loved the boy! Ever since we were sixteen I’ve been crushing on him, he was just so perfect. Those eyes, that smile, that laugh. I just wanted to hold him forever. “Hey,” I chimed back with a smile.

“This party is pretty lame, huh?” he asked taking a swig from a bottle of Jack and wiping his chin with an adorable grin.

“Yeah, it doesn’t help that there’s no one worth fucking,” except for you…

“I hear you on that one… I haven’t had a good fuck in weeks,” he muttered.

“Me either,” I groaned.

He crashed his lips into mine, tongue sliding into my mouth and kissing me as if there were no tomorrow. Sexually deprived didn’t even begin to cover the last few weeks…

His began to kiss my neck as his hand drifted to my hardening crotch, “Well then, perhaps we should help each other out.”

I groaned into his mouth, biting his lower lip and drawing blood. He smirked, licking the crimson before taking my hand, “There’s a few rooms upstairs…”