Without You I'm Nothing (Chapter 39 up now!)

A/N: Change of style coming next chapter. Well, maybe change of "themes" is a better way of putting it. Please review and let me know what you think.

Warnings for this chapter: very mild violence
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BRIAN.

Oh how he hated these pants. The smallest size the school shop had and they were at least twice what he needed, carelessly hanging off his tiny body. Brian circled the school oval, slowly eating his apple, the only thing he intended on eating that day. What else was he supposed to do? He needed the exercise and he couldn’t eat anything else. Getting fat was not an option.

“Hey fag!” called a voice in front of Brian. He looked up, greeted with a strong shove in his shoulders, pushing him off his feet. “What’s wrong, fag?” laughed the same voice. It was a boy Brian recognized from his brief appearance in his homeroom. He had skipped all other classes so far. A few other students joined them, surrounding Brian still lying ,shocked, on the grass

“Wha-? Ugh!” Brian groaned as he felt a kick to his ribs. He rolled over, clutching his side as his classmates laughed.

“I thought you fags liked a good gang bang!” yelled a boy’s voice. The laughing continued, getting louder and louder in Brian’s head as he tried to block it, along with the pain, out.

“Hey!” came yet another voice, this one more distant. “What are you guys doing?”

Brian looked up. It was another of his classmates. Great.

“Oh hey, Stef. Come to meet our latest fairy classmate?” sneered the boy who had shoved Brian to the ground.

“Pete, he’s new, cut him some slack.” Stef told him, holding a hand out to Brian, much to everybody’s surprise.

“Uh, Stef, he wore a fucking skirt to class.”

“Yeah, as a joke!” Stef laughed, patting Brian on the back. “Right, Brian?”

Brian glared at him. “I’m not a fucking joke!” he yelled, and ran off, the laughter following him back to the school.


STEFAN.

Stefan was confused. Had he done something wrong? He thought he was helping the new kid out at lunch. Oh well, music class would distract him. If there was one thing that could clear Stef’s head of all the cares in the world, it was music. Carrying his acoustic guitar into the music room, he was surprised to see Brian in his usual spot at the back.

“You’re in my spot.” Stef said, walking over to the corner of the room, smiling.

“Sorry, your highness.” Brian rolled his eyes and started to get up.

Stef was confused. Maybe sarcasm wasn’t the best way to approach this boy. “No! No, it’s fine really. I’ll sit here.” He said quickly, sitting down in the next chair over. “You know,” he said, turning his head to face Brian. “I was only trying to help at lunch.”

“Yeah well now, thanks to you, everyone thinks I’m some kind of freak show.” Brian hissed back.

Stef didn’t know how to respond. Surely Brian had brought that upon himself, wearing a dress to class? Thankfully, the teacher walked in.

“Ok boys and girls I’m excited to tell you that we have a new curriculum this year!” she grinned. Nobody else looked excited. “Yes, um well judging by the information I have on you, we’re very lucky, because half the class are singers and half are instrumentalists. For the first assignment I need you to pair up with someone and arrange a song together! Wont that be fun?”

Stefan was excited. This was the first time he’d been allowed to be creative at St. Winston’s at all. He’d been dying to show his teachers what he was capable of for years, and now he had a chance.

“So um how about I go down the role and we just do it alphabetically?” the teacher suggested. Nobody objected. “Ok, umm Annie Brown, you go with Chris Adams, Miles Connors and Benjamine Edwards, Kylie Green and umm Emily Jenkins, Brian Molko and Stefan Olsdal, and Chris Turner and Benjamin Wilson. Nice small class this year! Ok partner up, there are no limitations on what you can do! Just make it your own original creation! Don’t get too worked up about it, I want these performed tomorrow in class, it’s just a bit of a warm-up exercise for the first real assignment.”

Stefan looked over to Brian, who had his head buried in his hands. He seemed the least enthusiastic about this assignment. In fact, it looked like Stef was the only one who was even close to as excited as the teacher was. “Well, um, should we start?”

Brian looked over at him. “You’re Stefan Olsdal?” his eyes widened.

Stef smiled. “Sorry to disappoint. Call me Stef.”


BRIAN.

Brian had hated group projects at school for as long as he could remember. No partner he had ever had had shared his thoughts, his creativity. He sighed, thinking this would be no different. “What do you play?” he mumbled at Stef.

“Guitar,” he replied, motioning to the instrument lying behind him. “And bass… and piano.”

Brian looked up, slightly more interested. “Me too. Well, I play guitar. And I sing.” Maybe this wouldn’t be too bad after all. Hitching up his baggy pants, he grabbed Stef’s guitar and walked outside. “You coming?” he called back.

Sitting on a bench outside, Brian couldn’t help but admire the guitar. It was beautiful, much nicer than his which he’d had to save up for himself. He strummed it lightly until Stef joined him, and handed it over. “Play something.” He instructed.

“What kind of song are we going to do?” Stef asked.

Brian shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Play me something and I’ll come up with some lyrics tonight.” He couldn’t help but smile at Stef’s shocked expression.

“You mean, we’re not actually going to practice it?”

“Nope. It’s going to be a surprise. For everyone.”

The pair spent the next hour playing around with guitar chords until they were satisfied with what they’d come up with. Brian grabbed his books and stood up to leave. “I like to put on a bit of a show,” he explained.

Stef smiled. “I figured.”

“Wear something nice.”


STEFAN.

Stef was confused. Walking home from school he couldn’t help but feel scared of what would happen in music class tomorrow. He was sure Brian would come up with something, but what? And what did he mean “wear something nice”? Smiling to himself he dragged himself up to his bedroom, and started to play.


BRIAN.
Never had Brian felt so excited about doing homework. He rushed home (making sure to beat his father to avoid a confrontation too early in the evening) and scrambled through dozens of sheets of paper in his room, all covered in random lyrics and poems he had scribbled down at one point or another. If music class was the only time he was allowed to be himself, he was going to make the most of it.