Detoured

How many hours could pass before you could officially lose your mind? For Carrie, she had long ago lost hers within the first hour of being in the crowded hospital. She had always hated hospitals, even as a kid she had always despised them. She disliked the coldness of them, loathed the smell in them, and more than anything she had always hated that lingering feeling deep inside that something could and would always go wrong. That last thought had been enough for her mind to go into overdrive. Was Kelly hurt badly? Would she be okay? What if she wasn't okay? Her body language probably gave away her thought process at the moment as nervously paced back and forth through the waiting room. Where was a Doctor, or a nurse, anyone? Why hadn't anyone come out to speak to her yet? She was all alone, save their daughter, in a crowded Nashville hospital. Silently she cursed herself for ever pushing Kelly to make the move here permanently, it hadn't been fair to her, and it also meant tearing Kelly away from her family and hometown; something she had secretly always felt bad about making the Texan do.

She jerked slighty as she felt her phone vibrate against her hip, having long ago silenced it. It was insane how quickly the news had spread, and even more insane how quickly everyone was jumping to call her. Digging inside of her pocket she pulled her BlackBerry out and glanced down at it. No one important. She took a quick, mental note of the time before shoving her phone back into her pocket and turning to look at Lyra who was curled up in a tiny ball on one of the chairs in the corner. She hadn't been able to sit down, let alone attempt to sleep, not like she had expected to anyways. Surprisingly enough Lyra had managed to sleep through most of the night and she was thankful that at least one of them had been able to. Finally feeling as if she'd somehow be able to stay still for a few minutes, Carrie crossed the waiting room and sat down beside her daughter, burying her face into the palm of her hands.

The woman seated in waiting area with her head hanging low looked far from the woman she knew personally, so much so that she almost didn't recognize her. Although it had been a while since she'd last seen her she could immediately tell that the woman had lost a great deal of weight since then. She looked tired and run down, which was understandable given the circumstances, but even more so she seemed so fragile; as if she would break at any moment.

"Carrie..." She said softly, slowly approaching the woman and sleeping child.

She watched Carrie's head lift up and continued to watch the woman fight to focus her swollen, red eyes on hers.

"Jeanne." She whispered quietly, offering the best smile she could manage at the moment, "I wasn't expecting you so soon." She said, straightening a bit in the uncomfortable chair.

Jeanne kneeled down in front of her and placed a hand to her knee. "I booked the first flight they had available as soon as I got off the phone with you." She explained.

Even though she had hardly been able to comprehend the majority of what the blonde had been saying to her on the phone between gasps and sobs, she had gathered enough to know that something was wrong with her daughter.

"Are you by yourself?"

Jeanne nodded. "Yeah. I called Ashley though after I booked my flight. She, Jason and Alyssa should be here within the next couple of hours. Have you been here all night?" She wondered, gently caressing the girls knee.

"Yeah, I have. I haven't heard a word from anyone yet. I haven't...I haven't even seen her again since they were putting her into the back of the ambulance. It looks like it's really bad." She sobbed out, her tears falling into her lap.

Jeanne frowned slightly and reached out to take Carrie's hand. "Shh, you have to think positive, Care." Jeanne encouraged, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

Lyra began to slowly stir awake beside Carrie. "Gammy?" She mumbled tiredly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes while trying to focus them.

Jeanne tore her eyes away from Carrie's and shot a smile up at her granddaughter as her eyes lowered to meet the child's. "Hey, kiddo." She said, moving closer to the child.

Lyra yawned. "What are you doing here?"

She fought to keep the smile on her face. "I came to visit momma and mommy."

Lyra gently pushed up from the chair she was curled up on and leaned in towards her grandma. "Momma not doing too good."

Jeanne wiped away a few tears from her cheeks. "I know sweetie, but momma is a fighter, she's going to be just fine." She promised.

"That's what mommy said." Lyra spoke proudly.

She glanced back up towards her daughter in-law. "Well, that's because mommy is a smart cookie."

Lyra grinned and nodded in agreement. "Mm cookies!" Lyra shouted excitedly, placing a hand to her grumbling stomach.

Jeanne couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her mouth. "You are truly your momma's child, that girl likes food entirely too much. Care," She began slowly, catching the girls attention.

Carrie glanced down at her. "Yes?"

"You should take Lyra home and get her some food...you should eat something too, maybe shower and change and try to get a little sleep." Jeanne suggested.

Carrie shook her head. "I need to be here when they tell us how she's doing."

"You also still need to look after your daughter and take care of yourself. I'll stay here and the second I hear from a doctor I'll call you, otherwise we'd both just be sitting here going crazy waiting." Jeanne pointed out, pushing back up into a standing position.

Carrie thought about it for a moment. "You promise you'll call?"

"Absolutely. Want me to call a cab for ya'll?" She asked.

"Yes, please." Carrie responded quietly.

Jeanne dug her cell phone out of her pocket. "Okay. I'm going to step outside and make the call, I'll be back alright?"

Carrie nodded. "Thanks." Jeanne nodded in return and slowly made her way towards and out the automatic doors to place the phone call.

____________________________________________________________________


By the time they arrived back at their house the sun was up, indicating a new day. How could it be a new day when she felt as if she was still stuck in the previous one? Maybe she was dreaming. Oh how she wished she were only dreaming.

She unbuckled the seat belt from around her and Lyra's waist and quickly paid the driver before moving to push out of the cab. The cab pulled away from the house as they made their way up the empty driveway, slowly closing the short distance to the front door. Carrie glanced down at Lyra, giving her hand a gentle tug. Lyra lifted her head to meet her moms eyes as her feet continued to move slowly in front of her, one after the other.

"You hungry, kiddo?" Lyra nodded before lowering her eyes and looking forward again. "Alright, we'll get inside and I'll fix you some breakfast."

They reached the door, taking a little longer than usual it seemed, but they had finally reached it. Carrie dug into her purse, hastily fishing out her keys and reaching out to unlock the door. She held her breath for a moment as she and Lyra passed over the 'Home Sweet Home' mat and entered the house. Their home wasn't so sweet right now, not without Kelly it wasn't. It was a shame really that it dawned on her now that their home hadn't been sweet for a while.

She released Lyra's hand as she blindly pushed the door shut behind her and turned the lock on it. "You can watch some cartoons while mommy fixes us some food okay?"

"Okay." Lyra responded, quietly walking away from her mom and making her way into the living room, Carrie trailing behind her. She flicked the TV on and turned it to Noggin before leaving Lyra sitting on the sofa and making her way into the kitchen. She had to keep it together right now, for Lyra she had to keep it together.

In silence Carrie prepared oatmeal and toast, only preparing enough oatmeal for Lyra, but settling on two pieces of toast for herself. "It's done, baby." She called out, and found herself chuckling as the two year wobbled into the kitchen.

Lyra paused at the kitchen table and smacked her hand against her booster seat. "Up!" She screamed excitedly, watching Carrie make her way over to her with her food.

Carrie shook her head as she set the tiny bowl and plate down onto the table before leaning down and lifting Lyra up into her arms. "Here we go." Carefully she situated the child onto the seat and moved away from the table, glancing over her shoulder as she walked back towards the island, seeing that Lyra didn't waste anytime eating.

She leaned against the island with her hands, steadying her weight against the granite top, eyeing her toast. She knew that she should eat, even just a couple bites would probably suffice, but she didn't have an appetite.

She couldn't hide the tiny hint of a smile that tugged in the corners of her mouth when she spotted Lyra passed out at the kitchen table in her booster seat. Stepping away from her uneaten toast, she made her way over to her daughter. She chuckled softly as she lifted the sleeping child's head up from her empty plate and scooped her up into her arms.

"My goodness you love to sleep child." She murmured, slowly leaving the kitchen and moving towards the staircase. She was still glad at least one of them was getting some rest, because she sure as hell wasn't going to get any.

Carefully she ascended the wooden staircase and mentally debated with herself on whether or not to put Lyra down in her own room or take her into her and Kelly's bedroom. Finally she decided on the latter of the two choices and made her way down the narrow hallway to the master bedroom. She passed the guest rooms and Lyra's room in the process before finally reaching her destination. The door was already open, the bedroom left in the same condition as it had been yesterday, as she entered. Silently she continued to make her way across the large room, her feet quietly padding along the hardwood floor as she approached the king sized bed. She drew the comforter back on the bed before delicately lowering Lyra down onto the mattress, tugging the blanket up to her shoulders.

"I love you, baby girl." She whispered, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to her daughter's forehead before turning away from the bed and crossing the room once more towards the bathroom.

She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she passed through the doorway. Turning she paused and stared back at her reflection. Sighing she began to discard her clothes, slowly one article at a time fell against the tiled floor at her feet. She could feel the waiting tears stinging the corners of her eyes as she caught a glimpse of the few scrapes she had received during the crash, an instant reminder. Finally she pushed away from the mirror and made her way towards the shower. Pulling the glass door out towards her she slipped inside, quickly reaching forward and turning the nobs, the water immediately pouring out from the shower head above. She adjusted the tempature to her liking and finally just allowed the tears to come, her sobs bouncing off the bathroom walls.

"...I don't know why I bother anymore either." Her last words to Kelly kept replaying over and over in her mind. Sliding down the length of the wall she sat down and leaned against it, pulling her legs up to her chest and burrying her face into her knees.

"Mommy?"

Her head jerked up and blindly she looked out against the now fogging glass door towards her daughter's voice. "Y-yeah sweetheart, you okay?" She called back, pushing up from the floor and turning the water off.

To her surprise the glass door was being tugged open. "I fine, are you?" Lyra peeked her head around the door and watched Carrie move forward to step out.

Carrie reached out for her towel off a hook near the bathroom door and wrapped it around her body. "I'm...mommy is fine." She lied, attempting to wipe away the evidence that she wasn't.

Lyra wasn't stupid and Carrie knew that, the girl was two and definitely at that very observant stage. "No." Lyra whispered in response, tugging down on her mom's hand. Carrie knowingly lowered herself to her daughters eye level, the tears once again falling.

"Mommy sad." Carrie noddeed her head. "Yeah honey, mommy is sad, but she'll be okay." She told her.

"Is momma okay too, is she hurt?"

Carrie took a deep breath and managed a quiet "She'll be fine, sweetie. Momma will be just fine."

She knew that those words weren't guaranteed, but as much as she needed to convince their daughter of them, she needed to convince herself of them as well.