New Beginnings

He walked through the automatic doors, coat slung over one arm, carmel eyes scanning the emergancy room lobby for familar faces. Rose looked up from the magazine he had been reading and waved him over to their quiet little corner.

As Hakuei approached, he saw his other friends spread out across various couches and seats. Kirito and Bou were curled up on a small sofa, the younger of the two fast asleep. Kisaki and Kiyoharu sa beside them in chairs around a small TV, though it was turned very low, the blonde flipping idly through the numerous channels. Rose was sitting on a large couch against the wall, Tsukasa laying down on his back beside him, dark head resting in the drummer's lap.

Hakuei sat on the edge of a chair beside them, eyes strying to the sleeping man but his voice directed towards the blonde.

"What's going on?"

Rose gently stroked the head in his lap, long fingers running down a troubled face, through dark hair. The doctor's are spekaing with Yoshiki now." he whispered. "They called in Dr. Ishikawa, but we don't know what they've been telling him." he pursed his leps. "All we know is that he's in worse shape than we realized."

Hakuei sighed. "He's dying, Rose."

The blonde man's hand froze over Tsukasa's head. Very slowly he raised his head to meet the other man's eyes. "How are you so certian..?"

Hakuei placed his coat across his lap and crossed his legs, leaning closer to the blonde man.

"Before I left fotr Kansai, the night of the gig, Tora stayed aftre we closed nd we had a long talk." his eyes drifted back towards Tsukasa. "He explained to me.. how all these years, he's been virtually improsoned in various hospitals and clinics, all trying to ghelp wim but getting nowhere."

Rose closed his eyes. "Is it because of... of what happened..."

The other man nodded. "Tora's brain was damaged, from the blows but compounded by massive swelling. He was in a coma when his parents moved him away from here, and he stayed that way for several months." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Everything was affected, Rose, his motor functions, his sight, even his memory. For awhile, he couldn't even remember who alot of people were, or places he'd been to a hundred times before."

"But he seems to remember us just fine.."

Hakuei shook his head. "he didn't t first, to be sure. But he kept going through old diaries and letters, searching through photographs and yearbooks, slowly piecing back together his broken memories, figuring out what names went with which face." He face turned thoughtful. "Yet all though that, even when he couldn't quite remember some members of his own family, he remembered Tsukasa." His voice dropped so low Rose had to strain just to hear him. "He never forgot Tsukasa..."

Rose shook his head. "I never realized...."

"Neither did I, until he told me." Hakuei smiled slightly. "He wanted me to know all this, so I would understand him, not hate him for coming back in search of Tsukasa. He needed me to know that... he probably wouldn't have alot of time left to spend with him." He looked up, face hard. "Of that, he is certain. He knows he's dying, he knows that a blood clot, or an anurism, or even a bad seizure like he's had in the past could..." His hands worried the jacket in his lap nervously. "That's why he decided to come back when he did."

"But his doctors-"

"Can't really do much for him right now. They can ease his migraine pains to an extent and put him on all kinds of meds for seizures and depression, but thats about it."

Rose looked down at the oblivious man sleeping in his lap.

"So you knew... when you gave Tsukasa up .. you'ld probably have him back.. eventually."

Hakuei sighed. "I did a stupid thing and got Tsukasa upset. I did an even dumber thing and broke up with him when we went to the beach. But yes, after that.. after talking with Tora, I knew that it was a very real possibility thatthey would not have alot of time together anyway... and that was essentially what Tora was asking me, before I left." His eyes drifted towards the emerancy room doors, where the patients got wheeled through, away from everyone else. "He just wanted a chance to love the one person that's really ment anything in his short life...."

The blonde man said nothing for several minutes, trying to assimilate all this information.

"My god..." he whispered finally. "Tora's been... he's finally lucky this time, I guess?" He smiled slightly. "I want to think I'd be able to give up the one I love for someone else's happiness... it seems right.. but..." he shook his head. "I just don't know if I could. "His dark eyes regarded the other man with a new respect. "This is a very risky, very brave thing you are doing, especially for someone you really don't know."

"I'm not doing it for Tora," Hakuei said, "at least, not totally. I guess.... Life has been pretty shitty for him and it's unfair... but no, I'm doing this for Tsukasa." His carmel eyes narrowed to thin slits. "Tora's going to die, if not now, then soon, and Tsukasa is going to have to deal with it. I know it's going to be ten times worse on him if he isn't allowed to.... to....love him again." His hands clenched tightly in his lap. "At least he's able to spend a few more days with him..."

Rose suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Um... Hakuei, about that.."

"Kirito told me."

The blonde shot him a sideways glance. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"That they slept together?" Hakuei snorted, a bit louder than he had ment to, causing the others around them to turn and lolok. He blushed furiously and lowered his voice.

"Yes, in a big way, it does bother me. It bothers me to know that whatever amount of feelings Tsukas really has for me were not enough to stop him from bedding another man-"\

"Now wiat just a minute." Rose growled. "For satrters, we really don't know they did anything." Hakuei raised a disbelievinf eyebrow. "Ok, so maybe it may seem likely, but I think you should ask one of them before jumping to conclusions. But even if they did, two things. One: You tewo had broken up, you said so yourself. So anyone he sleeps with is his business. And Two:.. Tora's not just 'another man', like you also pointed out."

"I know, I just-"

"I remember in the beginning, right after Tsukasa got out of the hospital." He frowned, hjand still moving lazily over the sleeping man's soft head. "I remember how aweful it was, for him, for us to see him that way... broken, depressed, blaming everything on himself." He very slowly turned one of Tsukasa's forearms towards the other man. "See that long white scar?"

Hakuei nodded as his eyes picked up on the faint line running lengthwise down his arm. "I just thought it was from his father, like all the opther scars."

Rose shook his head and gently replaced the younger man's arm at his aside. "He tried to kill himself about a week aftre tora's family transfered him away. He just didn't see and point in living. he thought... he thought everything that had happened wasbecause of his poor judgement, the he should have been able to prevent it in some way.'

"But that's just carzy..." Hakuei whispered, staring down at his own hands.

"For five years I've watched him slowly become human again, slowly learn it was ok to take interest in his own life and the people in it again. And then..." Rose smiled, "then you walked into our lives and he finally found someone he felt was worth opening his heart to. He allowed himself to love again.

"Then Tora appears, as if in a dream."

Hakuei snorted. "So who do you think is better for him? Me or Tora?"

The blonde shrugged. "Honestly? I don't know. I knew Tora long before I met you, grew up with him, saw how much he and Tora loved each other, even so young as they were. Tora was a good kid, and seems to have developed into a good young man. Given another life, another cirmumstance, you'd probably have liked him alot too."

"I don't dislike him at all," Hakuei sighed. "The frew times I've had to speak with him, he seems very kind, articulate, a very nice man. And he's certainly attractive."

"That too." Rose grinned.

"And if I didn't like him to a certain degree, I never would have agreed to do what I'm doing, even for Tsukasa, especially for Tsukasa. In fact, it would be infinatly easier not to do it if I disliked him."

"I assure you," Rose said quietly, his eyes and voice belaying great conviction, "unless he's changed alot more in these past few yeatrs he's been away, Tora's a good man." he grinned. "Trust me, Kirito's very protective, especially when concerning two people; Bou and Tsukasa. If he ever had any thought that you, or Tora, would hurt his brother in any way, he would have made it very hard for either of you to see Tsukasa."

Hakuei chuckled. "I have no doubts."

Rose looked up suddenly and Hakuei turned i his seat to follor the other's gaze. Yoshiki was walking their way, still in deep conversation with two doctors; the emergancy room doctor and Dr. Ishikawa, Yoshiki's old friend and the doctor treating Tora.

Hakuei scooted down to the floor and placed a gentle hand on Tsukasa's facce.

"Tsukasa." he said loudly, rubbing the younger man's cheek.

The dark haired man slowly opened his eyes, trying to focus on the face before him. He smiled, eyes visibly brightening as he regicnised him. "You came back."

Hakuei smiled. "Of course I did. My family will inderstand." He looked behind him to see the other doctors leaving and Yoshiki making a beeline towards them. "I think there's news."

The other man's fair face fell suddenly as he remembered why they were all gathered and sat up, rubbing his reddened cheek. Yoshikiwaved the the others over, then stood beside Hakuei, seeming unsurprised at his son's sudden appearance.

"Tora's out of x-ray," the older man said, rubbing his temples. "They said he must have had a seizure nd hit his head i the bathroom, hence the wound on his forehead. They were able to do a fairly extensive examination, more CTs scans and such, and they don't think any more damage has been done."

"When can we see him?" Tsukasa spoke up, relief filling his tired face.

"They've given him alot of meds, and he's sleeping right now, but they'll come out and tell us when he's awake. If everything goes ok, he can come home tomorrow." He checked his watch. "It's nearly 5am. Those of you that want to go home, I have I'll drive you. Or, if you want to stay, I'll be back after I've made a run to the bar. he grinned slightly. "That is, if Achan, Hide and Toshiya haven't managed to burn the place down in my absense."

Kirito carefully extracted himself from his lovers, leaning him gently against Kisaki beside them. "Watch him, will you? The place was a total mess when we left." Kisaki nodded and draped an arm around Bou's shoulders. The smaller man snuggled close, still asleep and probably not even aware that his partner had suddenly changed.

With a nod of his head, Yoshiki left, Kirito following close behind. Rose stood and tapped Kiyoharu on the shoulder. "I need to.. strech my legs and get something to eat." he looked around at the others. Anyone else hungry?" The others shook their heads so the two blondes left, hand in hand.

Hakeui looked down at his feet, then sat down beside Tsukasa, the couch still warm from Rose's departure. Tsukasa crossed his legs, hands fiddling with the hem on his shirt.. The TV played some late night talk show, though no one was really paying attention.

Tsukasa cleared his throat. "So, how was it with your family?"

"Good, good." Hakuei smiled. "I didn't look quite like what they were expecting", he gestured to his colorful arms, "but they welcomed me just the same. It's good to be around people that will love you, no matter what."

"Yes," the younger agreed quietly, "it is."

They lapsed into silance for several moments more.

"The others told me Tora found an aparment." Hakuei said slowly, shifting slightly in his seat.

"Hai. We moved him in yesterday."

"they also said that you didn't go home last night."

Tsukasa was very quiet, not a muscle in his body moving.

"Don't feel bad for choosing him over me." the older man murmered quiestly. "I can understand how you mould love-"

"I dodn't sleep with him."

Hakuei's heart lept in his throat." "You didn't?"

The other man shook his head slowly. "I slept in his bed, yes, side by side, but I didn't sleep with him." He looked up into Hakuei's wide eyes. "Don't think I didn't want to, because I did." he looked away. "but, as much as I love him, I love you too. I.. I couldn't betray you like that. I-" Hakuei stopped him, pressing their lips together. Tsukasa froze, utterly surprised, then melted into the kiss. Hakuei's hand caressed his smooth cheek as he shut his eyes.

After a moment Tsukasa pulled back, ytears forming in his eyes. "I love him, but I love you too, so very much. "he sighed wearily. "I'm so sorry for all of this..."

"Never be sorry." Hakuei said firmly. "You can't help the way you feel, and I don't blame you . Nevither does Tora, trust me, I know. Don't think that just because you love me, and him, menas that you are betraying the other."

Tsukasa smiled and whiped his eyes. "That's pretty much what Tora said last night."

"Well, from what I've seen and heard, he's a good man." Hakuei sighed. "I think the three of us need to have a long talk. Soon."

The other miodded, his smile fading.

A nurse approached them, clipboard in hand.

"Your friend is awake," she said briskjly. "You may see him bnow, if you wish, though I would advise only one at a time until he's recovered more." The two men stood and dowed,m then followed the nurse. Hakuei paused to tell Kisaki the news, then ran to catch up with Tsukasa.

When the nurse had shown them to their friend's room, Hakuei placed a hand on Tsukasa's shoulder. "Would you mind if I went inside first?" he smiled. "I promise to be very brief."

Tsukasa narrowed his eyes in confusion, but nodded and watched as Hakuei pushed the door open, then quietly closed it behind. The younger man peeked through the small window for a moment, then crossed his arms, frowning, then began pacing back and forth down the hall. It made hims slightly nervous that Hakuei wanted to speak with Toora, especuially before himself, and he paced even faster, his mind going a mile a minute.

But true to his word, only a few minutes went by before the door opened again and Hakuei stepped out. His face seemed weary as he help open the door for Tsukasa, who smiled and ducked inside.

Tora's bed was propped up slightly, a white sheet covering most of his lower body. He wore a thin hospital gown several sizes too large for his thin frame. Tsukasa sat down on the edge of the bed and pushed up one side of his paper gown where it had slid off his bony shoulder.

"Feeling better?"

Tora smiled. "Of course. They've pumped me full os drugs!"

A butterfly Band-aid covered the wound on his forehead. Tsukasa reached out and brushed the hair from his eyes, frowning at the dark stain seeping through the bandage.

"The doctor's said if your tests come back ok, you can come home later today." Tsukasa yawned suddenly and covered his mouth. "Excuse me."

"Why don't you get some sleep." Tora said, taking Tsukasa's hand in his. "I'm not going anywhere until then."

Tsukasa shook his head violently. "No, I.. don't want to leave you." He looked down at their inwetwined fingers. Not yet."

Tora reached for his other arm and pulled him onto the bed with him. The just rest with me." Tsukasa smiled and wrapped his arms around the other man, burrying his face in Tora's neck. Tora reached for the button light on the arm of his bed, but before pressing it, he looked up. His eyes met Hakuei's through the small window in the door to his room, and he smiled.