Turn the Lights Out When You Leave

He extended his hand to me with a warm smile. I reluctantly took it.



"That's still not funny." He chuckled a little.



"Sorry, must be my dry English humor." He tried to explain. I wanted to say, 'No, I understood that, I just didn't think it was funny.' But I gave a smirk and a quick 'It's alright.' I began walking away from him to find out what I'm supposed to be doing today, only to be called by a voice over my shoulder.



"I didn't catch your name." Alan said as I continued walking away with my purse slung over my shoulder.



"That's cause I didn't say it." I replied teasingly. I was certain he found me irritating and all I heard was a laugh. Well, at least he was in a good mood. Okay, maybe I was just having PMS or something, maybe I just wanted to list "piss off an acclaimed actor" to my list of acheivements, I don't know why I did what I did, but, it was amusing.



I found out we'd be going through two days of rehearsal, just reading from the script, for the first 2 days, then we'd add in actions while the director thought of any last minute editing. Then I realized I forgot about Ava. I walked passed her dressing room and noticed her door was open a little, and I saw someone walk by the lights coming from inside, and it made me even more curious that as I got closer, I heard a little moaning from a man. Once I peeked in, I realized why I never saw the director.



"Oh, that's right. That's my shooting star..." He said as he began massaging a girl's hair infront of me that was done on her knees sucking him off. Now, normally if I thought this type of thing was going on between two actors I liked, I'd be all for voyeurism. But it wasn't. And it just made me feel disgusted. I walked away and went into the bathroom to get myself ready. I looked through my purse and found my compact, then I found a picture I'd taken with me of my son. He was giggling and playing in one of Texas's few snowfalls. I smiled, then put it away.



As I was putting on my foundation, I found something curious running through my head. I found myself reflecting on how warm Alan's hand was. Then a few moments later as I was finishing powdering my face, I found myself entertaining the thought of where else his hand would feel warm. I found myself getting more nervous than I already was, and shook my head. I didn't have concentration to go all out on my make up just then. So I picked my things up and walked out to find where I was supposed to be.



Mr. Rickman was already in place, just as I'd seen him before, looking over his script; Skeet Ulrich walked in wearing a white t-shirt and blue jeans, removing his sun glasses he looked around. Ava and the director, Gary Hudson, joined us shortly, pretending to arrive at different times then pretend to go over parts and emotions. Then slowly but surely, Brad Pitt was escourted in with a barrage of security guards, each one looking serious with black suits like he were the president or something. I noticed Alan shook his head like he was witnessing the most ridiculoous thing he'd ever seen. The crew began setting up some large fold-out tables and assembling chairs by them. They placed two large tables facing each other for all the main actors, then the director had his own chair seated at the side of one of them. We began running through scenes. The ones that were simpler in form, we just skipped over. Openings, actions, we skipped them.



"Jennifer, you can't...be...serious." Ava read to me. She sounded like a kindergartner just finding out she had dyslexia. The director nodded his head in approval.



"Sarah, I am. You can't go out with both guys. It'd make no sense. Besides, there'd be no one in the world left for me if ou went out with all the guys who had a thing for you." I read. Okay, this was some bullshit. I couldn't believe the words falling from my mouth. The idiot was going to be the beautiful one with a guy dilemma and we were playing up how much more plain looking I was than her! Life just wasn't fair sometimes. I stiffed it out, though, hoping there'd be some major re-writing going on. While Ava read everyone either yawned or rolled their eyes discreetly. When it came Alan's turn to speak with Brad's charactor, he was extraordinary.



"You just don't understand, old man." Brad read as his charactor Benjimen.



"No, you're the one who needs to understand." Alan read, his voice raw with feeling. "I see the way you look at her. She's nothing to you. She's your toy, your play thing. You don't grasp the creature she is, let alone the fact that I love her." He paused. "Let's pretend you do get her. You get her in bed, you convince her to marry you. She does, what then? It'd just be over for you wouldn't it? How long would you last in the name of competition? A week? A month? 2 years? Well, I don't want her for 2 damn years, Ben! I want her for the rest of my life! I want her to be mine and for her to know she'll have my heart, always! Always!" Alan glanced at Brad's face, then back down at the script. "But then I forget myself. You. You'll always come between us. 'Better to be a young man's whore...' " He remarked with a sneer, taking a quick look at Ava, who I'm sure was trying to read her own next sentence. "If you want her then Ben, go get her. But the second you drop her or break her heart...that'll be the end of your life. I swear it." He finished his speech as his charactor William, then turned the page of his script. I got lost in the feelings he was emitting, and forgot to turn my own.



"Delaney. Delaney?" I was called back to reality by Gary.



"Oh right. Sorry." I flipped to the next page. The words Alan just read ran through my head. And I tried to jump back into my own charactor's head. "Sarah, you need to choose Will." I pleaded, looking at Ava who was searching through her purse and popped a piece of chewing gum in her mouth. I continued trying not to let her smacking bother me. I wasn't going to risk being a professional for her. She said her line.



"I'm in love with Ben." She replied. 'must've spent a whole ten minutes trying that one.' I thought.



"To hell with Ben! Look, don't you know the cycle? Love, abuse, leave; love, abuse, leave; repeat! It doesn't ever end! It's all that ever happens to you, Sarah! For once in your life do the right thing!" I urged her like someone reading a story, cheering for the heroine in a romance novel. I looked at Alan, and saw him suddenly glance up at me. I blushed a little and turned my eyes downward at the script infront of me. He smirked and looked back at his.



"But I- I am doing the right thing." Ava read, pausing her smacking. She read slowly and her emotions were absent.



"Yeah? Well, then let me say this: The wrong man is offering you a wedding band and the right one's leaving today. You're doing the right thing though." I paused and read on. "And you're gonna regret it forever."



"Alright! That's enough for today!" Gary called. I looked at my watch. I got here at 7:30 this morning, we were going through the script and it was 5:00 in the afternoon. I had no idea about the schedule of time around here, but I noticed Gary was at half-mast in his pants. I guess when you can tell time by your own erection acting like a sundial it was time to call it a day. I hadn't even had lunch, I thought. Maybe my nerves just shut my stomach off. I flipped my script closed, and began to stand up. This time, Mr. Pitt didn't call his guards to his sides and casually congratulated everybody and walked back to his dressing room.



"Please, like he's been in this business for so bloody long." Alan said aloud.



"Is that a hint of jealousy, Mr. Rickman?" I asked, glancing over my shoulder as I stooped to nestle the script in my bag.



"No, it's just my unequivacle hate for that man's morals." He said, rolling his script in his fist and pounding it into his other. "It's one thing to be in the business for the craft, but it's another when all you see are dollar signs. People like that make me sick." I felt a little agreeing voice in my head. But then I felt guilt as I remembered the two reasons I was chasing this dream. One, was for my son; the other was so I could take care of him. I huffed as I grabbed my things and began walking out. "Wait, a second!" He said as he grabbed my wrist gently as I got a few steps away. I turned quickly around and dropped my bag out of surprise. All the loose contents spilled out. I got down on my knees quickly and began grabbing items and shoveling them into my bag. Alan stooped down and picked up a few things and offered them to me.



"What'd I say?" He asked softly cocking his head to oneside. I looked back at Gary and Ava as they began walking out.



"Nothing." I said sternly and grabbed my make up bag out of his hands.



"Well, either I did something or you're just one of those uptight feminists who's got a grudge against the world." He said smiling a bit.



"I guess you must hate me then." I said raising and lowering my eyebrows, hoping he'd get my drift.



"For what? I don't even know you." He said chuckling.



"Because even though I love acting I'm also in it for the money." He took off his reading glasses and picked up a picture of my son. I turned the picture to Alan.



"He's why I'm in it for the money." I answered. Alan reached his hand out and I handed him the picture. He looked it over. Tyler's blonde hair and bright blue eyes made him smile.



"He's beautiful." He commented and handed the picture back. "I don't have any children." He stood up, and offered his hand again. I took it and he helped me stand up. "Well, for what I said, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. But you're not solely in it for the money, not even for yourself." Alan did his best apologetic look. My stomach rumbled and reminded me how I needed to get a move on.



"It's alright." I answered. I looked at my watch. "5:12." I said aloud.



"Oh, right. I'm sorry for taking up your time from your family." He apologized again and stepped away.



"My family is in Texas." I said, sighing.



"Where's Mr. Delaney?" He asked. I wondered what made him ask that.



"In prison, somewhere, I'd imagine." I answered. "But we were never married."



"Prison? For what?" He asked, astonished. My heart twisted inside.



"I don't know you well enough for that, Mr. Rickman." I answered and shook my head at him for 'Access denied'.



"I'm sor-"



"Why do Englishmen apologize so much? You've offended and said sorry for it so many times I think I've lost count."



"I'm sorry." He said again, smiling. I smiled back.



"Alright, from now on whenever you say that, I'm charging you $20." I teased, he took out his wallet. I laughed.



"I'm joking!" I playfully slapped his wallet away. Then remembered my objective: food. "Well, I need to get out of here and get some food." I casually mentioned. "You did a wonderful read today." I complemented him, and began walking off in my direction again before he stopped me once more.



"Hey, if you're hungry, I know this little pizzaria around the corner." I heard the word pizza and nothing more was needed.



"Don't you have a wife or something you'd rather be taking out?"



"Actually, my girlfriend, Rima, is in London on business and won't be here for a few days." With that being mentioned, I was a little disappointed but happy at the same time. He was attractive, but I didn't want to get involved with him for one reason or another I couldn't place just then and smiled at him. I gladly took him up on his offer. After gathering some things, and Alan made a quick changed in clothing to some khaki pants and a blue dress shirt, with a jacket, we made our exit from the studio and found ourselves on the search for food. We took his car, as of yet, I didn't have one, and was living in a hotel paid for by the studio. When we arrvied, I was a little shocked at how the building looked so normal. White brick, and red banners and a patio area with red umbrellas over each of the tables. We opted to sit on the patio, and then came the time I dreaded most: Conversation while waiting to be noticed by a server. Suddenly, I forgot why I agreed to come with him.



"So, I never got your last name." He spoke at last to break the silence between us. Before then, I found myself listening to the music coming out of the speakers above our heads on the building playing lowly, Iron and Wine's "Passing Afternoon".



"That's because-"



"Wait, I know this one." He smiled, and pretended to be on a game show. "Because you haven't told me." I smiled and nodded now that he was catching onto the game. Just as I began to think of something to ask, to be add a little more conversation, the waitress approached us.



"Hi, I'm Dana and I'll be your server today." She said as she handed us both menus. "Is there any drinks I can get for you?" She looked back and forth between us, but I noticed how she looked so fond of Alan and couldn't help but feel a little posessive. I raised my eyebrows a little at her stare as she blankly looked through me and straight to him. Alan gestured to me. Chivalry in it's highest form, I mused. Not holding open the door, not fighting for my virtue, letting the woman order her beverage first.



"Yes, I'd like a..." I opened the menu and flipped to the beer and wine list. I glanced over the drinks and smiled, finding my personal favorite. "A large strawberry ecstasy." The waitress never looked at me and stared at Alan.



"Hello?" I waved her attention back to me. "I'd like a straw-"



"I'm sorry. I'd hate to bother you Mr. Rickman, but, could I have your autograph?" I let out a loud irritated sigh. I wanted my drink and my food. I folded one arm across my chest and held held my chin in my hand. Alan looked at me.



"Sorry. Do you mind?" He looked at me and was asking for my permission. I sighed again, then smiled.



"No, no, by all means." I replied thinking to myself, 'As long as I get my drink.' The waitress looked through her apron pocket and handed Alan a napkin and a pen. I noticed a few people from the inside staring out and pointing at him as he signed his name and a short dedication, then handed it back to her, thanking her. I repeated my order again and Alan ordered a glass of red wine and a copy of Variety. And Dana's perky self, went inside. I stared unbelieving at Alan.



"So, does this sort of thing happen to you all the time?" I asked, unzipping my purse and digging through its contents.



"Actually, not usually." He smiled, lying through his teeth. I dug out a pack of Marlboro menthols and took one out, and zipped my purse back up. I searched through my jeans pockets for my lighter.



"Liar." I casually said, smiling back. He pulled a lighter from his jacket pocket and lit the end of my cigarette. I leaned over and inhaled on the filter. Once lit, I pulled it from my mouth and exhaled adding. "Mucho gracias, senor."



"The opposite of that to ya." He replied. He was all smiles. "I didn't know you smoked." He said, I was worried, he'd find it a turn-off then came to the conclusion; what'd I care? I wasn't dating him.



"I didn't know you did, either." I said motioning with the cigarette to the lighter he was laying on the table next to my pack.



"Actually, I don't. I carry it out of habit for my Rima." I half-smiled at him. Well, at least he was dedicated.



"Ah, I see." I took another drag. "Does it bother you?" I ashed the cigarette in the tray at the middle of the table.



"No, I kind of find it comforting, to tell the truth." Alan looked down at his shoes.



"Oh, before I forget, you owe me twenty bucks." I mentioned thinking back to the waitress.



"For what?"



"You apologized again." I said to him, teasing once again.



"Well, I do try to be a nice guy to fans, especially admiring ones." He said looking inside for any hint of Dana. I knew somehow through, she was in the back bragging about how she gets to serve Professor Snape on the patio.



"ESPECIALLY the admiring ones. If she'd've stared any harder at you I think she would've gone blind." I thought about the way she stared at him and found a weird likeness of myself. He just laughed it off.



"Please. She's not my type she strikes me as the type that watches Bend It Like Beckham everyday. Besides, what is she 16?" He asked continuing to look in the back for her.



"Well, in America, legal achohol serving age is 18. She can't drink it, but she can bring it to you." I added for his trivia about America.



"Speaking of movies, have you seen any of my work?" He asked casually.



"Great talk to get a girl into bed." I winked at him and took a puff of my cigarette and chuckled a little. Dana made her way out to us with the drinks on a small carrying tray.



"Decided on anything?" She asked, adjusting her brown pony tail, giving her best come-hither smile at Alan once more, probably hoping he'd place an order for her to go.



"Um, just a medium pepperoni pizza." Alan ordered, not sure how hungry I was at the moment I'm guessing. I shook my head in agreeance. She handed him his issue of Variety and answered with a defeated, but chipper 'Okay', collected our menus and went back inside once more. We continued conversation.



"Where were we? Oh, yes, have you seen any of my films?" He inquired taking a sip of his wine. I swirled the straw around my enormous glass and removed the small plastic sword stabbed through a marachino cherry, a pineapple chunk and a slice of an orange. I pulled off the cherry and started eating it.



"Actually, I have. I was quite fond of you in Die Hard. I think that was the first thing I ever saw you in. My dad's a fan of that movie and its sequels." I mentioned. "I loved your performance in, I know how dull this is going to sound, but, Romeo and Juliet. I caught it once on the BBC channel and couldn't turn it off." I laughed a little at myself. He put his head to rest in his palm and stared at me, listening intently. "Even though I don't have a quite a strong grasp on Shakespeare, I still love reading his work. I have a few favorite lines memorized from him." I stuck the piece of pineapple in my mouth and took a long drink of my Strawberry Ecstasy. It tasted delicious with it's fruit juice mixture and alchohol. It was concocted of pineapple juice, orange juice, rum, a touch of vodka, strawberry preserves and cherries, blended together with ice. It was exactly what the name said.



"Such as?" He raised a brow at me.



"Oh gosh," I racked through my brains hoping not to screw up. "The last speech of A Midsummer Night's Dream. 'And if we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended: that you have but slumbered here-" As I recited, Alan closed his eyes. "While these visions did appear." I felt a blush rise in my cheeks as I forgot the last lines.



"...And this weak and idle theme no more yielding...than a dream." Alan opened his eyes once he finished the verse I had forgotten and smirked at me. I fell in love right then and there at the way he spoke the words. It's like they were his own writing or perhaps a story of his life.



When our food was brought to us, I felt the alchohol get to me a little and made me loosen up a bit more and felt more relaxed, even with the audience we had. Alan and I chatted about plays such as Hamlet, and recited some short pieces of Shakespeare's work from memory, and I chimed in occasionally with pieces I could remember. Then he opened the Variety and took a gander at its contents.



"Bloody hell." He huffed. I finished a sip and swallowed.



"What is it?" I asked, trying to see through the paper.



"Listen to this: 'Word on the street is Brad Pitt has signed on to star in a secret flick in which he will be joined by cast mates Skeet Ulrich, 38, and his senior stage-graduate, Alan Rickman,71, of Harry Potter fame...showcasing the talents of rising star Ava Loren, 29, and unknown actress Delaney Lindley, 23." I heard the disdain dripping from his mouth as he spoke the words. I hated it too.



"Harry Potter fame? Of so many roles, they picked that one?" I asked incrediously, snatching the pages from him and scanned it for myself.



"That's not the bit I'm worried about. My age is wrong, they're a decade and a year off." I added it together in my hazy thoughts. I gulped and almost choked on my drink.



"You're 82!" I said, astonished. He looked like he was going to strangle me from across the table.



"No!" He said, angrily, his tone rising for a moment. "I meant a decade and a year over!" He clicked his tongue. "That and Brad Pitt's costar? I was doing stage while his parents were makin' 'im!" He all but yelled. I feared this would put a dander on the rest of the afternoon, now that he was in such a foul disposition. Maybe I should order another drink, I suddenly thought. I pushed his glass towards him by the stem as I lit another cigarette.



"I'm sorry, babe." We ate for a moment in silence and when Dana checked on us again, I ordered another one. Alan stuck with what he had, but odered a lemon water on the side. He looked down at his placte, ashamed.



"I'm sorry, I must sound like such an egomaniacal maniac." He said, sighing. Yes again, trying to do the polite thing and apologize. I finished a piece of pizza and stuffed the last bit of xrast in my mouth and was full.



"No. Don't apologize." I reassured him putting my hand on top of his and looked into his eyes. "I'd be acting the same as you, if it were me." I held his gaze for a moment as he quinted his eyes a little bit as he caught me staring into his and trail down to his mouth. And then, out of the blue, I thought what it'd be like to kiss his lips. I wonder'd how his lips would feel against my fingertips, how he would feel in my arms, how his - I cut myself off.



"Delaney?"



"Hmm?" I asked shaking my thoughts out of my head quickly, before blinking and listening more intently.



"What were you thinking about just now?" Alan asked, looking at me like I had lobsters falling out of my ears. I thought quickly, I wanted to spontaneously grab the back of his neck, push his face to my neck and have him ravage me right then and there, ontop of the patio table infront of everyone. I opened my mouth, and apologized.



"Sorry, I just noticed what beautiful eyes you have." I remarked, and half lied. He smiled a bit in the corners of his mouth and his eyes began to half close, like we'd just made love or the wine had begun to relax him as well.



"Thanks." He looked at both our plates and glasses, then saw a third of the pizza and took stock. "You done?" He asked.



"With the food, yes." I answered. He motioned for Dana to rejoin us to deliver the check. Now, I have no idea what made me ask the next question, maybe it was the alchohol I'd consumed, or I was just having a severe case of vacabulary fall-out; whatever the case, I blurted the thoughts on my mind before thinking things through.



"So, are you faithful to your Rima?" I asked raising another cigarette to my lips and proceeding to light it. He coughed a little and covered his hand with his mouth after taking a sip from his water as I asked.



"Excuse me?" He inquired. I repeated, feeling nosy and over borders. After this, he'd probably either get mad at me and take me home and we'd never be friends again or get offended and just leave me here and things would be tense at work, plus we'd never be friends again. Either way, 'he' and 'never be friends again' still went together.



"No, I heard what you said. It just took me by surprise." He answered. "Well, uh..."



"You don't have to answer." I offered an option out of the question, because this man made me disturb some locked away feelings I hadn't entertained since before my son was born.



"It's alright." He answered and took a quick sip of his water before setting it back down. "I'll answer.:No. Rima and I have a strong, trusting bond, and we've been together a very long time. I just don't believe you have to get married to belong to one another. That and if its a sham, you can just back out- no harm done." He dabbed his napkin on his mouth as Dana made her way to the table with our tab. I pulled out my purse, when Alan took out his wallet in a flash and answered that he had everything taken care of. We walked back out to the car, once we paid the bill, and gave Dana a picture for her camera phone of Alan pretending to kiss her cheek. I stood off to the side, silently waiting. Once he was finished he excourted me to the passenger side and opened the door. I got in and he closed the door, when I put my seatbelt on and noticed the sun setting quickly. I felt the drinks catching up with me suddenly, I felt completely mellow and entertained the thought of us driving me to my rented room, followed by Alan, and him placing a Do Not Disturb sign on the handle. He got in and begun to pull out onto the street.



"So, where are you staying?" Alan asked. He glanced around at the roads and passing cars. "More importantly, do you know how to get there?" We laughed nervously.



"Actually, I don't." I thought how stupid I was and put my hand on my head through my tousled hair. "And right now, I really don't." When Alan threw me a curve ball I didn't see coming.



"Well, we could go to my house and I could call a cab to take you home." He offered. I thought I felt my heart stop.